


Crush (on) Your Rival

by Pikablukachu



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Compliant, Disaster Lesbians, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Romance, seriously theyre a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-06-27 22:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 43,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15694578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikablukachu/pseuds/Pikablukachu
Summary: Learning to be amicable with a rival you can't stop arguing with is one thing, but when that rival is also really cute and admirable? The relationship between Gensokyo's only two shrine maidens is actually even messier than it already seems to be.A story that puts romantic twists on canon-centric events!





	1. 'Gensokyo Common Sense'

**Author's Note:**

> I fell in love with Reimu and Sanae's dynamic together while reading the official manga, I couldn't help but want to flesh their relationship out even further.
> 
> I'm not sure how it took me so long to write my first shippy Touhou fic.. and it feels like something I may continue to add to if I ever get new ideas for it.
> 
> The theme of this story is 'unseen' events that happen in-between canon events. While I love slow-burn a lot, I wanted to have this story show how relationships can be messy or chaotic - so expect things to heat up pretty quickly. Overall I'm pretty happy with the endearing and fun character interaction.
> 
> As usual, there will be a glossary for unfamiliar terms at the end of each chapter.  
> I hope you enjoy it!

 

> **(2007)**

Sanae Kochiya fell to the ground, grasping the earth in between her fingers and panting for air. "You're strong... hahh... hahh..." she squinted up at the black-haired girl in red and white clothing, stood over her with a majesty that didn't even seem human. "W-wow, y-you're really good at this..."

The black-haired girl shrugged. "I know. It seems like you aren't, though."

Ashamed and humiliated, Sanae stared back at the ground and bit her lip.

"But..." the red-white shrine maiden continued, holding a hand out to help her opponent back up with an awkward smile. "You definitely could be!"

Sanae's yellow eyes widened with surprise, as she gave the other girl her hand and was helped to her feet. Her determined defeater then turned away and stared up the mountain.

"Oi, you okay?" shouted out the blonde girl wearing a large pointy black hat, as she ran to assist in helping the green-head to her feet.

"I'm fine..." The defeated shrine maiden half-lied, as she meekly dusted off her white and blue robes. She turned back towards the red-white miko and frowned with confusion. "Hey... If you're this powerful, why doesn't your shrine have more followers?"

"I'd like to know that myself. Maybe things aren't as simple as you so rudely assumed the other day."

"I-I..." the white-blue miko awkwardly clenched her hand to her chest. "All I wanted was for people to revere this mountain in the name of Lady Yasaka, the goddess of mountains. I thought that the humans and youkai that lived here would like that..."

The blonde witch-looking girl playfully slapped Sanae on the back. "They don't!" after which she giggled at the black-haired girl, who couldn't help but giggle back briefly before sighing and hovering into the air again.

"Now! I'm off to deliver some divine punishment to the god who's been causing me all this trouble!" she turned back to the other two with a grin, and a fire of excitement in her dark red eyes.

"Huh!? So, then, your goal is..." Sanae stuttered as the red-white miko took off, flying towards the mountaintop shrine at great speed. "You can't be serious!?"

"She is." the blonde grinned enthusiastically. "Man, it's good to see her like this again! It's been a while since anything exciting happened."

"Exciting!?" Sanae responded exasperatedly. "All I did was tell her to close down her shrine, and now everyone's fighting!"

"What did you think would happen? Haven't you heard any stories about her?" the blonde smiled sheepishly, before hopping onto her broom and hovering off the ground herself. "She was already irritated by her shrine's lack of worshippers, an' then you lit a fire in her that I haven't seen in years! It was like she suddenly felt like she needed to prove something t' you."

Sanae blinked in disbelief at what she had just heard. What was happening. The immediacy of it all was a little overwhelming. Then, as she gazed back towards the mountaintop to see that the black-haired girl was now barely a spec, she began to quiver slightly with anxiety.

Could that girl... really defeat such a powerful god?

The blonde witch held her hand out as she lifted off the ground. "Wanna come watch?"

* * *

 Reimu Hakurei sighed, sweeping the leaves that had mercilessly piled around Hakurei Shrine over the last week or so. She had been pretty busy, so it was inevitable. Unfortunately that brief excitement had ended all too quickly, and the mundane had returned.

Sure, things felt a little different now. Reimu had been Gensokyo's sole active shrine maiden - until just recently. Not to mention Hakurei Shrine had  _always_  been Gensokyo's sole shrine - until just recently. A new shrine maiden and a new shrine, with living, tangible gods and everything...

Reimu shot a glare at the small branch shrine the Moriya Shrine had set up on her shrine grounds. It was all amicable now, of course, set up entirely cooperatively. But on a quiet autumn day like this, it was the  _only_  thing that actually seemed any different. It wasn't like it sang or danced or anything. And it hadn't gotten her any extra donations or worshippers yet either.

It had only been like, a week. But still! Wasn't that other shrine maiden complaining about Hakurei Shrine's lack of faith or human worshippers? Because it didn't seem like that was changing at all!

Reimu sighed audibly. She shot a look over to her blonde friend, who was lying about on the shrine's walkway. Nothing.

Actually, the truth was Reimu was bored of being frustrated at the whole 'lack of faith' thing already. Right now she was more annoyed that her new acquaintances were all way too far away to regularly poke fun at, or shout at, or drink with...

She sighed again, louder this time, on purpose.

"What's up girl." Marisa Kirisame lazily responded. The blonde human magician was relaxing, looking through the chestnuts she had picked from around the mountain recently. The weather hadn't gotten too cold yet, but she was already wrapped up in a scarf and had let down her long hair to help keep her head warm.

"You think Sanae will visit again soon?" Reimu asked plainly.

Sanae Kochiya, the new shrine maiden. The shrine maiden from the Outside World. From near Lake Suwa, apparently? Wherever that was. It all had a really fascinating ring to it.

"Uh, Maybe? Why? Didn't she kinda annoy you? Pickin' fights and everythin'?" the magician looked at Reimu with a raised eyebrow. "What was it you said she said t' you? ' _If Gensokyo's only shrine continues to shed faith, the land will weaken..._ '" Marisa recited theatrically, making her friend chuckle quietly. "' _Close down Hakurei Shrine, and let it be taken over by the great gods at Moriya Shrine!_ '" she continued.

"I guess so. She really pissed me off, I almost thought she was a weird youkai at first." Reimu giggled, scratching her cheek awkwardly. "That's not a normal way for humans to introduce themselves to new neighbours, is it?"

"Maybe in the Outside World!" Marisa laughed "Buut then again Reimu, you're not really a normal human either."

Almost completely ignoring Marisa's comment, Reimu smiled to herself. "Another shrine maiden, huh... yeah, I want to see her again." she paused from the sweeping and clutched her broom to her chest. "She's kind of adorable."

"Ooh!" Marisa jolted upright with a delighted grin and a light scattering of pink on her cheeks. "It's been ages since I heard you describe a girl that way!"

Reimu laughed at Marisa's reaction, but didn't seem too flustered herself. "She's like a lost puppy. It makes me want to look after her."

Marisa flopped onto her back, almost disappointed. "Huh... Yeah, she definitely has that kinda vibe."

"Plus, she's really pretty... isn't she?"

And up again Marisa jolted. "It's _definitely_ been ages since you described a girl that way! Should I tell everyone you're startin' a Sanae fanclub!?" she excitedly teased.

"Don't." Reimu rolled her eyes at Marisa, frowning slightly. "I'm only saying she's pretty 'cause she is. And interesting... don't you wonder what kinds of things shrine maidens have to do in the Outside World!?" her mood flipped around, becoming more excited again.

"Why're you asking me? I didn't even know 'shrine maiden' was a ' _job_ ' til we fought Sanae! I thought it was just... you." Marisa giggled again, beginning to calm down. "But man, you really got over your annoyance at her quickly huh?"

Reimu shrugged and smiled gently at her friend, and Marisa knowingly took that as a yes. Reimu was obviously too busy being endeared by the cute, naive newcomer to stay annoyed at her, and Marisa found Reimu's initial annoyance more entertaining than anything to begin with.

Was it because meeting another powerful human around her age was rare? Was it because Sanae was the only person in Gensokyo with the same job as herself? Or perhaps Sanae's strange, 'modern' personality simply intrigued her? In truth, Reimu had never been the type to dwell on the whys. As far as she was concerned she didn't need a good reason. She just wanted to see Sanae again, and it was exciting to think that next time there may be less frustration or annoyance behind it.

Unfortunately, despite just recently meeting the considerably more motivated and diligent Sanae, Reimu's own motivation to pick up the shrine's act and to gather more faith was already beginning to dry up. She stood still on the shrine grounds and stared absentmindedly off into space.

"Wanna have a drink?" Marisa asked, sensing Reimu's lack of motivation and deciding to enable it a little.

"Didn't we drink with everyone just the other day?" Reimu smirked, raising an eyebrow at Marisa.

"It's different when it's just the two of us!" Marisa grinned, pulling out a bottle of sake from god-knows-where.

So despite the shrine maiden's weak-willed objections, Reimu and Marisa decided to relax together for the rest of the day.

* * *

 

> **(2011)**

"But math is the same everywhere in the world! Even in space! Being from Gensokyo isn't an excuse, how can you _not_ know math this basic?"

"' _Equations_ '? Or whatever? Aren't _basic_! What the hell do you even need this stuff for anyway? How is any of this going to help a shrine maiden to exterminate youkai!?"

"That's exactly the kind of attitude that keeps people like you so stuck in the past!"

"Ahh shut up! 'People like me'!? You only ever pull out this nerdy crap to look down on others anyway!"

"Oi..." Marisa rubbed the back of her head irritably. "Can you two give it a break? You're makin' the cherry blossoms wilt."

Determined to come across as the more mature one, Sanae de-escalated, smiling awkwardly. "M-Marisa is right, Reimu. I hoped you would find it interesting, but for now let's just enjoy the nice weather?"

"I-interesting!?" Reimu dragged an irritated palm across her face. "Acting all high 'n' mighty... isn't... interesting..." she sighed, making extra sure to show how exasperated she was.

Sanae pouted, holding her hands behind her back. She didn't argue back again, she just sighed. "Should I... go?"

"No... no. You don't have to go." Reimu sighed in response. And then an awkward silence hung in the air for a very, very long minute.

Marisa raised an amused eyebrow, almost as if she knew what was coming next.

Sanae stood up straight and weakly clapped her hands together. "Ah! Th-the cherry blossoms are still really piling up over there huh? I'm just going to go give them a little sweep? It'd bug me if I left it!" and without waiting for confirmation, Sanae briskly grabbed a nearby broom and wandered towards the edge of the courtyard.

"A-ah... yeah, thanks..." Reimu's voice trailed off. Her eyes lidded in irritation but she still smiled weakly. Why did this kind of thing keep happening? Marisa grinned and gave Reimu a hearty pat on the back. "Still on bad terms with the rival shrine eh?"

"Stop saying that..." Reimu rolled her eyes and nudged Marisa in the gut. "You know, some of the stuff she talks about actually  _is_  kinda interesting, I just wish she didn't act... y'know. Like  _that_  about it."

"You think it's interesting?" Marisa absentmindedly kicked a pebble around with her heel. "I mean, I love it when she talks about astrology an' stuff sure, but the other science and maths stuff just goes in one ear 'n' out the other for me."

Reimu's eyes drifted towards Sanae briefly, who was awkwardly staring at her feet as she swept blossoms from the path. "Seeing her talk about the stuff she's passionate about makes me feel like I'm finally getting to know her better. Like there's a really fascinating person in there somewhere that she hides from everyone."

"I kinda see whatcha mean..." Marisa stared at Sanae, too, holding her hands leisurely behind her head. "She's been comin' to enjoy the pleasant weather with us a lot more since those incidents with the buddhists and taoists, but she's so weird. What's even weirder is you two always having those culture clashes, or whatever..."

"Just _us_!?" Reimu pouted. "What about you, she looks down on you too doesn't she?"

"I guess?" Marisa shrugged. "But we deal with tons of cocky youkai like that every single week without battin' an eyelid, she's the only person you get worked up like this ‘bout."

Reimu mumbled something unintelligible to herself and frowned, looking over to Sanae again. She matched Sanae's lonely expression with her own.

Maybe awkwardness between the two shrines was inevitable for a few years, but the clashes between Reimu and Sanae in particular had become something a little more personal.

Working alongside each other for a couple of incidents had definitely helped Reimu and Marisa to become closer to the newcomer. Sanae had taken this new feeling of familiarity as an excuse to hang out with them more often too - alongside excuses like 'lovely weather we're having today!' or 'Do you need any help around the shrine?'

... Yeah, Reimu and Marisa had come to realise that Sanae was something of a workaholic. When Sanae wasn't doing chores at either her shrine or Reimu's, she was finding ways to gather faith and increase the influence of Moriya Shrine. To others, it probably seemed like it was all she cared about.

That was another way in which the two shrine maidens contrasted.

Sanae knew full well that she was a workaholic too. She saw being able to enter work-mode at any time as a convenient escape method - anything to get away from an awkward situation or keep those lonely thoughts at bay! Because as far as she was concerned she was annoying, and just plain bad at making friends.

Her attempts to talk about things that interested in her just ended up in her feeling naturally defensive, especially when someone made her feel like she was lesser for it. Besides her job, her interests were basically all she had after all. So before she knew it, she was in _another_ pointless spat with someone she really genuinely wanted to get to know better.

It sucked. She had left behind a life where everyone thought she was weird, only to come to a world where people thought she was weird in a totally different way. ' _Of **course** I didn't have any friends'_ she would often tell herself. ' _What if Reimu and Marisa think the same? What if Reimu thinks I'm a pathetic excuse for a shrine maiden?'_

All they did lately was argue, after all...

"Ugh..." Sanae finished up a small spot of sweeping as her mistakes continued to weigh on her mind. She quickly came up with an excuse, and set the broom gently to one side. "I'm gonna go after all, I remembered some errands I have to run for Lady Kanako and Lady Suwako..." she bowed gently at the other two and wiped some cherry blossoms from her robes while she was at it. "I-I..." she stuttered, struggling to vocalise her regret. "I apologise if I ever overstay my welcome... or anything."

"N-no! Not at all! Always a pleasure!" Reimu fumbled, trying to sound polite herself in an uncharacteristic kneejerk reaction, as a light pink scattered her face. She wasn't used to people being polite to her in general. "Take care and see you soon, I guess?"

Sanae's gloomy, apologetic expression softened slightly, and her eyes widened. Reimu really wanted her to keep visiting?

"You're one of this shrine's politest visitors, period, y'know." Marisa giggled and playfully rested an arm on Sanae's shoulder as she gestured towards Reimu. "Most of this girl's other friends are literal monsters who rudely show up uninvited, so you could do much worse."

Reimu's brow furrowed at Marisa's implication that most of Reimu's friends were youkai - but she nodded anyway, because Marisa was right.

Sanae struggled to keep an awkward, wobbly smile from spreading across her face. She waved awkwardly, genuinely happy and warmed that they still tried to make her feel welcome despite their differences, but was quick to set off home anyway.

She just... wasn't good with situations like that. She couldn't relax at all!

During her trek back home, Sanae couldn't help but ruminate on how her relationship with those two, particularly with Reimu and her rival's shrine, had changed since Moriya Shrine had moved to Gensokyo.

For a long while, the shrines scarcely interacted with one another save for official matters. Like when Kanako needed help with Reimu or Marisa for some kind of science experiment, or during maintenance of the branch shrine, or during festivals in the human village where the rivals had to establish ground rules for fair competition...

But in the last couple years, Sanae had eagerly helped Marisa and Reimu with a few incidents. Infact she almost started to feel like... maybe, Reimu and Marisa actually appreciated her?

Even though she still lacked 'Gensokyo common sense' sometimes. Even though she was initially so confused about whether she wasn't taking danmaku fights seriously enough, or way too seriously.

Sanae struggled to keep a smile off her face as she arrived back home at Moriya Shrine, on the top of Youkai Mountain. Her argument with Reimu had once again been so stupid... and she felt so, so frustrated that genuine friendship seemed to be just within reach but her own stupid idiot brain kept messing it up by panicking and saying the wrong things.

But she was happy? Her heart ached with a bittersweet wistfulness as she remembered always feeling so lost in the Outside World. She remembered that her first years in Gensokyo were awe-inspiring and exciting, but also terrifying. So comparing back then to now? Her awful case of cabin fever finally seemed to be getting better, her persistent loneliness finally subsiding.

She couldn't help but entertain the thought that... she might actually be happier now than she ever had been before.

"I'm home!" Sanae chimed as she slid open the doors of Moriya Shrine and slipped off her shoes. "Welcome back." called a smooth, deep voice from the main room. "You sound rather chipper this evening."

"Really? That's good, I guess." Sanae suddenly realised she sounded like she was in a good mood, even though her mind had been dwelling so much on the dumb things she had said earlier. She lightly wandered in to the main room and knelt at the table near Kanako Yasaka, a wind god and the primary goddess of Moriya Shrine.

Kanako was sat cross-legged, staring through the shrine's side doors at Youkai Mountain's own cherry blossoms. She relaxed with a large cup of deep, red wine that almost matched the colour of her dress. Her bushy, dark blue hair swayed gently as a spring breeze rolled through the room. Kanako turned her head to smile gently at Sanae as she sat. Kanako's face was slightly reddened... she was a little tipsy, perhaps.

"Is Lady Suwako around?" Sanae mused, sighing and taking in some of Kanako's own relaxed atmosphere to help calm herself further.

"Sure am." came Suwako Moriya's enthusiastic voice from the next room, as she hopped in with a tray full of sweet snacks and began to help herself - taking hearty swigs of white wine in between bites. As always, the smaller god's long, straight blonde hair was covered up with her large brown hat, comically adorned with frog eyes. Her frog-pattern indigo dress further betrayed her bias towards the little amphibians. "What's up, Sanae?"

"You'll regret it if you keep indulging on sweets and wine that quickly..." Kanako softly mumbled, wiping a bit of red bean paste off of Suwako's cheek with her thumb and then licking her thumb. Suwako just waved her hand dismissively and the two goddesses chuckled together. As always.

Sanae couldn't help but giggle along with them. "Ahh, not much! I just visited Reimu again today... said some weird Outside World things I don't think she understood. The usual."

"Aw!" Suwako hopped round the table to ruffle Sanae's hair and playfully console her. "I should get Reimu over here sometime, she sounds like just the kinda old-fashioned I need to team up with against Kanako sometime."

"Leave me alone..." Kanako giggled a little more heartily as she nudged her other in the stomach. Her drunkenness becoming more evident. "I may not be quite as old as you, but age is never an excuse not to modern up a little. Science is-"

"-Awesome, yeah I know."

"Magnificent!!" Kanako couldn't help but blurt out.

"We get it!" Suwako laughed more loudly, playfully and affectionately wrapping her arms around Kanako's neck from behind as the two continued to enjoy Gensokyo's early spring atmosphere together.

They had definitely been happier since the move to Gensokyo, too...

In the Outside World, their very existence was threatened by lack of belief from modern culture. That was the core reason they had all decided to move Moriya Shrine to Gensokyo together. For the first time in Sanae's lifetime, it felt like she was seeing them both truly relax.

These two gods were Sanae's family. The closest thing she had to parents anymore. Even before the move to Gensokyo, they were two of the only people she was ever comfortable enough to call 'loved ones'. It was always so much easier to relax and be herself around them, and they meant everything to her. Plus, she often couldn't help but think that the very idea of three gods essentially forming a nuclear family was just... really cool. Like something out of a heartwarming fantasy story.

Oh yeah, that's right; Sanae was actually half-god herself. She was born human, but was actually a distant descendent of Suwako and had been imbued with enough faith as Moriya's miracle-performing shrine maiden to have nurtured her own divinity. Sanae was still young and clumsy though, so a lot of people often forgot that fact...

Of course she was endlessly grateful for everything Moriya Shrine and its gods had done for her, but sometimes she wished she felt closer to people her own age. She was almost afraid to tell the two of them just how lonely she often felt, because she didn't want to sound selfish.

Kanako, still dealing with her own drunken giggling, wiped a loose tear from the corner of her eye before returning her attention to the youngest god. "Anyway! Sanae, you've been very attached to Reimu lately, hm?"

Sanae, taken aback by the suddenness of Kanako's question, went bright pink as her back straightened. "W-well I j-just! I think she's kind of amazing, I guess!? Like a superhero!"

"Mmm?" Kanako raised an eyebrow, leaning her chin on her fist as she recalled the day she first met Reimu herself - the day Reimu soundly defeated her. "She's certainly very strong, it does make you forget she's just a human shrine maiden."

"R-right!?" Sanae's eyes lit up in excitement as Kanako indulged her. "And lately, fighting alongside her, seeing how she moves with like a sixth sense... it's like she's a force of nature almost? Like, not just a person, but beautiful and majestic like a part Gensokyo itself!"

Suddenly remembering she was talking to two actual gods of nature, she deflated in embarrassment after her slight nerd-out and knelt down again. Those thoughts had been bubbling inside her for so long that they'd burst forth at the smallest opportunity to talk about how cool Reimu was... but god was it cheesy.

To her relief, though, both the other gods were drunk enough to find that level of cheese utterly appropriate. "I think I can see why you say that, I'll have to work hard to not be outdone by her." Kanako nodded and chuckled again.

"That's a pretty low bar." Suwako bantered, causing Kanako's jaw to drop in playful shock as the two continued to laugh together. Sanae awkwardly laughed herself, rubbing the back of her head.

"Sh-she just... makes me feel at ease, I guess..." Sanae continued. "I always over-analyse, and worry, and overwork, but she's so straightforward and carefree."

Sanae had always been so highly conscious of her own issues, so she spent a lot of time thinking... and overthinking... and occasionally completely misreading things. Seeing how relaxed Reimu was though - taking life in her stride, always just about managing - really helped Sanae to keep things in perspective. It was refreshing. Inspiring, even.

They contrasted each other so strongly, but it was weirdly reassuring. Gensokyo's only two shrine maidens were from two totally different worlds, lonely in their own ways... so Sanae couldn't help but see Reimu as a kindred spirit. Someone she could really identify with and see herself in.

"Didn't you look down on her for being carefree at one point?" Suwako teased, notably the most carefree goddess of the three herself.

Sanae pouted. "Th-that was then! I misjudged her! But now I can't look down on her for a second. Even though I'm a half-goddess and I work so hard and I know all this science stuff, it sometimes feels like I'll never catch up to her... but that also means she always keeps me on my toes! A-and she's... somehow, she's one of the most reliable people I've ever met."

She smiled warmly to herself, wrapping her arms around her knees as she sat. "Like... if you're ever scared in this weird world full of monsters, you remember that Reimu is around... and then suddenly you feel like... everything's probably going to be okay."

The two gods smiled gently at Sanae as silence fell for a few moments. Kanako then gestured her wine cup at Sanae and winked. "You know, that's some pretty good poetic stuff you just said. Maybe you should tell her all that someday, instead of arguing with her about things."

"L-Lady Kanako...!!" Sanae heaved her shoulders in exasperation, her face growing redder, while Suwako burst into more giggles of laughter.

But... yeah... maybe Kanako was right. Maybe someday, Sanae would feel comfortable enough to tell Reimu all sorts of things. She'd be able to tell Reimu how cool she was. How much she appreciated Marisa's confidence. How much both of their warmth had meant to her ever since she met them.

And maybe someday, Sanae would find out that Reimu felt the same way about having another shrine maiden to relate to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I struggled a little with the first chapter. Initially the second half of this chapter was gonna be set between UFO and TD, but setting it after Ten Desires just gave me more to work with in the end.
> 
> Things start getting REALLY fun in the next chapter, if you love a mix of angst and fluff you'll hopefully love it.
> 
> \------------------------  
> Glossary:  
> Danmaku - "bullet hell", bullet barrage, bullet curtain, fire curtain etc. The genre of shootemup Touhou falls in  
> Equations - your guess is as good as mine


	2. Beer Pressure

> **(2013)**

It had been around six years since the Moriya Shrine incident, and not too much had changed between Reimu and her rival. At least, nothing obvious.

Despite their unshakeable fondness for one another, Reimu and Sanae still got annoyed at each other pretty often. Maybe too often. Reimu especially, found herself increasingly irritated at Sanae's routine faith-peddling and showy, faux confident attitude.

"What is  _with_  you two? Always this weird tension in the air." Marisa scoffed one afternoon as Reimu stuck her tongue out at Sanae, who was preaching in the Human Village.

"Same as always, she always gets all this faith and attention even though she's so fake."

"She's good at it!" Marisa smirked and giggled. "She should have taken part in that religious war thing, she seems like she'd be really good at popularity contests."

Reimu rolled her eyes. "Great, now I'm starting to wonder if I was acting just like Sanae throughout that whole thing."

"She rubbing off on you? Seriously though." Marisa raised an eyebrow as they drew away from the crowd and headed outside the village "Even though we get along pretty well with her nowadays, you still always get like this about her way too often. 'Specially when she's workin'."

Reimu pouted at Marisa. "That's exactly the problem. The more I get to know the real Sanae and the more I like her, the more distant I feel from that fake posturing attitude of hers'. When she helps us with incidents or gets drunk with us she at least shows a little more of her real self."

"That last incident was pretty dangerous, though... the youkai were all really riled up and we couldn't even use our weapons properly..." Marisa mused, thinking back to the incident that had occurred just the other week.

"Yeah... don't get me wrong, I'm glad Sanae wasn't involved, but lately I almost feel like I miss her. Seeing her doing all that overacting... doesn't help."

After mentioning acting, Reimu chuckled to herself as she remembered the religious wars earlier in the year and the troublesome youkai behind it. "That fake public persona Sanae wears... it's kinda like a mask, like with that mask-happy menreiki girl."

"Kokoro was plenty genuine enough in the end too." Marisa rested her hands behind her head. "And Sanae's just doin' her job. If it bugs you so much, why don't you just talk t' her about it?"

Reimu sighed and gently rubbed her temple. "I probably will, I guess. She just seems to be the kinda person who would get upset by that sort of thing."

"That's never bothered you before, Reimu." Marisa gently elbowed her friend. "Everyone likes you for some reason d'spite how brazen you usually are, 's not like you say unnecessary things often either."

The shrine maiden pouted again "Yeah, yeah I know... I dunno. Maybe I'm just frustrated that Sanae always seems so far away, both literally and as a person."

Marisa pouted and scratched the side of her head "You're thinkin' way too hard about this! You've always been plain weird about Sanae, remember when we first met her you said she was cute?"

A light shade of pink decorated Reimu's cheeks. "And? What's the big deal?" she replied almost defensively.

"You blushed! You never blush unless you're drunk or wrong about something!"

"Shut up! I'm allowed to think she's cute!"

Marisa sighed with a mischievous grin "Anyway... If you're gonna get philosophical on me, I can't help." then giggled "But considerin' she's your rival, Sanae sure is fond of spendin' time at your shrine. Maybe if you just... be Reimu, like always, instead of bein' weird about it? Maybe she'll find it easier to be Sanae."

"Don't you always say that I  _am_  weird?"

"You are weird, Reimu, but when you're bein' weird it's like. Double weird."

"Thanks, that makes _soo_ much more sense now Marisa."

"You're welcome bud."

Reimu rolled her eyes but couldn't help but smirk. Somehow, Marisa always knew how to make her feel better. "Ahhh dammit, you're right though. Fine! I'll just get drunk with her at the party this weekend and we'll have a good old fashioned bonding session!"

"Whooo booze!" Marisa punched a fist into the sky playfully, before waving to Reimu and heading off home.

As was often the case, Reimu and Marisa were planning a party of sorts at Hakurei Shrine to celebrate the successful solving of another incident.

It had been a pretty busy year, with the most recent incident involving a mallet and a bunch of powered up youkai trying to overthrow society or something.

The incident was resolved without causing too much of a mess around Gensokyo, but this meant that Reimu's actions went largely unnoticed and her shrine remained unpopular. She hoped that by throwing a party, people would find more reason to worship at Hakurei Shrine - even if just for a short while.

But admittedly, Reimu was really hoping to spend a little more time with Sanae too. After Sanae had helped with a few incidents over the last half decade, her absence during this year's events had made Reimu feel strangely lonely.

But!! That was nothing a little alcohol couldn't fix!!

At least, that's what she thought.

* * *

 

"Uuugggh... what's up, Reimu?" Marisa mumbled as she stumbled up to the shrine the day after the party.

Reimu was nursing a hangover with the help of Kasen Ibaraki, a hermit woman with a bandaged arm and pink hair in Chinese buns. Despite how much drinking had been done the night before, Kasen seemed significantly more awake and composed than either of the younger girls.

Seeing Marisa turn up with a hangover, Kasen held her hand to her mouth and chuckled. "You two are hopeless! Why aren't you at home resting after how much you drank last night, Marisa?"

"I can't remember like... anything. So I came t' ask Reimu if she ever got t' talk to Sanae." Marisa sleepily grinned, slouching over as she sat next to Reimu on the shrine walkway.

Reimu and Kasen both stared at Marisa as if she had just made a really insulting joke.

"What?" Marisa pouted. "I'm hungover, be gentle..."

"You really don't remember anything, do you?" Kasen laughed awkwardly. "Reimu and Sanae had a really, really big argument... about alcohol, of all things."

"I really messed up..." Reimu groaned. "I just wanted to drink with her and get closer to her, but she was being so annoying and dumb that I just ended up insulting her. I'm  _still_  annoyed at her, too."

"You were both being dumb. We just talked about this." Kasen sighed. "Alcohol can be a good ice-breaker, but it can also flare up tensions that were already there."

Reimu huffed and stared at her feet, chewing her bottom lip. "First, she was acting all flippant about the incident, then she called me old fashioned for wanting her to drink with me? Why'd she have to get so defensive and personal like that!?"

"You're both like that." Kasen gave Reimu's head a gentle pat. "You contrast in a lot of ways, but you both get pretty defensive about differences in worldview too. It's one of the few things you have in common." the woman giggled.

"Have in common, huh?" Reimu flopped over onto her back. "I wish we had more in common, maybe then we could finally relax around each other a little more..."

"It's fine!" Kasen smiled warmly. "Don't worry about it, sometimes bonds forged between different kinds of people are really special. That's where the saying 'opposites attract' comes from, right? There's always next time."

"Oh my god." Marisa clasped her fist to her other hand. "I remember! After you guys argued I got so stressed out that I drank even harder! Holy crap."

Kasen laughed awkwardly while Reimu groaned even louder. "I'm sorry guys..." Reimu mumbled. "I dunno how I'm even gonna talk to her next time I see her, let alone bond with her if she doesn't want to drink with me."

Kasen stood up, getting ready to leave. "Just because she doesn't want to drink with you, doesn't mean she doesn't want to spend time with you. Maybe she'll be more comfortable being herself and opening up if you just... accept her for how she is. That's how you usually make friends with strange youkai, right? Try it on a strange half-human sometime."

"That's like the advice I gave her the other day!" Marisa grinned. "It's good advice!"

"Fine fine, I get it already!" Reimu made a shooing motion at Kasen. "Are you gonna leave, or are you gonna keep lecturing me?"

"I'm done, I'm done." Kasen smirked. "I'll see you two later, take it easy okay?"

"That's one thing I  _am_  good at." Reimu grinned weakly, giving Kasen a thumbs up before flopping down on her back again as Kasen flew off home.

Marisa playfully poked at Reimu's head to distract herself from her own pounding headache. "You really do act different around Sanae compared to most of your friends, huh?"

"I act different around you too, y'know."

"You _know_ what I mean, Reimu. We've known each other since forever, it's different."

"Ahh whatever." Reimu pouted. She lifted her forearm over her eyes to shade it from the sun slightly, and to cool her heated head.

She was sobering up fine, but her head still felt hot.

' _Why... do I have such a hard time seeing Sanae for who she is?_ ' she thought, as Marisa and Kasen's advice became increasingly frustrating to think about.

* * *

 

Sanae dominated Reimu's thoughts a little more than usual in the following days. Luckily, Reimu didn't have to wait too long before Sanae visited again.

As a peace offering, Sanae had brought Reimu some sake. Supposedly, this sake was actually pretty fancy, too! It had been brewed by some inchling god, or something? She couldn't remember the details. Either way, Reimu was quickly excited to throw another party with it. Not just to show it off, but to make up for that previous disaster!

Though... after Sanae delivered the sake, she spent the rest of the afternoon stiffly hanging around Hakurei Shrine until other guests turned up for Reimu's reattempt at a party.

So the afternoon was - in a word - awkward. The memory of the argument from the other day still fresh in their minds, both shrine maidens kind of kept to themselves. Sanae even did some odd cleaning and sweeping, just to keep herself occupied.

"You really don't have to do that... What's the point of cleaning if it's just gonna be messed up again in a few hours, right?" Reimu asked her with an awkward smile, raising an eyebrow.

"O-oh well... you know!" Sanae stuttered, rubbing the back of her head and forcing a weird laugh. No, Reimu didn't know! But... she wasn't about to start another argument.

Reimu's mood was actually pretty good, but she found it difficult to start a conversation with Sanae the whole time. In fact, Sanae almost seemed to be avoiding her a little? And every time their eyes met while Sanae was cleaning, or while Reimu was preparing for the party, they quickly averted eye-contact again.

Being around Sanae while she wasn't in faith-gathering mode was enough to more or less dispel Reimu's anger towards her though. It was actually kind of nice to spend the afternoon as just the two of them, even if it was mostly in silence.

This Sanae... even though she was quiet and still seemed unnerved from the argument... this was the real Sanae. This was the endearing, strange, cute shrine maiden Reimu had become so fond of in her head.

It kinda made Reimu even more upset that Sanae wouldn't drink with her.

Still, in a big relief to both Reimu and Sanae, not to mention Kasen, the party was a big success! Even though the sake was... actually pretty unexceptional, and had a plain taste. Moods were light, and a pleasant buzz drifted through the atmosphere as the evening drew to a close.

A mostly sober-seeming Kasen gave Reimu a gentle shake on the shoulder before she left. That woman was really amazing at holding her liquor. "Tell Sanae she did a great job with the whole sake thing." She grinned knowingly. "I think parties are much better when there's more harmony in the preparation."

Reimu, on the other hand, was definitely drunk. Not nearly as heavily drunk as at the last party - but still much too drunk to even suspect that Sanae had tricked her with completely ordinary Outside World sake. Instead, the black-haired shrine maiden beamed warmly at Kasen, and waved to her as she headed home.

Ever the delightful companion, an equally drunk Marisa sauntered along and gave Reimu a nudge in the stomach. "Reimu... don't forget the. Thing. You gotta do."

Reimu lidded her eyes at her friend and took another sip of the sake. "I know! I've been thinking about it all evening I just... didn't wanna try talking to her while it was still so busy, in case we made another scene."

"You won't!" Marisa smirked, shoving Reimu towards Sanae perhaps a little too hard and making Reimu buckle over a little. "Go forth, mighty miko!"

"Asshole." Reimu grinned back at Marisa before taking a deep breath. "Hokay... just gotta tell Sanae she's cute, right?"

"What?" Marisa squinted. "No, you were gonna tell her she's annoying. That's what you were worked up about last week? But like, whatever works!" the blonde snorted a giggle. "Just... be Reimu! Be Reimu!"

"Be... Reimu." repeated Reimu with a determined expression, before collecting herself again and finally approaching Sanae.

Sanae was completely sober. Reimu had ultimately refrained from pressuring her to drink that evening, partially because she didn't want Sanae to get upset again or... point out her lack of knowledge on the 'special' sake they were serving that night.

Despite Reimu's worries though, Sanae was able to relax a lot. Infact, Reimu had been more fascinated than ever by Sanae throughout the night.

Even without alcohol, the green-haired shrine maiden mingled and laughed with both humans and youkai. She performed weird, intricate dance routines Reimu had never seen before. She did silly impersonations of characters and people Reimu knew nothing about.

Actually, no one knew anything about them! But everyone was so endeared to Sanae's peculiarities. They all begged her to do more impressions even after she insisted no one would get them. Reimu especially loved the one where Sanae held her fingers above her own head and squeaked "Pika, pika!" or something? How was it possible for such a weirdo to be so intoxicatingly cute!?

Focus, Reimu. Focus. Sanae had gotten a little worn out from hours of partying. She was sat by herself on the side of the shrine's walkway, illuminated by the flicker of fires still lit in the courtyard.

Either Sanae was drunk on atmosphere or she was just in a really nice mood, because despite being as awkward and shy as ever she was leaning her chin in her fists with a goofy smile on her face. She kicked her legs back and forth carefreely as she watched the few remaining youkai at the party dancing and drinking themselves into a stupor. Her relaxed vibe made her much easier for Reimu to approach - and the drunk shrine maiden plonked herself down next to Sanae.

"Oh! Hey Reimu!" Sanae chirped, her expression noticeably lighting into an exuberant smile as Reimu sat down. "Didn't the party turn out great in the end?"

"Y-yeah..." Reimu relaxed back slightly, suddenly forgetting what she was supposed to be talking about. She had been so focused on how happy she was to spend time with the real Sanae, that she...

Oh, yeah! That was it!

"It  _was_  great! And y'know why you had so much fun? It's 'cause you finally relaxed a bit!" Reimu grinned playfully at Sanae, to which Sanae rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

"Y-yeah... well, you know! I couldn't have relaxed this much if you hadn't accepted me for who I was! S-so thank you..." the green-head awkwardly poked her fingers together and giggled.

"Mhm, mhm! It's important to me that you get to be yourself." Reimu crossed her arms, perhaps a little too proudly, and nodded. "All that faith peddling and preaching you do all the time makes you seem like a seriously annoying person, so you really just need to chill out a bit!"

Smooth.

"...Wh-what!?" Sanae squeaked, taken aback. She shuffled away from Reimu and defensively rose her fists to her face. "W-well! I'd much rather be preaching all the time than be some unmotivated shrine maiden running a faithless youkai shrine!" she snapped back.

"Speak for yourself! My 'youkai fine' gets by just shrine- uh, fine!" Reimu couldn't help but argue clumsily back.

Wait! No! No this wasn't meant to happen! Were they going to argue again, just like last time!? It was as if they had spent the whole evening on guard towards each other, arming themselves with arguments and comebacks in their heads, waiting for their truce to collapse again.

Reimu blinked, a little wide-eyed, as her face reddened. "W-wait, see! There you go again! I really wish you'd chill out!"

Sanae's jaw was clenched, her own face reddened and tears building a little in her eyes. "Telling me to 'chill out' doesn't make me  _feel_  better,  _Reimu_! Especially not after you called me annoying!?" she bit her quivering lip and looked at the ground, as her heart slumped into her stomach.

"Sanae." Reimu tried to put her hand on Sanae's shoulder, but the other girl jerked away, holding her fist to her chest as she glared hurt daggers at the brunette.

"You know what, Reimu...? If I'm so annoying to you, I wish you'd just told me years ago." Sanae's fists trembled slightly "I  _always_  asked you! I always said, I'm not a _bother,_ am I? Or a _nuisance_!? If you had just told me... it would have been so, so much easier on both of us. I never w-would have-..." Sanae stuttered, her eyes struggling to maintain contact with Reimu's as the built-up tears began to trickle down her cheeks.

"I never would have g-gotten so invested in thinking we were f-fr-" Sanae choked, before hiding her ashamed, reddening eyes behind her wrist and whimpering. "R-Reimu...!  _Uughh_!!" she cried out in frustration, her voice cracking as panic began to overwhelm her.

Now Reimu's own heart was sinking. She was normally so good at telling people exactly what she meant... her bluntness was usually so refreshing to the people she met. Why was she so bad at handling Sanae? Why was this going so badly?

All she could think about in that moment was how this was the first time Sanae had worn her heart so plainly... but she seemed to be in so much pain. She was crying... she seemed really, seriously hurt. Ugh. Seeing her like this made unfamiliar, uncomfortable knots bunch up in Reimu's stomach.

After hiding her face and failing to hide her throat's whimpers, Sanae shot a pained glare at Reimu's shocked, speechless expression. No, it was too much for Sanae to handle, she had to get out of there. She wanted to run away. Anywhere was better than staying here, heartbroken and humiliated.

But as Sanae hurtfully got up to leave, Reimu clasped after her hand to stop her. "S-Sanae, please listen to me! I really, really like you! More and more all the time! So please, don't stop visiting me?"

The red-faced Sanae angrily wiped her eyes with the long-white sleeves of her robe. "Wh-what are you talking about? You literally just said I was annoying! You must hate spending time with someone like that... and I've been bothering you all this time!"

"It's the opposite!" Reimu tugged gently at Sanae's hand, pulling her to sit again. "I want to see more of you, I want to see the real Sanae way more than I get to! J-just... not that act you put on for worshippers."

Sanae hesitantly slumped her butt back down onto the walkway next to Reimu, aiming a mopey glare at Reimu and sniffling, tears still slipping from the corners of her eyes. She took a deep, sharp breath, and gently punched Reimu in the upper-arm.

"Telling me you dislike the way I act while I'm working doesn't make me feel good, you know. It doesn't matter if it's 'fake', it's still me. Not only is it hard work, but it's a habit I can't easily shake when I've been doing it for so long."

"S-...sorry." Reimu pouted, taken slightly aback by Sanae's defense and trailing circles with her finger on the boarding next to her. "I just... think that your normal si-"

" _All_  of me is my 'normal' side!!" Sanae pouted back and punched Reimu's arm again, this time with surprising force.

Ow! Sanae must have been really upset... because that actually really stung. Reimu rubbed her arm awkwardly.

"S-sorry your... the side you show at my shrine, at this party, right now. The side that isn't afraid to hit me." Reimu smiled sheepishly, to which Sanae laughed awkwardly back and wiped more tears from her eyes. "That earnestness! I-I just... I find it really cute."

Blink. Blink blink.

"C-...cute!?" Sanae's eyes widened again, her face reddening again, but this time sweat beading on her face.

Reimu nodded, her face lighting up excitedly and a huge smile spreading across her face as she indulged in Sanae's adorable reaction. "Yeah!? Like, whenever you do those cute impressions, it makes me want to... I dunno!" Reimu giggled and began to invasively pinch at Sanae's cheeks.

"H-hey! Reimu!" Sanae's face only became an even brighter red, but she couldn't help but giggle back.

"Your face is so soft, what the hell!?" Reimu blurted out playfully in between giggles, wearing her drunkenness on her sleeves as she continued to get handsy with Sanae's face.

"Reimu, that kinda hurts!?" Sanae giggled again before shoving her own hands at Reimu's face, pinching at Reimu's cheeks herself for a short while and giggling together with her. At least, until her face  _really_  started to hurt, and she used her hand to shove Reimu away and regain her breath.

"Ahhh... you're so weird, Reimu!" Sanae kept giggling, holding her hands to her aching stomach. "How are you so good at endearing yourself to people even though you can be so mean?"

"I-I'm not trying to be mean!" Reimu pouted, shuffling herself closer to Sanae again and wrapping her arm around the girl. "But when you're like this, that, just then!"

"Y-you mean when I was pinching your face..." Sanae muttered, her jaw hung open as her face reddened again.

"Yeah! It makes me feel like you're really weird and endearing too, and I just don't know the real you at all! Does... that make sense?" Reimu rubbed the back of her head with her free arm.

"U-uh..." Sanae rolled her head back and awkwardly looked at the sky, trying to ignore Reimu's arm around her. Something about being called 'weird' by Reimu was... weirdly comforting. "I guess... I'm still upset, though..."

Reimu hung her head slightly on Sanae's shoulder and pouted again. "I-I'm... I'm sorry." she had never been great at apologising, but Sanae's tears still stung for some reason, burned into her mind. "You've just... you've been on my mind a lot lately."

"Because of our argument?" Sanae turned towards Reimu, smiling sheepishly.

As she playfully pulled a strand of Reimu's hair from out her face, Reimu noticed the firelight illuminating Sanae's rosy pink cheeks, her reddened eyes, her adorable, fun smile despite the fact she had been crying with such hurt just moments earlier. Sanae's long, green hair shimmered in the night's breeze, strands appearing to glow a golden yellow in the light of fire.

Reimu's eyes widened, her face increasingly red. Actually, come to think of it she  _had_  been thinking about Sanae a lot lately. And now that she had said it out loud, now that Sanae was here and she was looking at her, she couldn't help but think about Sanae even more! How sweet her voice was, how soft her skin was, how gorgeous she was, Reimu hadn't really thought about 'her type' in a while, but sort-of-serious taller girls with long hair, that was 'her type' wasn't it? Had Sanae always been-

"Reimu?" said Sanae's slightly cracked voice as she raised an eyebrow and smirked, very attractively, at the other shrine maiden's blank-faced staring. Reimu shook her head as she snapped back to reality, accompanied by a sudden urge to wrap her arms around Sanae's neck. So she did that, of course.

"R-Reimu!?" Sanae's expression melted into redness again, her mouth wobbling, as she held her hands against Reimu's shoulders to keep her from getting too close. "H-how drunk  _are_  you?"

"Y'know what?" a delighted, blushed-smile spread across Reimu's face as she clung to Sanae's shoulders. "I just realised you're the kind of cute that makes me want to kiss you!"

A little bubble in Sanae's head went 'pop', and redness no longer did justice to the intense flustering she was experiencing. "A-ah, ah, ah, ah!" Sanae stuttered. "W-wait, wait, are you c-c, confes-, no, there's no way, you're kissing, uh, k-kidding, right!?" she continued to hold Reimu's very eager, drunk face at bay as she tried to wrap her mind around what exactly was happening.

"Sanaaee, I wanna kiss you! Your cute face!" Reimu tried to push closer to Sanae in a very much un-majestic way. "I really like you in the 'I want to kiss you' kinda way, I think!?"

"Ahahahahaha, ahaha, ahhh!!" Sanae couldn't help but giggle, awkwardly but genuinely, at Reimu's complete lack of composure, and the green-head found it impossible to keep this big stupid grin off her beet-red face. "R-Reimu, my head feels like it's about to explode!? I-I... uhm...!" in a moment somewhere between panic and composure, Sanae pulled Reimu into a hug over her shoulder rather than letting Reimu get at her face.

"Do you... not wanna kiss me?"

"I-it's not that!" Sanae blurted out, before slapping herself on the forehead in embarrassment. "It's just that, uh, you being this drunk... it's so unromantic, and it's uh, it doesn't feel right, right?"

"Mmmph." Reimu mumbled irritably, but her drunkenness made Sanae's amazing-smelling shoulders and hair feel way too comfortable. This was a frustratingly Sanae-way to turn down a kiss... but this hug definitely softened the blow. "You got a stick up your butt still."

"Tch." a grimace briefly snuck into Sanae's goofy smile as she hugged Reimu's head. Reimu was an absolute mess... but it was nice. And stupid though this situation was, Sanae felt... well, she thought maybe she could salvage it.

"Hey, Reimu..."

"Yeah..."

"I'll come visit the shrine again next week... s-so... if you still want to, ask me to kiss you again then, okay?"

"Ugh... what the hell..." Reimu clung a little tighter to Sanae, clutching the backs of her robes in her fingers, but she seemed to be finding it increasingly difficult to keep her eyes open. "F-fine..."

Sanae gave Reimu a gentle squeeze back, before edging away from the hug and ruffling the other shrine maiden's hair. "A week from today, got it? You'll have plenty of time to think about it." she placed her hands over Reimu's once more before letting go and turning to leave.

"But, you'd better be sober!" she briefly turned around and winked.

Maybe it was the hug, maybe it was the overwhelming hot feeling in her head, maybe it was how gorgeous and reliable Sanae looked with her back silhouette illuminated by fire and the moon... but Reimu's mouth hung open, unable to argue.

In the warm light of the fire, and the deep, pink and stressed stupor their faces shared, the red-white and blue-green shrine maidens both looked very red as they parted ways that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it begins! after an awkward first chapter, expect things to be a total mess from here on out!
> 
> Some people can probably tell, but this chapter is based around the aftermath of th14 and is set around the time of Wild and Horned Hermit 19. If you haven't read that chapter of WaHH, I recommend it! Not just because it gives this chapter more context, but because it's one of the most entertaining Sanae-focused chapters of WaHH so far.
> 
> Anyway, writing more of Reimu and Sanae's dynamic was tons of fun. That's why I'm writing this story, after all!  
> Things start to get REALLY fluffy in the next chapter. It will be up the week after next, once my Yukari-focused story is finished.
> 
> \----------------------  
> Glossary:  
> menreiki - a youkai composed of Gigaku masks. Gigaku was an old drama-dance performed with masks. In Touhou, menreiki are a type of tsukumogami.  
> tsukumogami - a type of youkai born from a tool or object that has been inhabited by one of Shinto's myriad gods  
> inchling - A species of tiny people from Japanese folklore  
> miko - literally means 'shrine maiden'


	3. Crush her in your arms

" _Aaaaagh_!! What was I _thinking_!?" Sanae screamed into a pillow a few nights later.

For a couple of days, the fake confidence and swagger she had shown in the face of Reimu's confession lingered. It was something she was proud of. She had handled it so expertly! She hadn't shot Reimu down completely, but had also manoeuvred away from having her first kiss taken by someone who was drunk! Maybe the invitation to try again would even make things even more romantic next time?

But... that confidence faded. Because, god, what kind of unreasonable request is that!? Reimu wanted to kiss, then and there! For all Sanae knew, Reimu had taken that as an outright rejection... maybe Reimu was really angry about it. Maybe Reimu never actually liked Sanae at all, and it was just the booze talking.

In fact, Reimu  _had_  just previously said Sanae was annoying, hadn't she... what if Reimu was just trying to make Sanae feel better by flirting like that? What if the truth was that Reimu only wanted to kiss Sanae because Sanae looked desperate and Reimu really did just find her annoying? And now Sanae had bothered her, by pushing her into some stupid meeting to talk about a stupid kiss that Reimu probably didn't even actually want!?

"This... is why... I  _hate_  alcohol!!" Sanae moaned with building exasperation, tears welling in her eyes as she tossed over onto her back. She stared at the various posters of characters from Outside World anime, games and dramas tacked neatly and orderly to her walls. Romance suddenly felt a lot more stressful and messy than most of her childhood indulgences had led her to believe...

"But I didn't even do anything!" she heard Suwako call from the next room.

"Not you!!" Sanae called back, deciding that maybe moaning into her pillow was better than moaning into the air after all, and flopping over onto her front again.

But now her pillow was damp... and her pillow being damp meant she was crying, and her crying meant she was really worried about this, that this was really important to her, and suddenly her years of wondering ' _do I like Reimu in that way, or do I just really want to be her friend?_ ' came rushing back into her head, and suddenly it seemed like she really, really wanted to kiss Reimu too, to be kissed by Reimu, to feel love and comfort from the person whose presence she felt comfort in.

Reimu was really cute, after all. She was beautiful. She danced and fluttered through wave after wave of impenetrable bullet curtains like it was nothing. She blended into nature and the supernatural like it was second nature. Even seeing her as a moron drunk didn't change Sanae's mind about any of that.

Sanae's mind raced into overthinking-mode as it so often did, and before she knew it she was weakly whimpering frustrated and vulnerable tears into the pillow she hugged.

"D- _dammit_..." she hiccuped.

Air. She needed air.

Sanae flopped over onto her back again and breathed in between whimpers. This weird, frustrating, non-physical aching feeling in her heart was so annoying... it had never gotten this bad before. She held her hand to her chest and breathed in deeply, trying to see if the feeling would calm. Nope.

"You okay in there, sweetie?" she heard Kanako's voice smoothly call in from the door.

"Y-yeah!" Sanae's croaked voice called back in between sobs. Very convincing. She held her arms over her eyes... she was beginning to feel a little ridiculous, and she thought those two would probably think she was being ridiculous too if they had any idea-...

... Sanae's self-depreciative thoughts were interrupted, as she heard Kanako and Suwako muttering to each other outside the door.

"...Girl troubles, I think." came Suwako's voice

"Something like that..."

"I bet you remember all about what that's like, huh?"

"Aren't you getting us mixed up?"

"Nuh-uh, I seem to recall you falling hopelessly for me."

"Pretty sure that was you..." Kanako's voice trailed with a gentle chuckle as they moved their banter towards the living room, leaving Sanae in peace.

Come to think of it, their relationship had started in a  _really_  messy way hadn't it... with an actual full blown war, or something.

Her arms still over her eyes, Sanae couldn't help but giggle in between sniffs and whimpers as she thought about how Kanako and Suwako were always like that nowadays... bantering and teasing each other in such endeared and completely trusting tones. Somehow, it was enough to make her feel that even though her heart ached now, the future was still pretty exciting...

It didn't matter how much her heart hurt now, or how scared she was. One way or another, she would just have to drudge up her trusted 'fake-confidence' and face the coming days... face Reimu.

Sanae was good at setting herself goals and targets... so even though she dreaded it right now, by the end of the week it would be over.

One way or another, she'd have her answer.

* * *

A whole week... Sanae had really made her wait a whole week for the outcome to something she'd done while she was drunk. And it wasn't like Reimu didn't like Sanae... being drunk was a surprisingly good catalyst for realisations like that.

Once the realisation had hit, that was it. No questions; Reimu had a crush on Sanae. Sanae was adorable. Sanae was her type, absolutely. It wasn't that complicated at all. Admitting that to herself was easy, it was everything else that was hard.

Reimu had no regrets, for once. No. What she  _did_  kind of resent was that she had to have developed feelings for someone who was such a pain in the butt. I mean, for god's sake... wasn't this kind of unreasonable? A whole week!?

Today made one week exactly since the day of the party, and Reimu - entirely unsure on when exactly Sanae would visit - had been up, restless, since the crack of dawn.

She tried to relax. She tried to lay down on the shrine's walkway and laze about all day, but the wind was getting chillier as autumn drew on... Relaxing should have made the wait easier, right? Wrong. In trying to keep her mind off how badly she still wanted to kiss Sanae, Reimu ended up... cleaning, of all things.

Sweeping the leaves, dusting the donations box, picking up the sake bottles and snacks still strewn about the shrine, changing her bedding, even polishing some of her shrine's holy objects and her yin-yang orbs. Why was Sanae taking so long!?

Actually, Reimu was surprised by how much cleaning she had gotten done by midday, just because she was so determined to distract herself from that horrible series of knots in her stomach. Or that unfamiliar, longing ache in her heart.

Reimu stood outside, sweeping over a pile of leaves she could have sworn she had already swept. Her heart felt like it clenched again as the vague, drunken memory of Sanae's tear-soaked cheeks flashed into her mind again. It had been kind of haunting her, because of how bad it made her feel and how badly it made her want to hold Sanae still. She breathed in, really deeply, and sighed. Out of habit, she darted her eyes in front of the shrine and-

Oh! Someone was coming!! She could see a spec, someone was definitely on their way.

"If that's Marisa I'm gonna beat the crap out've her." Reimu mumbled aloud as her eyes lidded and she grit her teeth. Not because Marisa had done anything wrong, but because anyone else but Sanae arriving today would probably give her a migraine.

Reimu squinted, holding her hand over her eyes to shield it from the sun... the colours were too light for that to be Marisa... y-yeah!

Sanae! It was Sanae! Reimu jolted in the spot and rushed to find somewhere to put down her broom. Her head suddenly felt boiling hot but she was still completely ignorant to how red her face had gotten.

Oh, but what should she say? She hadn't even really thought about it... should she get mad at Sanae for making her wait a week? Should she say right away that she still wants to kiss? Should she wait for Sanae to say something first? Maybe wait for Sanae to flirt or hint that she would be okay with it? Oh gods, this suddenly felt a whole lot more confusing. Why did Sanae have to make things so confusing just by... being Sanae.

Reimu tried to act casual... she stood near the bottom of the steps to her shrine building, kicking a pebble or something under her feet as Sanae landed, her boots gently tapping to the top of the stairway to the shrine grounds.

In comparison, Sanae had been thinking... a lot. About what to say. Now that she was here though, looking at Reimu from across the courtyard... she still wasn't sure what to do. She briefly held her fists defensively at her chest... but then she stood up straight. She slipped her fake confidence on like a glove, and began to march towards Reimu.

Reimu noticed Sanae striding towards her. Initially she had planned to wait for her by the shrine, but suddenly the courtyard seemed pretty huge... so she decided to start walking towards Sanae, too.

Actually, what the hell. Now that Reimu's pride had fallen so low that she had already started walking, she may as well speed things up. Reimu began to walk more briskly towards Sanae.

' _O-oh, that's weird,_ ' Sanae thought. Suddenly her confidence failed her as she noticed Reimu walking towards her more quickly. Sanae found herself getting caught up in Reimu's pace and her own pace picked up too, in fact before she knew it she had broken into a light jog.

' _Sh-she... she wants to see me!!_ ' they both thought.

Suddenly, in that moment, both of their inhibitions slipped away and this was the _only_ thing that mattered to either of them. Reimu's brisk walk became a run, then Sanae broke into a run, then Reimu subconsciously held out her arms, then suddenly that long drawn out approach became-.

 _Thump_.

The two crashed into a hug, gripping each other tightly in their arms. They hadn't really been thinking, it just happened. Like they saw each other running and this was the natural conclusion.

"D-do you-" Reimu blurted out without thinking, breathing a little heavily from the running as she indulged in the warmth of Sanae's arms and chest.

"Y-yeah," Sanae quickly breathed out as she regained her own breath, gripping the backs of Reimu's clothes in her fingers. Hastily taking Reimu's bright red face as an invitation and without waiting another second, she pushed her lips into Reimu's.

"Mm!" Reimu yelped, because she just realised that she had only really had drunken kisses before and this was probably the first kiss she was supposed to take seriously, but it wasn't like she would have been able to wait either, and-

"Mm..." both Reimu and Sanae breathed heavily out of their noses as their lips relaxed into each other. Their arms comfortably slumping into each others' bodies. It was like a huge, absurd tension had just been lifted out of the air. A thread that had been holding on and aching to snap for years had finally been cut cleanly with a pair of new scissors.

Oh geez, Sanae needed air and she wasn't about to embarrassingly suck on Reimu's lip while gasping for air, so she pulled back. Reimu evidently needed air too, so she was upset but grateful for the kiss to be broken.

Both of them held each other, breathing heavily as they stared awkwardly but indulgently at each others' adorable reddened faces, their slightly damp eyes.

"Again?" Sanae assertively asked, once she had finally gotten her breath back. It had only been about ten seconds of breathing, but it felt like an eternity.

"Yeah." Reimu threw her arms around the slightly taller girl's head, pulling her face into her own this time and pressing their lips together tightly. Sanae squeezed her arms around Reimu's lower torso and relaxed into Reimu's grip, tensions flooding out of her mind and her heart more and more easily with every second the two were connected at the lips like this.

Was it really this easy? Years of stupid arguments, anxieties, tensions and clashes suddenly felt like they had been unravelled from both the girls' minds and set aside in favour of something that felt so right, a fantastical relief that neither of them could put into words.

Sanae tilted her head and sighed deeply, indulging herself in the feeling of being held so tightly by the object of her affections, while Reimu hungrily kissed and pecked at her crush's cute lips, stroking her soft face, her luscious long hair.

A brief second to stop as the two opened their eyes again and beheld each others' goofy, smiling faces - a sign that it was welcome, right? Sanae couldn't keep away and pushed her face into Reimu's again, this time resting her arms flirtily around Reimu's neck and leaning her chest into Reimu's more.

Reimu responded to Sanae's assertiveness by squeezing Sanae so much that the surprisingly strong shrine maiden almost lifted her rival from the ground for a moment. This, coupled with Reimu playfully and affectionately nibbling at Sanae's bottom lip while they kissed, made Sanae giggle and lean in all the more heavily.

God, that adorable delighted giggle of hers' drove Reimu nuts. It made her want to keep Sanae all to herself! It was unreasonable how ridiculously she was enjoying this, did it always feel this good to kiss a crush? To be kissed by a crush?

That said... after they had kissed for a while, things admittedly started to feel awkward again. Their heads were too hot, their jaws ached slightly, their mouths actually felt a little dry.

But... it was kind of a nice awkwardness. The two held each other in their arms possessively, and upon looking at each others' beet-red and extremely satisfied faces they couldn't help but giggle and laugh together. 'Elated' was the only way to describe how they felt, to briefly look in each others' eyes and feel complete confidence that such a strong display of affection was totally mutual.

But that brief confidence really was... brief.

"S-so uh... What now?" Sanae eventually asked, her eyelids flickering as she averted eye-contact. Doubt quietly crept into her mind again, the moment she considered the possibility that Reimu just wanted to kiss and... nothing more.

Still, she couldn't help but lean her hot forehead haplessly on Reimu's as she said it.

Reimu's arms were still slung gently around Sanae's back, but her own eyes flickered away as she noticed Sanae awkwardly break eye-contact.

"I'd, uh... I want a drink." Reimu's very dry-feeling mouth subconsciously pleaded.

Reimu didn't even look at Sanae, but her hot silence told Reimu that Sanae was probably pouting. Seriously??

"O-of tea!! Even  _I_  don't drink alcohol this early in the day!"

"O-oh... sorry." Sanae laughed awkwardly. "Are you sure you don't-"

"Shhh!" Reimu gently headbutted Sanae and pouted herself. "I'm going to make you tea, s-so come have some, okay?"

Sanae couldn't help but rest her head against Reimu's for a few moments. "Okay... I'd love that."

Grinning, Reimu sheepishly but eagerly took Sanae's nervous hand in her own, and tugged her in the direction of the shrine.

......

There was a downside to having a new favourite person. Actually, there were a lot of downsides.

Around a week and a half later, and Reimu and Sanae had only been able to see each other a couple more times. It wasn't from lack of trying either, that was just what it meant when one of you was a workaholic who lived on top of a dangerous mountain. It wasn't like Sanae could visit very often, despite how badly she wanted to.

So they dominated each others thoughts, which made Reimu even more lazy, which made Sanae distracted when she wanted to work.

But on the other hand, their desires to share physical affection with each other meant that every time they got to see each other their chemistry was virtually bubbling over.

On this particular autumn afternoon, despite the increasingly chilly breeze, Reimu and Sanae shared a pot of tea together on Hakurei Shrine's walkway. Mostly in silence, but a contented silence.

Sanae set her cup to the side once she finished with it, then turned around and laid her head back into Reimu's lap. Reimu's face flushed red as she coughed on her tea.

"You don't mind, do you?" Sanae giggled awkwardly. Her head was already here on Reimu's lap, but Reimu's reaction made her suddenly very self-conscious about it.

"N-no, it's good! You're good." Reimu grinned through her blushing, and gave Sanae's face a few affectionate pokes. Sanae responded with a sweet smile as she stared up into Reimu's eyes, bringing her hand up to grab at and hold Reimu's tightly.

"Finish your tea before it gets cold." Sanae teased.

"Y-yeah..." Reimu took a swig of tea. "It suddenly feels way hotter out here though." the red-white shrine maiden awkwardly mumbled, as she set her cup aside and took off the thick scarf around her own neck.

Noticing that Sanae was still scarfed, Reimu grinned and plotted her payback. She leant down, brushing her hair from her face and pecked Sanae's forehead as she laid in Reimu's lap.

A delighted pink scattered Sanae's cheeks, but the formidable rival shrine maiden was unperturbed. She took her free hand and tapped her own lips with her index finger, before shutting her eyes expectantly.

Reimu's face reddened further, her mouth becoming wobbly. But how the hell could she say no? She leant her lips down into Sanae's, and Sanae brought her hand up to stroke Reimu's cheek as their lips locked.

Then... another broken kiss, another sweet, mutual smile. Reimu's hand was now gripping Sanae's in return. It was a little clammy in this weather though...

"Hey, you." Sanae lazily hummed as she held Reimu's face.

"H-Hey... I..." Reimu blushed furiously again, blinking. "Ah... d-dammit..." she sighed as she struggled to avoid an awkward laugh and smile. "I-I... I really wish you could visit more..."

An excited grin briefly spread across Sanae's face "W-well maybe soon I c-!" but she stopped herself. "Ah... n-never mind."

"Eh?" Reimu raised an eyebrow. "What were you gonna say?"

"N-nothing! Forget I said anything!" Now it was Sanae's face's turn to go bright red. ' _I can't tell her about the rope-way plan... Lady Kanako might get mad if I tell anyone about it..._ '

She stared at Reimu's face awkwardly as sweat beaded on her forehead. "M-man, you're right, it is pretty hot today huh! Could you uh... let me take my scarf off?"

See, Reimu's hand was clasped around one of Sanae's hands, and Reimu's face was still leant over, inches from Sanae's. It made it a little... difficult, for Sanae to move her head.

Reimu grinned, thoroughly enjoying finally having Sanae flustered even if she still had no idea what Sanae was so worked up about. "I'll get that for you, cutie." She giggled mischievously as she gently tugged the scarf from Sanae's neck, still keeping their faces close together, before planting a few kisses on Sanae's now-bare jaw.

"R-Reimu!!" an increasingly red-faced Sanae stuttered as Reimu kept pecking mercilessly at her face. Within moments though, Sanae was giggling in delight and wrapping her arms around Reimu's neck, which in turn made Reimu giggle even more.

"Aaaaagggh!!  _Holy crap_!!" Came an excited scream-like-yelp from somewhere nearby. This seriously startled Sanae, who made a squeak so impressively high-pitched that it surprised both her and Reimu.

What probably surprised Reimu even more though, was Sanae jumping in shock and smacking their foreheads together.

"Ow ow ow ow ow  _ow ow **owww**_!!" Reimu and Sanae both whimpered as they instinctively clasped their hands to their poor throbbing heads, Reimu jolting to sit up straight.

The same nearby voice then made a loud, snorting noise. "Oh my god, I'm sorry!" Marisa couldn't help but cackle as she floated towards the shrine on her broom. "That looks like it  _really_  hurt!"

"Aaghh what the hell!?" Reimu shouted at Marisa, nursing her forehead, which stung so much it had luckily eclipsed the embarrassment of Marisa seeing her all over Sanae. In the meantime, Sanae was laid on Reimu's lap with her arm over her forehead, groaning weakly.

"What was I s'posed to do?" Marisa shrugged. "Reimu got a girlfriend!! I don't think I've ever been able to say that b'fore!?" she continued excitedly.

Finally calming down a bit, Reimu raised an eyebrow. "Is that what we are? Girlfriends?"

"Uuuugh..." Sanae groaned a little louder as she tried to ignore her stinging head. "U-uhm... I mean, I'd like to say so? If that's okay?" she giggled awkwardly, staring up at Reimu with an adorably sheepish smile.

Catching a glimpse of Sanae's hopeful smile in between looking at Marisa's grin made Reimu's heart race, and she couldn't help but pinch Sanae's cheek. "Of course it is, stupid!" she turned to Marisa with a grin. "Yeah, we're girlfriends."

"Yes!!" Sanae couldn't help but exclaim excitedly aloud, her voice cracking into a slight squeak. Getting caught up in the moment and at how cute she was, Reimu bent down to kiss her on the face again.

"Yy _ess_!!" Marisa almost echoed Sanae's excitement. "We can finally go on double dates and stuff!"

Reimu's excitement faded and she raised an eyebrow at Marisa. "That uh... that doesn't sound that fun. Who are you even dating at the moment?"

Marisa's jaw dropped in shock at Reimu's rudeness. "The hell!? How could you forget I was dating-"

"O-oh shit!" Sanae jolted to sit upright, then clapped her hands to her mouth once she realised she'd used an expletive.

"It's fine. Swear all you want I don't care." Reimu chuckled and stroked Sanae's hair affectionately. "She's totally cute, right?" she said aside to Marisa. Marisa merely replied with an approving thumbs up.

"U-uhm!" Sanae stood up straight and looked at the sky. "God, Reimu. I'm so sorry but I just realised the time, and I have a _lot_ of work to do this evening!"

Reimu's posture noticeably deflated. "Man... this sucks. It feels like you only just got here..." she pouted very visibly, which made Sanae giggle but smile sadly.

"Don't catch a cold without me around, okay?" Sanae picked Reimu's scarf from the boarding and wrapped it back around Reimu's neck again. She closed her eyes and pulled the tails of the scarf towards herself, locking lips with Reimu once more. Reimu gripped Sanae's clothing possessively for just a moment... a long, warm moment that was still over far too quickly.

"See you soon, my girlfriend~." Sanae purred, pinching Reimu's cheek affectionately before standing up to leave. The combination of Sanae's affection and the warm scarf made Reimu melt on the spot.

"See you later too, Marisa!" Sanae grinned and waved at the blonde magician, before hovering into the air and flying away home.

"Later, girl!" Marisa waved back cheerfully as she strolled up to where Reimu was sat and gave her a hearty slap on the back. "Yo Reimu, you alive in there?"

A few dreamy bubbles popped in Reimu's brain and she snapped back to reality. "Uhuh."

Marisa grinned widely and ruffled her friend's hair. "Holy crap, you really,  _really_  like her, don't you!? You're like, fully smitten! I've never seen you like this b'fore!"

Reimu, still slightly in a daze, awkwardly scratched her cheek. "I think so? Is having a girlfriend always like this?"

"Sometimes, 'specially in that honeymoon phase when it first starts. It's a great feeling huh? Like... There's almost nothing else like that elated rush you get with another person like that." Marisa rested her cheeks in her hands and smiled as her own face took a light pink. "And the harder the feeling gets to describe 'n' the longer it lasts, the more people start t' call it 'love' instead."

Reimu's face reddened as she suddenly felt a little overwhelmed. "I uh... I dunno. Even using that word sounds like a huge commitment."

Sensing Reimu's awkwardness, Marisa huffed and changed the subject slightly. "Aanyway... what about that whole 'treat everyone in Gensokyo equally' thing? Is that gonna be a problem?" she asked curiously.

Reimu shrugged. "Not really. If Sanae ever actually became a threat to Gensokyo maybe I'd have to kill her, but she won't so it's fine."

Marisa snorted, then broke into a laugh. "You really  _are_  the perfect person for this job, y'know!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Reimu smirked and gently batted Marisa on the back of her large black hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to keep you all waiting so long! Here it is, the FLUFF CHAPTER.  
> If it wasn't obvious... I really, really like this pairing. This chapter was really fun and indulgent to write, so I hope it fills you with warm feelings like it did for me.
> 
> You won't have to wait long for the next chapter either! Chapter 4 should be up next Monday. Then that'll be the main bulk of the story over. I really love the next chapter too, I cried a bit while writing it so you know it'll be good.
> 
> After that though, I plan on going on hiatus for a month or so, just so I can recharge a bit before NaNoWriMo..
> 
> As a sort of apology for that, I'll hopefully be uploading something related to A World Without You next week too, just as a thank you for all the amazing support that story has gotten over the last 5 months.
> 
> \--------------------------  
> Glossary:  
> fluff - this!


	4. 1cc

 

> **(2015)**

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

Sanae gripped one of the wooden pillars along Hakurei Shrine's outer walkway. She leant into it and grasped it more tightly. Just... making sure it was still there. She took in the autumn's tranquil night breeze, but her eyes remained transfixed on the sky.

Had the moon  _always_  looked that big?

She kept almost forgetting there was anything else in the sky besides that. The moon. That huge, shining orb. Everything... everything about it felt different now, just looking at it made her eyes feel like they were pounding in place.

Sanae stared, unblinking, up at its intense glow. She took it in, feeling it grow in her eyes, bigger, bigger, dominating her vision-

Thud thud thud  _thud THUD THUD_. "I-I gotta go! I'm sorry, I can't just wait around here doing nothing!"

Sanae jumped in shock, her hand jerking to her heart as it threatened to jump straight out of her chest. As she span around, a blur of light-purple hair sped past her out of the shrine and towards the steps.

"Wait!" a black-haired girl robed in red and white sped after her - ah right, Reimu. "You're not 'doing nothing', you're  _resting_! You should really  _try it sometime!!_ " she shouted after the purple-haired rabbit girl in exasperation.

"How am I supposed to r-relax after all that!? I just, I really gotta get back, I'm sorry!" the rabbit apologised again as she darted off and flew into the night.

"Aggh geez..." Reimu rubbed the back of her head irritably, but her expression softened when she noticed Sanae was out there too. "Oh... hey you." she huffed, smiling sheepishly as she approached Sanae. "Can't sleep either?"

Sanae's eyes fluttered away from Reimu and she stared at the ground. "H-hey..." she leant back against the wooden pillar, awkwardly clasping her hands together. "Yeah, more or less... Reisen seemed especially on edge though."

"Y-yeah." Reimu rubbed the back of her head again and frowned a little. "I thought after what just happened she could do with a break, it's not like that lot at Eientei would get mad at her for resting for a single night."

"Mm..." Sanae looked away from Reimu, in the direction Reisen flew. "They do seem a little scary... I'm sure she appreciated your gesture, though."

"Ahh, whatever." Reimu leant on the shrine's wall and faced Sanae. "So uh... you thinking of going home too?"

"Mm mm." Sanae shook her head. "I can take my time with my report... I think for now, Lady Kanako and Lady Suwako are just relieved I'm alive." there was an awkward pause for a few moments, before Sanae attempted to drum up more conversation. "Is Marisa asleep then?"

"Yeah, she's out like a light." Reimu chuckled, to which Sanae couldn't help but giggle too. "I'm not surprised" Sanae responded "She's really amazing. Both of you..."

Sanae flashed a weak smile at Reimu, who smiled wistfully back. "How about you, Reimu... you can't sleep either?"

"Uh?" Reimu, seemingly distracted, tilted her head in thought as she processed the question. "No no, I doubt I'd have trouble sleeping, I'd just rather make sure everyone else is okay before I do."

"R-Reimu..." Sanae mumbled, looking sadly at the ground. Her hands appeared jittery and restless.

Noticing this, Reimu sat at the side of the walkway and patted the floor next to her. "Wanna sit?"

Without saying anything, Sanae joined her. The green-head awkwardly and assertively took Reimu's hand in her own. Both girls stared unblinking at the moon in silence, but Sanae could tell that grabbing Reimu's hand had made her smile a little - as Reimu gripped Sanae's hand back.

"You know..." Sanae finally started speaking. "Last time you and Marisa went to the moon... with that vampire woman? I was so, so jealous." she leant back a little onto her free hand, looking up at the stars with a little less fear and a little more excitement. "I've always loved space... I guess that's another way I'm like you and Marisa. Space missions, rockets, NASA, I love it all. It's incredible..." she leant forward and sleepily reached out to the stars with her free hand.

Reimu stared dreamily at Sanae as she spoke, then huffed. "It was cool, but it kinda sucked too. I ended up feeling kinda like the bad guy, so you didn't miss much." she awkwardly swayed her legs off the side of the walkway. "Those Lunarians are always so insufferable though... in most of the incidents involving them they've somehow been victims, but they still look down on us all with such disgust. So, it was actually way cooler this time!" Reimu grinned at the green-head. "We got to show those Lunarians that they'd have been hopeless without us 'pathetic' humans, and one of their own ex-soldiers!"

"Ehehehe..." Sanae awkwardly giggled and smiled weakly. "It really was amazing to turn my head and just see Earth... just... there. And nothing else around us but blackness. B-but..." she gripped Reimu's hand a little tighter. "I was kinda unprepared for how scary it actually was. How lonely it was up there, even though the four of us were together." she bit on her quivering lip.

"At first I thought we'd be totally fine without the Ultramarine Orb Elixir, b-but once we actually got there the weight of everything really started to hit me. H-how just one false step and one of us might have really d-died. Or the Lunar Capital could have destroyed Gensokyo, or-or... well, it just felt like something truly horrible would happen if we failed."

Reimu said nothing, she just stared at Sanae with an expression reeking of heartache.

"Th-that's why I'm... hahh..." Sanae stuttered, finally turning towards Reimu again and smiling weakly. "I'm really glad you held my hand back then, at the Sea of Tranquillity. I felt like I was about to break from fear, but you kept me together. Th-thank you..."

Reimu's expression relaxed into a wonky smile and her face pinkened. She briefly recalled seeing Sanae's hands shaking with worsening intensity, and how badly she had wanted to help her calm down. "Ahh it just... felt like the right thing to do, I guess."

Sanae nodded. "Mm, mm! You helped me to stay strong and confident, and I really appreciated it." she looked back out towards Hakurei Shrine's sea of trees, which danced calmly in the night breeze as autumn leaves sporadically dropped from them. "I... saw how scared Reisen was, and I just really wanted to be strong for her. I couldn't imagine being in her shoes, you know? A refugee soldier having to save her old home, even though she resents it so much. I felt like she, more than anyone else, needed strength and support from the rest of us."

"You didn't have to do that though." Reimu pouted weakly. "You're allowed to be scared, both you _and_ Reisen."

"I-I know..." Sanae furrowed her brow in frustration, gripping Reimu's hand harder, her own hand now a little clammy. "I dunno. Maybe wanting to be strong for someone else helped me to keep it together too. A-and seeing you and Marisa, of course... seeing you two in action, I always feel like I have to do my best so I don't let you down."

Reimu grinned, almost proud. "When I know I have to win, I don't feel scared because I just know I'll win. If that helps to give others strength too, that's simply a bonus. Some people call it 'luck', but..." she trailed off.

She leant back a little, shooting a glance towards the shrine building. "As for Marisa... if she ever gets scared, she just uses that fear to fuel and motivate herself until she's too strong to be scared anymore. Every challenge in Marisa's life is just another obstacle to be overcome." she smiled even more proudly.

"Seriously." Sanae giggled a little more heartily to herself, her expression lighting up as Reimu and Marisa made being almost superhuman sound so easy. "You two really are incredible."

"Uh... th-thanks..." Reimu rubbed the back of her head. "You are too, though."

Blink. Blink blink. Sanae stared wide-eyed at Reimu, a light pink dusting her cheeks. "H-huh?"

"You're amazing, Sanae." Reimu said plainly, "We really couldn't have done it without you."

Sanae's expression lit up, her body feeling a wonderful warmth from Reimu's praise.

_'W-wow, y-you're really good at this...'  
'I know. It seems like you aren't, though.'_

_'... But.... You definitely could be!'_

Sanae beamed at Reimu, her face reddening further as she remembered how far she had come since she first arrived in Gensokyo. She tightened her grip on Reimu's hand in her elation. Seeing Sanae's adorable smile, Reimu's heart melted. She returned Sanae's smile with her own, awkward smile and red face.

But neither of them knew what to say... and eventually, they both started staring at the moon again - this time with contented smiles on their faces.

Silence fell. An awkward silence. Their clammy hands let go of one another as the grip became uncomfortable, but within seconds their hands sought each other out again and clasped together more comfortably. Feeling the reassuring grip of the other's hand was something they desperately needed at that time.

For... many reasons.

In reaction to a particularly tight squeeze from Sanae's hand, Reimu giggled and the silence was broken. "I hope you know that how tightly you clutched onto my hand up there hurt way more than anything the enemy did to me." she grinned.

But Sanae's smile faded, her heart sinking.

Reimu noticed this and sweat quickly beaded on her face. "I-I meant physically! You clutched so tight that it was physically painful, you know?" she blurted out in panic. She really  _had_  meant physically, but Sanae's expression had made her realise it could be taken... another way.

"We never got hit..." Sanae frowned. "None of us got hit even once, so of course they didn't hurt you."

Reimu felt her heart clenching. She took a deep, pained breath in and sighed, but struggled to keep her eyes from Sanae. "L-look... I was trying to lighten the mood, but I guess I'll admit that much, yeah."

Sanae's eyes avoided contact with Reimu and she bit her lip, though her thumb still subconsciously rubbed Reimu's palm.

"I uh..." Reimu breathed in again. "There was loads going through my mind then, and I guess it hurt in other ways too. Not just because of... you know. But because I was actually, really scared that if something went wrong I could really lose you. O-or Marisa, or Reisen, b-but you know..."

Sanae wistfully nodded. "Yeah, I know." she shuffled her butt a little closer to Reimu and leaned her head a little towards Reimu's with a weak smile. "I thought about a lot of things too... like, how meeting Junko made me realise that heartbreak and loneliness can completely ruin someone's life... even their afterlife."

She giggled awkwardly and brought her other hand to hold Reimu's too. She played with Reimu's fingers in her hands and stared at them, still avoiding eye-contact. "Seeing that, being faced with the possibility, the reality of death... it made me want to live  _my_  life to the fullest. I've been so naive, you know? Even as a half-god, the life right in front of me is still the only one I've got."

"S-so... you... uh, I mean-..." Reimu's eyes fluttered hopeful glances at Sanae as she fumbled her words, her face reddening.

Sanae nodded meekly, squeezing Reimu's hand in both of hers' possessively. "I-I uh... I'd like to give 'us', another go."

Warmth filled Reimu's heart and she brought her free hand to her chest, breathing out heavily as the tension in her lungs was replaced with relief. Without really thinking, she leant her head towards Sanae's, as if desperate to be physically close to her.

... But Sanae pulled her head away from Reimu's slightly, an irritated smile on her face. "But! Guess what!"

"Y-you're... still mad?" Reimu pouted so much her head looked like it was inflating, nonsensical grumbling escaping quietly from her mouth.

"That's right!!" Sanae's voice escalated "I still can't believe you  _actually_  dumped me just because I wouldn't stop my ‘preachy act’!?"

Reimu averted her eyes from Sanae, almost scowling. "Yeah, 'cause I don't like it and you weren't stopping. A-and then, even when I said sorry and wanted to try again you still wouldn't take me back!! So what changed, huh!?"

Sanae drew her face further from Reimu's and let go of Reimu's hand. She gripped her knees in her hands and took a deep, sharp breath in. "The reason you dumped me was unreasonable. And you never, really seriously made it up to me. Or even really tried.”

Reimu opened her mouth to argue again, but Sanae held her finger out and continued. “It almost started to feel like you only wanted to date me for the physical affection... like there was nothing there besides finding each other cute. I started to realise we never actually like... talked. Or really got to know each other. At all."

"W-wh..." Reimu's eyes widened, as if hit by some kind of realisation herself. "Oh, man..."

"You see what I mean, now?" Sanae smiled sheepishly at Reimu again. "You almost never talk about yourself, Reimu... so even if you want to see the real me, I-I..."

"Y-you never felt like you got to see the real me either?" Reimu's expression deflated as she slumped over.

"Yeah..." Sanae finally reached for Reimu's hand again, absentmindedly playing with her fingers again. "So, I never know if your apologies are genuine, or if anything would even change... if we'd just go back to kissing and cuddling but never actually talking. And I'd be 'fake' again, and you'd dump me on a whim again..."

Reimu frowned, admittedly a little annoyed at Sanae's criticism... even though she wasn't wrong. "I'm honest!" she brought her other hand to clasp back at Sanae's in earnest "You  _know_  that I'm honest! That's one thing I'm good at, so when I apologise I mean it!"

"I-I know... and I'm sorry that I find it so hard to trust people, including you... But that's just one of the many reasons I wish I knew you better."

"Uugh..." Reimu whimpered. "I-I'm... bad at talking about myself. I just really don't like it."

"And that's okay! I don't want to force you to do anything you don't like..." Sanae gave Reimu's hand a small, awkward squeeze. "But when I think about you... even now, I still feel like I really do want to know everything about you. I mean I've always... well, you're cute, you're beautiful!" she giggled. "Like, you're really physically attractive to me. But beyond that, I feel like I want you to be someone who's really, really special to me... so if you're willing to at least try, for me... I'll be as patient as it takes."

Reimu stayed silent for a few moments as her face reddened again. She defensively took her hands back and awkwardly fiddled with them as she thought.

"Th-then... if I try... will you try to be honest with me more often too?" Reimu looked to Sanae again, with a more stern expression. "I don't want you to pretend you're okay when you're not. I don't want you to pretend you got over me when you clearly didn't... S-Sanae I... I really, really want to know everything about you too. So maybe if you can do that for me then... I-I dunno."

Reimu, evidently anxious about the whole opening up thing, still anxiously fiddled with her hands. But she stayed sat, and subconsciously leant her weight towards Sanae.

Even if Sanae didn't know Reimu as well as she would have liked... she still knew Reimu well enough to know what this peculiar and unusual behaviour meant.

And wow, this was... really important to her. Something Reimu... actually cared about. A lot. Reimu  _really_  cared about doing this right!

Sanae took in a deep breath, filling her lungs with confidence.

"A-all right." Sanae nodded stiffly, gulping. She clutched her hands to her heart. "Th-then... while I have your ear, could I vent to you about something... really stupid, that's been bugging me all night?"

Reimu's pout faded, her gaze becoming more serious. She squeezed Sanae's left hand a little tighter. "Sanae... are you okay? Did something happen to you up there?"

"Ehehe..." Sanae laughed awkwardly, averting eye contact. "N-no... I said it was stupid, nothing happened to me... but I want you to promise you won't laugh. Please?"

Reimu's gaze remained transfixed on Sanae. She nodded, slowly, but her expression became a little anxious. "I-I... I promise. I promise."

"Ho-kay...!" Sanae stared at the moon for a few moments, a weak smile on her face. "W-wow... this is hard. How do I even word this?" Sanae forced a laugh again, then took another deep breath in.

"Uhm... so when I was up there... feeling the moon dust on my fingers, seeing the Earth from afar, even seeing the Lunar Capital itself... you wanna know what my  _actual_  first thought was?"

Reimu didn't say anything - but her intent-filled expression was all the confirmation Sanae needed.

Sanae giggled. "I thought... man! Just wait til the girls hear about this!"

"You mean... Kanako and Suwako? Or maybe Sakuya and Youmu?" Reimu tilted her head, a little quizzically.

Sanae looked down at her knees, which swayed gently but awkwardly back and forth. "Ehehe... nope!" she forced a smile. "My first thought... was of some of the girls I used to nerd out about science with, back in the Outside World."

"... At school?" Reimu frowned wistfully. "B-but, you..."

"Y-yeah... I know." Sanae squeezed her knee. "I always said I never hung out with anyone, right? That no one liked me... That's why this is so s-stupid." Sanae bit down on her lip, her voice beginning to quiver slightly.

"I s-suddenly remembered them, up there... How we always got so excited together about space, and stuff... we used to joke about which of us would be the first one to get a job at NASA, or at an international space station, or, well, to go to space!"

The wonder in Sanae’s eyes was almost infectious. Reimu’s eyes widened too, as passion poured forth from Sanae about things, about people, that Reimu had no idea even existed.

"A-and in that brief moment I thought, I really did it! I can't wait to tell them I  _actually_  went to the moon!" she beamed excitedly, before her expression softened "... And that thought was accompanied by this really weird, almost haunting realisation." she fiddled with her hands anxiously, and sat up straighter as her breathing became shaky and jittery.

"I-I uh... I realised th-that for there to be people I looked forward to talking to about my passions... for them to excitedly t-talk to me, as well..."

Sanae's voice cracked... and Reimu bit her own lip in realisation. Tears welled up in Sanae's eyes. She breathed in shakily again, her bottom jaw quivering as she struggled to stay calm.

"Ha... ahahaha..." Sanae hiccuped a laugh, clutching at her chest with her trembling hands, "Th-those girls... liked me. Th-they..." She slouched over, clutching her knees as tears trickled down her cheeks. "...Were my f-... _friends_."

Complicated knots began to build in Reimu's stomach, as she watched Sanae's red, tear-soaked face.

"They _were_ my  _friends_!!" Sanae shouted, her voice escalating as the words broke free from her mind. Her breaths strained, her stomach struggling to hold back whines, the green-haired miko began to meekly weep as vocalising things made her realisation... real.

Sanae buried her face in her hands, her attempts to remain composed finally collapsing as the floodgates opened and tears tumbled down her cheeks.

Reimu's jaw hung open. She held a hand out helplessly above Sanae's shoulder, no idea how to comfort her, no idea what was considerate or kind, terrified that she could somehow make this worse.

"I-I had friends!! I  _had_  friends all along!! A-and I never... I never even realised that's what they were to me until n-now...! Now, that I finally have a bit more confidence in myself..." her cracked voice squeaked as she sobbed into her hands.

"A-and you know what the  _best part_  is?" she meekly turned her head to face Reimu, a pained smile showing through her tears, heartbreak in her eyes.

"I... I n-never... I never got to say goodbye to them...

I never said goodbye to  _anyone_! I-I  _just_...!!" she clutched at her heart more desperately as her posture slumped forwards, her stomach aching from its convulsing sobs. "I just _left_ one day. Disappeared from that world, thinking no one cared! B-but they  _did care! And now I'll n-never see them again!!_ "

Sanae squinted and grimaced at Reimu, struggling to keep her tear-soaked eyes open... "Aha... ahaha... _aaaaaahh_... _!!_ " Her throat gave way, unable to hold back any more. She broke down into tears and screams, clutching her stinging chest in one hand and her aching stomach in the other.

She looked like she was in agony... more pain than Reimu had ever seen her in.

Flashbacks of that night, years ago, played over in her mind. How Reimu had totally botched being emotionally sensitive and made Sanae feel worse. How she made Sanae cry.

Yet here Sanae was... showing her most vulnerable state to Reimu, once again.

Even after everything that had happened between them.

Yeah... but this was _Sanae_. Sanae of all people had chosen Reimu, and no one else, to open her heart to. Probably one of the most beautiful people Reimu had ever met was in pain, right in front of her... and right now, she needed Reimu to be the best Reimu she could possibly be.

Reimu sucked in her determination and sat up straight, before assertively throwing her arms around Sanae's back and pulling the other shrine maiden tightly into her.

Sanae cried loudly into Reimu's robes, clinging her fists to Reimu's arms for security. Reimu wrapped one of her strong, protective arms securely around Sanae's back, while the other cradled her soft green head.

For a few minutes, Sanae sobbed without restraint into Reimu's embrace... but Sanae's desperate clutching for Reimu's warmth convinced Reimu that... even if she couldn't stop Sanae from crying, this was still the right thing to do. This was what Sanae needed right now.

Reimu winced her eyes a little awkwardly as she held Sanae's slumped, sobbing body in her arms. She squeezed Sanae's warm back... rested her nose in Sanae's hair.

"Sanae..." Reimu mumbled out loud. She clutched the other girl tighter in her arms. ' _Sanae... Sanae... I-I want to..._ ' her mind repeated, over and over. She wanted to... something. She wanted so badly to do something. What was she so afraid of?

Reimu opened her eyes to see the muffled fuzz of Sanae's soft, green hair as her hand stroked it. She felt Sanae's face nuzzled helplessly into her collar. And she... felt calm with it. Comfortable, even.

' _Commitment, huh..._ ' Reimu thought as she cuddled Sanae's fragile warmth into hers'. She looked at Sanae's vulnerable head once more... squeezed her once more. Even after Sanae's cries started to calm, the two continued to hold each other.

' _Uggh... What am I doing!? it should be so obvious by now..._ '

"Hey... Sanae?" Reimu mumbled her head against Sanae's as Sanae's breathing started to calm too.

"Y-yeah..." Sanae hiccuped, her arms clinging to Reimu tightly.

"Can you look at me?" Reimu said. She eventually felt Sanae's head nodding in her arms, so she loosened her grip on the other shrine maiden. Sanae meekly sat up and gazed at Reimu through her reddened, tear-soaked eyes.

"Sanae." Reimu clasped her hands to Sanae's shoulders reassuringly, locking her eyes to Sanae's with a steadfast resolve. Sanae's eyes anxiously darted around, avoiding Reimu's glare. "Look at me, Sanae." Reimu repeated, and Sanae finally worked up the courage to train her gaze back to Reimu.

"Listen..." Reimu spoke in a confident, calm tone, despite her own slightly reddened face and damp eyes. "Gensokyo is a land of second chances, right? Not just for gods and youkai, b-but for... people like us."

Sanae slowly nodded as she wiped an arm across her tear-stained face, her mouth hung open weakly. She didn't say anything, she actually looked a little confused...

Reimu breathed in deeply and straightened her back before continuing. "So... why  _don't_  you tell them? We'll send them letters, we can even go back to the moon and get something to show them!

You can tell them everything... you'll  _always_  have that second chance to say goodbye...” she smiled warmly at Sanae “O-or even, 'hello, how have you all been?'!" Reimu giggled awkwardly, as Sanae's red eyes widened in shock.

"C-can... can we really do that?" Sanae forced herself to ask, biting her lip.

"There are ways, of course there are ways!" Reimu grinned confidently, gripping Sanae's shoulders. "That gap lady owes me a few dozen favours so it’s easy for me... and I uh... I want to... f-for you, I mean. You deserve it."

Sanae's eyes lit up, her lips spreading into a genuine smile, energy finally returning to her posture. She nodded enthusiastically. "O-oh Reimu...!" she squealed, throwing her arms around the red-white miko. "I'd... I'd really appreciate that... thank you."

A sweet, fluffy smile spread across Reimu's face... She felt wonderful. Her heart felt light and elated as she ran her hands along Sanae's arms and back...

"B-besides, I uh..." Reimu giggled awkwardly, as just thinking about Sanae's reaction sent warmth flowing through her whole body. "I'm starting to feel like I'd... really do anything for you."

Sanae pulled back from the hug and wiped her eyes again as she stared at Reimu wide-eyed, clasping her hands together excitedly. "Y-you mean...?"

Sanae's hopeful, wide-eyed expression made Reimu turn bright-red, as she realised how much this meant to the green-head, too. Reimu took a deep breath in and shut her eyes, as she tried to compose herself again. "Y-yeah... I'll try."

While Sanae tried to keep a serious expression, unlike Reimu she struggled to hide the fact she was also quite excited. Reimu awkwardly rubbed the back of her head and broke eye contact with Sanae again, looking towards the shrine's moonlit grounds.

Reimu pouted and gripped her arm. She looked to Sanae briefly, as if hoping Sanae would have magically forgotten in the last second or so... no, Sanae continued to glare at her in anticipation. The red miko sighed again... and gave in.

"S-so... about me, huh? Well I-I uhm... I never really knew my family. I guess" Reimu grinned awkwardly, scratching the side of her face.

“Yeah...? Go on?” Sanae teased, eager to not let Reimu get off easy. Reimu sighed but couldn’t help but smile at Sanae’s cute expression as she continued.

"The earliest things I remember are..." her smile flattened into a frown. "A bunch of old ladies... training me, telling me I had a really important job to do... telling me my lineage was important, telling me about all my responsibilities."

Reimu sat back, leaning on one of her hands as her eyes lidded in irritation. "Come to think of it, I can barely even remember their faces! My parents were probably among them, I guess? Maybe... I dunno. And I wouldn't be surprised if some of them were youkai too... heh."

She clenched her knees and grimaced. "I was taught my whole childhood that youkai are the enemy, right? But they've had a direct hand in the Hakurei Shrine and its lineage since the very beginning, probably. I mean, I understand why... it's hard for kids to understand the politics of stuff like that. It's just frustrating, I guess." she mused on.

Sanae's excited expression had softened, her eyes now lit up with fascination instead.

Reimu wasn't looking at Sanae though. She scowled as she glared bitterly at the shrine grounds. "Actually no, it pisses me off. All those faceless people who gave me basic training or guidance and then left me all alone... they  _knew_  I'd be alone. They could have at least told me that it was okay to befriend youkai.. Maybe that way I  _wouldn't_  have been so  _completely_  alone until Marisa came into my life." her voice started to escalate.

' _Completely alone..._ ' Sanae repeated in her head. She wistfully leant her body towards Reimu's and reassuringly ran her own hand along Reimu's arm.

Reimu scrunched her eyes shut and threw her head back. "Aghh! Just thinking about all that again is so unfair! Why the hell would they expect so much of a little kid!? I-I..." her expression softened again, her face pinkened slightly as tears began to well up in the corners of her eyes.

"I-I know it's a running joke among my friends now... friends that I'm really lucky to have..." she smiled briefly before scowling again, "but I used to  _really_  hate it when people called me lazy, or said the shrine was a youkai shrine..." she curled her knees to her body and wrapped her arms around them.

"'C-cus... those people will never, ever know how hard I struggled as a kid. Just to get by. Just to survive! I mean for crying out loud, my only steady companionship as a kid some old turtle, who I could never really depend on for anything besides shrine maiden-related matters!? Then the moment I could fly by myself, poof, he left me too!! Was all that some kinda sick joke!?"

"Reimu..." Sanae hummed, giving her arm a squeeze.

But Reimu kept talking, as if some seal inside her had been broken open after years of being shut. "And I know  _now_  that I wasn't alone all that time! I realised eventually, when  _I_  got more smart, when  _ **I**_  was already a teenager who had learnt by  ** _necessity_**  to take care of herself, that sneaky youkai had been helping me all along. But y'know what?” Reimu grit her teeth, an almost furious scowl building in her eyes “In retrospect, that realisation didn't change a  _damn_   _ **thing**!!_ "

She gripped her own elbows tightly, her nails scratching into her skin as tears began to trickle from her eyes. "Fairies... tengu... kappa...  _sages_... it doesn't matter to me how many of them thought they were helping by giving me the odd donation, making sure I had food when I was near starvation, keeping would-be attackers at bay when I was t-too weak to defend myself...!" Reimu leant her face into her knees as her voice began to crack.

"I-I just... I just wanted someone,  _anyone_ , to come out and maybe say ‘hi’ to me!? T-to say, 'Reimu, we care about you, we're here for you, you're not alone'!! Y-you'll never be as a-alone as you  _th-think you are_...!!"

Reimu forced out those last words through squeaks, as her stomach trembled and sobs began to force their way up her throat. Ashamed, she kept her face buried in her knees, her arms wrapped around them securely. "Th-the first person I ever,  _ever_  remember saying that kinda thing to me was Marisa... and I thought she was nuts for wanting to bother with a  _cursed,_   _monster shrine maiden_  like m-me."

"Reimu...!" Sanae leant in and wrapped an arm around Reimu's back, stroking Reimu's hair with her free hand.

"So I-I'm practically an adult now, right!?" Reimu laughed weakly through her sobs. "B-but it’s only after years and years of people actually caring for me 'cus they  _liked_  me, not just because I'm the Hakurei shrine maiden... Only  _recently_  did I finally realise th-that me being alone throughout my childhood, me never having a family...

... Wasn't actually my f-fault, ahaha."

Reimu laughed again, her voice quivering as she peeked out at Sanae from behind her arms. "It never  _was_  my fault. It was just... unfair. Plain  _unfair_. It was just this supposedly ‘amazingly lucky shrine maiden's’ single, most unlucky draw in life!"

Finally realising Sanae was holding her, Reimu took a deep breath in and tried to compose herself. She was surprisingly good at doing that... when she needed to. “H-heheh... I dunno what to say now.” Tears still falling from her eyes, she gave Sanae a weak smile.

"G-god I... I really cried to you, huh?" Reimu sniffed, wiping her eyes. "I-I wonder if that makes us eve-"

Interrupted, Reimu was pulled into a tight, possessive hug and the two practically tumbled onto the shrine's walkway together. "H-hey!!" Reimu stuttered, before she felt Sanae's hand stroking her hair, before she felt Sanae's lips gently peck her forehead.

"Hey, Reimu...?" Sanae murmured as she protectively held Reimu in her arms... the same way Reimu had been holding her just earlier.

"Y-yeah...?" Reimu mumbled, her mouth muffled as Sanae hugged her head into her clothes.

"You know Marisa's basically your family at this point, right? And I bet she considers you family, too."

"Yeah." Reimu grinned as she squeezed Sanae tighter and nuzzled into the green-head's chest. "I kinda realised that at some point, I guess..." she giggled.

"Well..." Sanae loosened her grip on Reimu and shuffled back. She moved to gently hold Reimu's face in her hands as the two laid down on the walkway together. "I'm your family too, Reimu."

Reimu brought her hand to one of Sanae's on her face, and gripped it. "I'm your family..." Sanae leaned in and kissed Reimu on the forehead again. "I'm your friend... I'm your lover..." she smiled meekly and kissed Reimu again, this time on the cheek. She playfully took her hand from Reimu's face and grabbed Reimu's hand, interlacing their fingers together before kissing Reimu's face again.

"I love you... Reimu. I love you as your family... I love you as your friend, b-but I..." she averted eye-contact as a blush spread across her cheeks. She pulled their interlocked hands to her lips and kissed them.

"I'm in love with you. Genuinely, Reimu. And all of this, tonight, has just made me even more sure of that."

Reimu's eyes shot open, tears still sitting in them as her face flushed the brightest red it had been all night. Her ears felt hot, her heart felt like it was going to prance out of her chest if it beat much harder, and the sweet, doting way Sanae looked at her face was overwhelming.

"I've, uh..." Sanae continued, snuggling her body up closer to Reimu's, her face inches from Reimu's, her fingers interlaced with Reimu's. "Somehow, I've always felt like we were kindred spirits, o-or something? Besides both being shrine maidens, I mean...”  her eyes flickered as she tried to think about how to... word this.

“Like... I came to Gensokyo feeling so alone, and you've always wanted a family. I used to think I was going to lose my family, but in the end, Gensokyo gave us both our families...! I uh... s-sorry if that's presumptuous of me." she awkwardly giggled through her pink blush.

Reimu shook her head, her bottom jaw trembling into a wobbly smile as tears continued to trickle from her eyes. She shuffled herself closer to Sanae too, clutching her hands. Sanae breathed a giggle, a delighted smile spreading across her face as she pressed her forehead to Reimu's.

"Ah-..." Reimu opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out besides a stuttered squeak. The two giggled together for a few moments at how embarrassing it was, how intimate this was, and how little neither of them cared while their faces were just inches apart from each other, both dampened by tears like this.

"L-lemme try again." Reimu forced out and the two of them giggled again. She buried her nose and mouth into Sanae's cheek. "Uh..." she stuttered again. "My hands are getting kinda clammy, actually..." she mumbled, realising that their fingers had been interlaced for a while already.

"Uggh, Reimu!" Sanae laughed, letting go of Reimu's hand. "Just say it already, you coward!!" she held Reimu's face in her hands instead as she continued to laugh, beaming gleefully at her girlfriend.

"O-okay! Okay! You just make it look so easy..." Reimu awkwardly giggled. She fluttered her eyes towards Sanae's delighted, smitten face for another moment.

"Aggh, dammit! Ehehe..." Reimu laughed again as her face flushed red again. "I love you! Like, the... the in love with you kind of l-loving you... a-ah I probably didn't need to clarify like tha-"

"Mm..."

Interrupting Reimu's awkward monologue, Sanae assertively pressed her lips to Reimu's. As if Reimu had been waiting for something to mercifully interrupt her poor attempts at being mushy, she slinked her arms around Sanae's body.

Reimu clung to Sanae as if her life depended on it, while Sanae gently caressed Reimu's face in her hands.

"Ah-ahhh..." Reimu breathed as the two parted. "I... r-really love you." she whimpered, her eyes threatening to well up with overwhelmed tears again.

"Easier that time?" Sanae giggled. "I love you too, Reimu!" she playfully dived in for another kiss, this time wrapping her arms around Reimu. She squeezed so tightly that it almost hurt - had Sanae always been this strong!?

"Mm, mm, mm!!" Reimu awkwardly giggled into the kiss and repeatedly patted Sanae's back to get her to stop. "Ah, ah, ah ah ah!" Reimu winced. "M-my elbow, you're crushing my elbow against the wooden boarding!"

"O-oh!" Sanae quickly pulled herself away from Reimu. "I uh, sorry." she chuckled and pulled Reimu up by the hands. The two mutually decided it would be more comfortable to sit up again.

"Man..." Reimu rubbed the back of her red head, but couldn't keep this dumb big smile off her face. "Lying uncomfortably on the wooden floor with gross damp faces really isn't the most romantic way to confess your love to someone."

Sanae turned to Reimu with a blissful grin and squeezed her girlfriend's hand. "I dunno! Maybe it was a bit messier than the way it happens in stories, but in my heart it felt even more wonderful than I ever imagined it could be."

"Sanae..." Reimu flushed red again, meekly letting the weight of her body lean into Sanae as her girlfriend leaned back. "How the hell do you say mushy things so easily without alcohol!?"

"Wanna practise?" Sanae turned her nose to nuzzle and kiss Reimu's cheek. "I'll go first."

"Y-you just went!!" Reimu's face went even more red. She pulled her hand to her racing chest as she tried to anticipate what Sanae could possibly be about to say "W-wait, I'm not ready!!"

"Hmmmm?" Sanae purred into Reimu's cheek and flirtily slinked her arms around her girlfriend's neck. "Hey, Reimu... I really don't think I'll ever perform a miracle as amazing as the one that let me meet you."

Reimu almost screamed as her face went as bright red as her own robes, then she coughed as if her throat was completely unprepared to be so loud at that time of night. Sanae couldn't help but giggle in delight, then laugh, holding her arm over her guts as her laughter escalated so infectiously that Reimu began to laugh with her.

"How the hell am I supposed to one-up you after you say something like that!? Ugh!" Reimu grinned, wiping the few remaining tears from her eyes and placing a few playful pecks on Sanae's jaw.

"Oh, whoops~" Sanae hummed, kissing Reimu back and running a finger flirtily along Reimu's neck. "Reimu Hakurei's rival has to be quite formidable though, right? Don't worry, I'm sure you'll have many, many years to plot your counterattack."

"I'll consider it, if you keep kissing me." Reimu relaxed more into Sanae's cuddling. "A-and... if we keep telling each other more and more about each other...?"

"That sounds like a perfect deal to me." the green-head cuddled her girlfriend so possessively that she was practically carrying her.

The moon that had haunted them for the past few days hung low on the now-twilit horizon, but was largely ignored by the two who were more far transfixed on one another instead. The couple cuddled and kissed quietly together, indulging in each others' simple, comforting company as they awaited the sun's rise on what would hopefully be a more peaceful Gensokyo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I love flangst. And this pairing.
> 
> For those unfamiliar, "1cc" means "1 credit clear". Touhou fans use it to describe beating the game without losing a continue. In Touhou canon... the protagonists of th15 don't take the elixir, they clear "legacy mode" without getting hit once.
> 
> As Sanae said, the chapter title refers to the fact that our lives are the only ones we have, so we have to make the most of them!
> 
> As was probably evident to those familiar with it, this chapter is set in between the final boss of th15: Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom and the good endings - so before the Extra Story.
> 
> This chapter is possibly the most important chapter in the story and for now, the ending.  
> I still have plans for at least two more chapters, but I'm going to take a hiatus from writing until around November, just to make sure I don't burn out during NaNoWriMo. I'm hoping I'll be able to start working on this again by then! I originally planned to upload a little bonus thing today too, but I think it'll have to wait for next weekend now.
> 
> I almost cried multiple times while writing this chapter, so I hope it has an emotional effect on some readers too!
> 
> Have I mentioned that I really love this pairing?
> 
> \--------------------------------  
> Glossary:  
> 1cc - "1 credit clear". Beating the game without losing a continue.  
> Eientei - a mansion in Gensokyo where refugees from the moon reside  
> Ultramarine Orb Elixir - a powerful medicine that purifies whoever takes it and allows them to see briefly into the future in order to avoid attacks. This was the gameplay gimmick of th15.  
> Junko - The final boss of th15. A furious divine spirit whose sole purpose for existence is to avenge the death of her child  
> gap lady - referring to Yukari Yakumo  
> tengu - a goblin-like youkai, often anthropomorphic crows  
> kappa - an aquatic goblin-like youkai curious towards humans. In Touhou, they're good mechanics and innovators and consider themselves to be on good terms with humans.


	5. Pride (Part 1)

 

> **(2017)**

"ACHOO!" Reimu blubbered ungracefully, messily wiping the snot from her nose.

"Ahahaha!" she heard a laugh from nearby, as the kappa Nitori Kawashiro nonchalantly approached her stall. Nitori was one of the more particularly cunning and influential kappa, and was never too far away whenever there was business to be done. "Someone talking about you behind your back again, Reimu?"

Reimu's eyes lidded in irritation at the kappa. As always, Nitori's blue hair was done up in pigtails, her blue dress's pockets stuffed full of various miscellaneous tools and gadgets. Reimu still didn't even know the purpose for half of them. "Hopefully." the shrine maiden sighed. "That cold winter is finally over, so it'd suck to get sick now."

"That aside!" Nitori pointed a finger accusingly at Reimu. "Isn't it unsightly for a shrine maiden to have snot all over her fingers when a customer could appear any second now? Now of all times, you can't afford to lose out to Moriya Shrine."

"Oh shut up." Reimu was finally getting a little irritated at the zealous kappa, as she continued to rub her nose. "All the potential customers are up at Moriya Shrine anyway, no one saw that besides you."

As if tempted by fate, a human man from the village walked past Reimu and raised an eyebrow. Of course, he hurried his family past her stall and back towards the village.

"Ugh..." Reimu deflated onto her stall. "Thanks a lot, kappa."

"Pahahahaha!" Nitori burst out into laughter, clutching her stomach before giving Reimu a playful pat on the shoulder. "I'm just messing with you. The grand ropeway opening event is probably ending soon, so people are starting to come back down from the mountain. See?"

She pointed towards the ropeway, which had just brought another bunch of humans down from the mountain. Crowds of people chattered amongst themselves as they shuffled and scurried right past Reimu's small charm stand, as well as all the kappas' stands, heading right back towards the village.

"They've been buying stuff all day from us, then up the top of the mountain too. After an exciting day at Moriya Shrine most of them will want to just go straight home, right? But some-..."

At this point though, Reimu was barely paying attention to Nitori's business ramblings. She was tired, she'd already sold loads of charms today and made way more money than usual. Nah, now she now had other things on her mind instead. Reimu leant on her fist, staring at the ropeway and up youkai mountain with a vacant, daydreamy expression.

"...-nd that's why it's still important to try and ensnare some of those tired fish before they can get home." Nitori continued, having completely lost Reimu.

"Hey!" another, dark-haired kappa called from nearby. "I snagged one!" she grinned over to Nitori, gloating as she held up a small sack of freshly-acquired yen.

"Agh!" the competitive kappa grimaced. "See, Reimu? You let your guard down for one second and the people who forgot to buy souvenirs from the top of the mountain have already chosen someone else's stand over yours! Catchya later!"

"Huh? Oh, sure. See you around." Reimu mumbled as Nitori pranced back to her stand, hoping to catch some humans looking for last-minute souvenir sales.

' _Moriya Shrine is wrapping up for the day, huh..._ ' Reimu thought. The ropeway ride headed towards the top of the mountain to pick up some more tired families, as the sun began to sink lower in the dimming orange sky.

...

"Great work today, Sanae!" Kasen winked at the Moriya Shrine maiden, giving her a supportive pat on the shoulder. "I'm really glad the ropeway opening went so smoothly in the end."

"Th-thanks..." a somewhat exhausted-looking Sanae slumped over her stall as the last set of visitors headed back to the ropeway. "I'm not even sure what you were doing here today, but thanks."

"O-oh!" Kasen defensively shook her hands in front of her. "I was just curious about how all this would turn out. Plus! I wanted to help prepare for the after-party." she smiled awkwardly and scratched her face, turning towards the shrine building. "Somehow, I've ended up pretty good at that kind of thing."

Sanae lifted her head up and raised an eyebrow at Kasen. "You really don't have to do that." she pouted. "I'm on a roll! There's even more I can do to show off Moriya Shrine's excellence today!"

"You've done enough!" Kasen chuckled. "I'm sure your gods will agree, especially since this after-party is more for  _you_  than anyone else."

"Mmph..." Sanae restlessly shuffled her foot against the ground as she slumped again. "But I-..."

"Besides." Kasen smiled warmly, pointing over in the direction of the ropeway. "I think someone's been waiting to see you all afternoon."

"Mm?" Sanae lazily rolled her head on the counter to face the ropeway platform.

Basked by the light of the dimming sun, Sanae spotted a familiar silhouette land at the top of the ropeway. Her expression lit up in a bright, excited pink, the green-head jolted up from her stall and bounced out to the shrine's main pathway. "Reimu!!" she called out, shielding her eyes from the setting sun.

Reimu stretched out a thumbs up - and as the glow of the sun finally cooled Sanae noticed a soft, warm smile plastered across the other shrine maiden's face. Warmth and pride filled Sanae's heart at Reimu's simple, but significant gesture of approval.

After her busy, nerve-wracking day, she could barely contain herself any more! Sanae scrunched her eyes shut as an exuberant smile spread across her face. She clutched her hands to her chest and stepped her feet excitedly on the spot, she stretched her arms out and twirled on her toes and danced, laughing and squealing and cheering joyously.

Her displays of pure, unadulterated joy and pride were infectious; even the typically competitive Reimu devolved into a fit of grins and giggles as she held out her arms and began to run towards the adorable green-head.

Still giggling and squealing excitedly, Sanae ran towards Reimu too and practically dived onto her. Reimu caught her girlfriend in her arms and gleefully span her around once, the two giggling and laughing together.

"Whew!" Sanae squeaked, gripping Reimu's arms tighter and nuzzling her face into Reimu's chest after being twirled around. "I keep forgetting how strong you are! I missed these biceps today..." she hummed dreamily as she fondly pinched Reimu’s upper-arms.

"Ehehe..." Reimu chuckled, still grinning widely as she held Sanae. "H-hey uh... congratulations, Sanae. So much of this is because of your hard work, right?" Reimu's surprisingly soft, encouraging expression looked down fondly at Sanae's excited pink face. She could feel Sanae's heart racing against her chest.

"I did it..." Sanae mumbled, squeezing herself into Reimu's hug as her girlfriend's smile filled her with reassurance. "I really did it! And it turned out amazing!"

' _It really did..._ ' Reimu stared wistfully at the shrine for a moment... but her twinges of jealousy were overshadowed by the pride she felt towards the girl in her arms.

"A-and I'm really so happy you came today, Reimu. I was kinda worried you wouldn't show up because... w-well, you know." the green-head awkwardly averted eye-contact, but Reimu confidently rubbed her shoulders and stared her right in the eyes.

"Hey, of course I came! I-I even made loads of money..." she awkwardly scratched her face, making Sanae chuckle quietly. "B-but I'm serious! Sanae... I'm really, really proud of you. Y-you deserve this..." Reimu struggled to maintain eye-contact through her uncharacteristic show of pride for someone else, but she managed.

And her earnest words rewarded her, as Sanae's beautiful yellow eyes beamed the brightest Reimu had seen them in quite some time. "Reimuu!!" Sanae gasped, crushing Reimu's ribs in her arms. "A-aahhww!! I  _love you_!!" she pushed her lips into Reimu's cheek and squealed happily again as Reimu embraced her tightly, squishing her own face against Sanae's.

Things were about to change... a lot. A ropeway ride had opened from the bottom of Youkai Mountain right up to Moriya Shrine itself - and it was already a hit with the villagers. Moriya Shrine had been busier today than Reimu had  _ever_  seen her own shrine... and it kinda hurt.

But as frustrating as it was, Reimu  _knew_  Sanae now. She had seen Sanae work tirelessly for years on all sorts of things, and this was the happiest and most satisfied Reimu had ever seen Sanae in her own work, or herself.

It was all the evidence Reimu needed, to know that no matter how Sanae acted while she was working she was still the same heartfelt person underneath it all.

This small moment of reflection inspired by Sanae's sincere self-satisfaction helped Reimu realise again just how lucky she was to still have Sanae... despite everything that had happened between them. Despite how unreasonably she used to judge her rival's attitude.

She nuzzled Sanae's head and wrapped her arms around her protectively.

' _Yeah... maybe losing isn't so bad sometimes... if it's to her._ '

...

The evening rolled in at a relaxing pace, party guests taking their time to show up. Reimu was sat on the grass to the side of Moriya Shrine's main grounds, Sanae laid serenely on her lap. The couple had watched the sun set over Gensokyo’s horizon together, and Sanae was now trying to explain to Reimu the simple beauty of the subtle changes in the winds that blew over Moriya Shrine.

"I don't really get it, but it sure is peaceful..." a relaxed Reimu mumbled, her hand laid gently on Sanae's. The green-head giggled. "If you're relaxed, I think you probably get it. A little."

"If you say so." Reimu huffed, smiling down sheepishly at Sanae's sweetly smiling face. Sanae cheekily tapped her index finger to her lips, and as instructed Reimu leant down and pecked her.

"Longer, please!" Sanae chirped adorably. "'Kay." Reimu giggled, leaning down to kiss her again, this time for a little longer as Sanae affectionately stroked her face.

Raising her head with a delighted blush and a wobbly smile, Reimu awkwardly changed the subject - as she does. "Kinda weird that no one wanted us to help with party preparations..." Reimu darted her eyes around, seeing gods preparing food and drink with kappa, tengu, and a few other familiar faces. It seemed like this party may turn out surprisingly similar to a Hakurei Shrine party.

Sanae's eyes widened, a light blush scattering her cheeks as she contemplated Reimu’s observation. "O-oh man..." she laughed awkwardly. "I mean, earlier, Kasen said this party was for me, b-but then..."

"Yeah, no one asked me to help either." Reimu raised an eyebrow and smiled - before being hit with the same realisation and blushing herself. "O-oh... oh."

"Y-yeah..." Sanae forced a giggle and reached up to stroke Reimu's face again. "I-I mean... I guess as far as Gensokyo couples go, we're pretty well-known at this point...?"

Reimu's heart started to beat a little quicker with self-consciousness - it certainly seemed like her and Sanae had been intentionally left out of planning because certain people wanted them to be able to spend a little extra time together. It wasn't as if the two had kept their relationship secret, anyway. Word just... took a little while to get around, especially as their second attempt at love had been a lot more relaxed so far.

Reimu loved her own shrine being the centre of attention, but this? A relationship being the centre of attention was a little different... she awkwardly held Sanae's hand to her cheek and nuzzled it a little. She kissed Sanae's hand, making her girlfriend blush just slightly.

The couple sighed deeply, almost in sync, exchanging infatuated gazes and warm, bubbly smiles.

"Oiii!" The serene bubble burst. A familiarly friendly and loud voice shouted out; "Congrats, Sanae!" Marisa hopped off her broom as she flew up to the no-longer-peaceful couple.

Reimu cleared her throat. " _Ahem_. Marisa, can't you see we're having a moment?" the red-white shrine maiden pouted as she gripped Sanae's hand possessively, fearing their peaceful time was coming to an end for now.

"This is Sanae's party tho', right?" Marisa bent forward with her hands on her hips and grinned. "People are gonna come here t' congratulate her now that the party's gettin' started."

"She's right, Reimu." Sanae awkwardly giggled, pinching Reimu's cheek with the hand Reimu was still holding and making Reimu pout down at her. "Don't worry babe, we've got the whole party still, so..." Sanae smiled sheepishly, thoroughly endeared by how much Reimu seemed to want to spend time with her.

"Anyway!" Marisa continued nonchalantly "The rope thingymajig looks pretty awesome, d' people have to like, climb up it with their hands?"

Sanae coughed a laugh as Reimu lidded her eyes at Marisa in disbelief.

"No, silly." Sanae sat up and leant her shoulders into Reimu's. "There's a wooden platform that people ride up the rope with. Did you not see it?"

"Nope!" Marisa rubbed her tall black hat on her head. "I came from the other side 'f the mountain. I was sneakin' around kappa territory for treasure since they were all out t'day."

"So  _that's_  where you were all day." Reimu raised an eyebrow, evidently a little impressed. "You missed me making loads of money!"

"Damn, really!?" Marisa's jaw dropped as Reimu and Sanae both nodded proudly - for pretty different reasons.

"Maybe you're bad luck, Marisa..." Reimu tilted her head and grinned teasingly at her friend.

"I-I'm sure that's not true..." Sanae sheepishly giggled as she looked at Marisa apologetically.

"It's not." Marisa confidently stated, her hands on her hips. "I've been known to enrich lives, not make 'em worse. Even when I steal from people, I improve their lives in some way!"

"Uhhuh." Reimu's eyes lidded again, a playful grin still on her face as she leant into Sanae's body. "So where's  _your_  date Marisa? Did you 'enrich' her life so much she decided not to show?"

Sanae clasped her hands to her mouth in shock at Reimu's playful insult, but Marisa simply held her gut in laughter. "Naw, she's mingling somewhere." the blonde pointed a thumb towards the suddenly bustling collection of familiar faces, human and youkai.

Some of them had arrived by flying, others had taken the opportunity to try out the shiny new ropeway. Many of the usual suspects were among them, regulars at Hakurei Shrine that even Sanae had come to get to know over the course of her first decade in Gensokyo.

"This really is starting to feel like a Hakurei Shrine party." Reimu couldn't help but smile as she realised how many familiar youkai were among them. Despite how Sanae sometimes teased her for running a 'youkai shrine', it seemed like Sanae had made friends with plenty of those youkai herself. "... That was a compliment, by the way."

"Ehehe, I know." Sanae lightly headbutted Reimu. "What can I say? Even though I visit the human village often, you two have wonderful taste in friends."

"True that!" Marisa stuck her chest out proudly. "Anyway, I should go grab her and bring her over. _HEEEEYY, A-_ "

**_*KZZZT* *SCREEEE*_ **

"Testing, testing, is this thing on?" A deep, smooth and charismatic voice suddenly boomed around the shrine grounds, causing the chattering among the individual groups to quieten down a little.

"O-oh!" Sanae sat up straight and faced towards the shrine as Marisa scurried off to find her date. "Lady Kanako is going to make a speech?"

"Hoping she doesn't embarrass you too much?" Reimu raised a playful eyebrow at Sanae. Sanae elbowed her lightly in the stomach and the two giggled.

"Ah, perfect." Kanako, evidently completely aware that the megaphone was working fine, smiled as the guests quietened down and turned towards her. "Best to get the crowd's attention before any of you get  _too_  drunk, hm?"

Some murmured laughter could be heard among the guests. "Too bad, I'm already drunk!!" shouted out a certain small lively oni with orange hair, making the crowd laugh a little louder.

To Sanae's modest surprise, Reimu was laughing too. She genuinely wasn't expecting Reimu's sense of humour to mesh with Kanako's. The green-head beamed.

Kanako cleared her throat with a fake awkwardness. "I'm actually no good at this stuff. My better half was meant to be doing it instead, but she says her throat's sore from screaming into this thing for the visitors all day." she turned her head to the side and winked at Suwako, who was grinned sheepishly back at her as scattered laughter filled the grounds again.

"She's lyiing!" Sanae jeered over to them through the laughter, getting a few more laughs from the guest. Suwako raised an eyebrow and pointed a thumb at Kanako, very obviously mouthing the word 'liar'.

' _Huh._ ' Reimu thought, ' _These jokes are definitely going over much better than my attempts at humour do._ ' her eyes lidded slightly, as she couldn't help but feel further twinges of jealousy.

"Anyway, anyway." Kanako's voice softened. Even speaking quieter, her deep voice carried with such confident clarity, her natural aura so imposing, that it was impossible not to pay attention. "I won't keep you  _too_  long as I'm certain you all have very important drinking and catching up to do. Really, I just wanted to thank you all for coming to celebrate this exciting day with us!"

"Whooo!" Sanae squealed and clapped excitedly next to Reimu, prompting some awkward muffled clapping from the other guests too. Her happiness was admittedly infectious, as her dark-haired girlfriend smiled too.

"After some difficult but surprisingly productive years of negotiation with the youkai who control this mountain, the Moriya Shrine ropeway is permanently open for business! Not only will it allow villagers to easily visit our beautiful scenic shrine at the top of the mountain, it'll help you youkai and gods rest your legs if making the flight sounds a little tedious."

More muffled chuckles from the crowd... she was really good at this.

"Coincidentally, I was told by our wonderfully talented shrine maiden, Sanae," she gestured to Sanae, who sheepishly rubbed her head and bowed. "... that it's been almost exactly ten years since we arrived in Gensokyo! I'm lucky she pays attention to things like that. When you get to my age, I can wake up from a nap to find a decade has passed."

"That's never happened." Sanae whispered aside to Reimu. "At least, since I was born, she's never done that."

"I mean, you'd think." Reimu lidded her eyes and grinned. "You've only been alive a few decades."

"Sh-shut up." Sanae went a little red, realising that her observation didn't sound as helpful out loud as it did in her head. Reimu giggled and gave Sanae's upper-arm a reassuring rub.

Suwako, seemingly intent on being part of the routine in some fashion, grabbed the megaphone from her other. "Hey, how old  _are_  you anyway?"

"Much too young to be getting that sort of tone from  _you_ , dear." Kanako snatched the megaphone back and huffed, shrugging her shoulders. The very diverse and varied group of guests were seemingly getting more into things now, laughing more readily at Kanako's very easy to read cues.

The situation felt very relaxed though, likely helped by the spirited banter between Moriya Shrine's three close gods. As a result, a few youkai were content to half-listen while they returned to drinking and quietly chatting amongst themselves. It's not like one had to focus much to hear Kanako's booming voice anyway.

"To us-" Kanako quickly gestured to herself and Suwako. "A decade feels like nothing. That said, we feel as though we've gotten quickly accustomed to life here in Gensokyo. I mean, just look at this sublime view!" she gestured to the fantastical mountaintop view that was easy to see from almost anywhere on the shrine grounds.

The quaint lights of torch fire from the Human Village, the eerily glowing fog of the Forest of Magic, even the shimmering moonlight reflecting off the mountain's Lake Suwa. It was difficult not to feel a sense of awe - a sense that was the core essence of faith in the gods.

"When you look around Gensokyo, compared to the Outside World, it's no wonder gods quickly start to feel at home here." the dark-haired goddess smiled - more of a genuine expression than the theatrical ones she had shown so far tonight. "And I know that things got off to a bumpy start, what with the hell raven misunderstanding and all..."

"She tried to conquer Gensokyo!!" Marisa shouted playfully from within the crowd, a frail-looking blonde woman with a red hairband nodding enthusiastically next to her.

"She didn't mean it...!" a woman with short pinkish-purple hair and a blue top called from somewhere else nearby. More laughter from the increasingly rowdy guests.

Kanako smiled warmly, seemingly welcoming the interruptions rather than discouraging them. It was easy to feel included, Reimu noted. Maybe that was why it was going over so well. Sanae was smiling so hard at how lively and pleasant it all was that she felt as though her cheeks might fall off.

"Yes yes, water under the bridge!" Kanako carefreely flicked a hand towards the audience with a grin.

"Despite our rude arrival, I genuinely want to thank most of you for being so welcoming over the past decade. We certainly see now that Gensokyo truly is a paradise refuge for those left forgotten by the world." her words showing a hint of wistfulness, Kanako and Suwako both held sake cups out towards the guests. "And I sincerely hope that it won't be long now before Moriya Shrine feels like an old neighbour in Gensokyo too. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" came a cacophonous flurry of rowdy voices from among the guests, as they all held out their cups and enthusiastically took swigs of sake. Reimu, of course, happily joined in and obliged, breathing out happily after taking a generous gulp. Sanae was a little more conservative with her sip, but was still positively buzzing from the atmosphere.

"I want to give some thanks before you all continue enjoying yourselves!" the blue-haired goddess raised her voice again in hopes she kept  _some_  attention from the guests, eager to get on with drinking. "First of all I have to again thank the kappa for assisting us with the production of the ropeway. It wasn't always a smooth process, but we certainly couldn't have done it without you."

"You already thanked us, with money!" Nitori called out from the crowd, gleefully holding her index finger to her thumb.

"I see." Kanako nodded coolly. "Note to self, don't bother thanking kappa." yet more muffled laughter from the audience.

Reimu gripped her knees. Without realising, she had begun to feel... nervous. She hadn't expected Kanako would be doing the whole 'thanking people' thing. Her relationship with Sanae had been common gossip in Gensokyo lately, after all... Kanako wouldn't, would she?

"Of course" the goddess continued, "we sort of landed on tengu territory when we arrived, so we would like to once again extend our warmest gratitude to the tengu for negotiating with us on a project that invades on their historical home. I don't suppose Lord Tenma is among our guests today?" she asked, taking a brief look around.

"I'll be sure to send him your regards!" winked a tengu woman with short black hair, as she snapped a photo of the shrine grounds and crowds from above.

"Thank you, Aya." Kanako offered the tengu an amused smile. "Now, then. Last, but certainly not least..."

She paused and exchanged a knowing smile with Suwako, who smirked proudly back at her. Sanae stared at the two of them, resting her chin her hands with a silly, carefree grin on her face. Seeing the two of them communicate so flawlessly and trustingly with just nuanced body language was something she would never grow tired of.

"Indeed, a decade isn't long at all for a couple of old goddesses like us..." the pair chuckled as Kanako took one of Suwako's hands in hers. "It's easy to forget how long one can be for humans - and there is one human who has worked tirelessly for the good of Moriya Shrine throughout the last decade, because of how much it means to her."

Reimu, now anxious for different reasons, looked to her side. Sanae's eyes were widened, a light pink scattering her nose and cheeks, her mouth hung slightly agape.

"So we want to extend our most heartfelt gratitude to our Sanae, as there's simply no way this could have happened so quickly without her hard work, effort and sincere enthusiasm." the couple beamed proudly, gesturing across the shrine grounds to where Sanae and Reimu were sat.

"Not satisfied with modernising Moriya Shrine at the laid back pace of her millennia-old elders, she has been picking up slack wherever she sees it to make sure the ropeway could happen as soon as possible. Because she wanted so badly to show everyone how amazing Moriya Shrine is, and because she wants everyone in Gensokyo to be reminded of how special a land this is."

"O-oh god..." Sanae squeaked under her breath, her face bright red as many attentive eyes turned to her. "She already thanked me for my work this morning, did she really h-have to..." She desperately tried to avoid the urge to hide her face behind her hands.

Reimu awkwardly chuckled, very aware that she was being stared at too - but only because she was next to the actual centre of attention. The confusing feeling from earlier had returned... a discomforting mix of pride and jealousy. She tried to focus on how warm Sanae's happiness made her feel as she scrambled to keep the guilt of jealousy at bay.

Noticing Sanae's flustered expression, Kanako decided to land the final blow. "It's amazing to think that Sanae has only been in our lives for a few, short decades... and they've passed in the blink of an eye, but we can no longer imagine our Moriya Shrine family without her."

Suwako nodded and took the megaphone from Kanako. "While we _do_ want to earnestly thank Sanae on behalf of Moriya Shrine, for everything she's done for it..." she grinned, huddling up against Kanako's side.

"More than anything? We both want to thank her personally, from the bottoms of our hearts, for enriching _our_ lives in such a significant, heartfelt way."

"We're so proud of you." Kanako said, beaming warmly. "Thank you, Sanae." the two goddesses concluded together as they bowed lightly to Sanae in their gratitude.

As Kanako stood straight again and wiped what was probably an odd tear from her eye, she started to clap. Her infectious charisma, of course, meant that many of the other drunk guests had started clapping with her - Reimu of course joining the ovation too. "Whoooo!" Marisa cheered from the audience, accompanied by some other drunken excited cheers and whoops.

All Sanae could do was sit very still, her back straightened, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. "Thank you..." she meekly mouthed a few times.

She did her best to maintain a sensible composure, but the intense red of her face and the emotional tears building in the corners of her eyes clearly betrayed how deeply touched she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally back! And you'll be happy to know I'll be uploading a chapter once a week until it's finished!
> 
> Initial writing of the story is now completed. After struggling with writer's block for most of October and early November, NaNoWriMo eventually managed to kick me into gear again. I'm very happy with how the rest is turning out so far, and I hope you'll enjoy it too!
> 
> As fans of Wild and Horned Hermit may have guessed, this is set immediately after WaHH 39 - another of my favourite Sanae-focused chapters.
> 
> I'm particularly happy with "Pride", the title and theme of Chapters 5-6. After initially intending for the main points of Reimu and Sanae's relationship arc to have been concluded in Ch4, the basic concept I had for what came next grew into something surprisingly meaningful. Please look forward to Part 2 next week, which is definitely one of my favourite chapters of this story. 
> 
> \----------------------  
> Glossary:  
> kappa: an aquatic goblin-like youkai curious towards humans.  
> tengu: a goblin-like youkai, often anthropomorphic crows  
> oni: an incredibly physically strong youkai, comparable to a demon or ogre. In Touhou, they are quite a rare youkai.  
> Lake Suwa: the real-life lake that Moriya Shrine's lake was inspired by. It's unnamed in Touhou, so I opted to give it the same name.
> 
> Cameos (just thought I'd mention these in-case they weren't obvious)  
> "small lively oni" - Suika Ibuki  
> "hell raven misunderstanding" - referencing Utsuho Reiuji and the events of Touhou 11  
> "blonde woman with a red hairband" - Alice Margatroid, of course  
> "woman with purple hair and blue top" - Satori Komeiji


	6. Pride (Part 2)

"Oh oh!" Reimu's expression lit up "I just remembered Aya was here with her camera! I really hope she got a photo of your face at the end there."

"Must you torture me..." Sanae whined, leaning her shoulder into Reimu and poking her girlfriend’s cheek. "I really hope she didn't, I don't wanna see my gross crying face all over the front page of Bunbunmaru..."

Following Kanako's speech, the party had been thrown into full swing. Fortunately this meant that most of the guests were much too distracted by booze and each other to pay much attention to the fact Sanae had kind of bawled her eyes out, running over to Kanako and Suwako and burying herself in their hugs.

"All the more reason I gotta find Aya." Reimu smiled reliably at Sanae, affectionately holding her head close. "If she even thinks of running a photo that embarrasses you I'll have no choice but to exterminate her. I just want  _you_  to see the look on your face, because  _oh my god_."

"Thanks." Sanae's eyes lidded with irritation, though she nuzzled Reimu's cheek anyway. "That's sooo reassuring."

"You looked adorable!!" Reimu threw her arms out in exasperation, as if she'd been trying to explain this to Sanae for hours already. "It's unfair that you didn't get to see how cute you looked!? Besides, I thought you loved attention from crowds."

"I do, but for work! That was... really personal. I'm trying to tell you that I think I'd find it really embarrassing!" Sanae laughed, caught up in the pace of how passionate Reimu seemed about this. "By the way babe, you already stink of booze." she added.

"Mm? Oh yeah. Well, I hope you don't mind." Reimu respected that Sanae didn't like drinking, but  _she_  loved it. She also loved getting  _really_  drunk, but what she needed most tonight was just something to take the edge off. Something to distract her from the torn, churning feelings in her stomach, something that let her just indulge herself in how proud she was for her girlfriend.

"No no, it's okay!" Sanae smiled and pushed her weight into Reimu as they strolled around the fire-lit shrine grounds, taking in the amazing views from the top of the mountain. "Actually, I was wondering..."

"Wondering...?" Reimu's eyes widened a little in fear. She had a feeling about what Sanae was about to ask.

Sanae's mouth took a sly v-shape, her eyes virtually sparkling with stars. "I hoped that if you got a little drunk, you may feel more comfortable in coming to dance with me!"

Reimu stuck her nose in her sake cup. She stared awkwardly at the silky white liquid in it as sweat beaded on her forehead. "N-nah, I'm fine thanks."

"Come onnn!" Sanae clutched her hands together and pleaded, pushing her nose and face adorably close to Reimu's. "I really want to dance with you!"

"I-I dunno..." Reimu sighed. Sanae seemed so hopeful and Reimu didn't want to let her down... but Reimu only liked the ‘drunken aimless prancing with other drunk friends’ kind of ‘dancing’. The kind of dancing Sanae wanted to do was like, actual dancing. The kind of dancing that would be really easy to mess up on, or would make her feel weirdly self-conscious.

Sanae pouted as she leant her nose into Reimu's cheek again. "Mmmmmmmm." she mumbled in monotone, trying to get Reimu to crack. Nothing, all Reimu did was smile at her girlfriend and poke the sake cup at Sanae's cheek.

Then it hit her - an idea! "All right! How about this..." Sanae edged away from Reimu, grasping her free hand enthusiastically. "If you dance with me, _I'll_ drink some more!"

Reimu held her cup to her mouth, one eye open staring at Sanae's face with the other winked shut. ' _She is really, really cute when she's drunk._ ' she reasoned to herself. She had already been seriously considering it, so her reasoning didn't need to be complex. "Deal." she grinned, taking the cup away from her lips and passing it to Sanae. "Drink up!"

Sanae quickly downed what was left in Reimu's cup and then snatched Reimu's hands again, giggling and pulling her eagerly towards the shrine grounds.

A couple of instrument tsukumogami, the Tsukumo sisters, had been invited to liven up the festivities with music for the guests. Other youkai and gods were already prancing and shuffling around merrily - the kind of 'dancing' Reimu usually preferred. Among them were many familiar faces, but there were definitely a lot more tengu and kappa guests than Hakurei Shrine's parties usually saw.

Sanae held both Reimu's hands as she stood, facing her and looking her up and down as if analysing something. "Hmm..." she tilted her head as she looked Reimu in the eyes. "What dance should I teach you first? Love and Joy? Or maybe Hare Hare Yukai? That was all the rage back when I lived in the Outside World..."

Reimu stared back at Sanae, her eyes lidded in unease as she limply let the other woman hold her hands. "I, of course, don't know what any of those phrases mean..." she muttered, a little intimidated. Cute modern names like that probably meant those really intricately complicated-looking dance routines that Sanae had randomly pulled out from time to time.

"Hm, hm." Sanae took her hands from Reimu and rubbed her chin thoughtfully, then nodded and clapped her hands together. "Well!" she beamed excitedly. "We're not gonna stop dating any time soon, so whatever dance I don't teach you tonight can be taught another time!"

Reimu blushed at Sanae's statement of intent and nodded meekly - the green-head definitely knew how to take the lead when she needed to.

"Hare Hare Yukai it is, then! Always start with the basics. For all I know, the Hare Hare Yukai isn't as 'in' as it used to be but no one in Gensokyo is gonna know that..." Sanae began to mumble to herself as she effortlessly straightened her posture. "Okay, Reimu. Stand to my side and watch my movement carefully. I'll do the main moves first, then I'll run you through them one-by-one for a bit."

' _Basics_ '. Reimu nodded determinedly. If Sanae was showing her a basic dance sequence, surely she could handle it.

She couldn't.

At least, not with the grace she would have liked. As she feared, the dance was a complicated series of energetic arm and leg movements, lots of bouncing side-to-side, just way too much going on at once. Sanae had it down almost perfectly, making it look so easy and simple as she matched precise hopping and limb movements to the basic rhythm of the Tsukumo sisters' music, but for Reimu everything just kind of blurred clumsily together.

And people began to stare - because this wasn't the kind of dance that people  _did_  in Gensokyo!! Well, no one besides Sanae...

Revelling in the attention, Sanae got more and more into it. She energetically repeated the whole dance routine over and over and even began to zealously sing the song the dance was supposed to go with. Reimu ran out of energy though... and slowed to a stop.

"Ph-phew..." Reimu sighed, awkwardly standing to the side as Sanae kept dancing. "I'm not sure I can keep up after all..." she laughed to herself awkwardly, rubbing the side of her head.

By now though, too many people were watching. As always, they were entertained by Sanae's energetic display of unfamiliar Outside World things, cheering and jeering and laughing.

"You better not be thinkin' of givin' up, Reimu!!" Marisa called from among the onlookers. "I have a bet on you bein' able to do this!"

Reimu's eyes lidded with irritation at Marisa. She didn't really appreciate the whole betting thing.

"Ehhhhh." the small, orange-haired oni from earlier shrugged. She was  _extremely_  drunk. "I got a bet againss’ 'er." A toothy grin spread across her face as she poured some sake from her huge gourd into her mouth. "So i’ss about wha' I e'spected... * _hic*_."

Reimu raised an eyebrow at the oni "Oh  _really_ , Suika?" she grinned intimidatingly with a fist on her hip, as Sanae and Marisa began to snort under their breath at how predictable this was. "Gimme that." the shrine maiden snatched the gourd out of Suika's hand and took a big swig of whatever probably-powerful sake was in there, then inelegantly wiped her mouth and handed the gourd back.

The crowd laughed and cheered as Reimu stomped back next to Sanae and, filled with a new determination and drunken vigor, really put her all into it this time. Of course, Reimu knew by now that alcohol favoured by oni was usually too strong for humans - but she had been hoping for something to dull her inhibitions anyway.

It was perhaps thanks to that, that the next hour or so passed in more of an entertaining blur. Reimu must have eventually gotten at least  _some_  of it right, because Sanae was joyously singing "Hare Hare Yukai" louder and louder each time they performed it. Drunken youkai even attempted to sing and dance along with them at various points, while the musicians attempted to play along to the melody of Sanae's infectious singing.

Somehow, Reimu had become a vital part of the life and soul of a Moriya Shrine party thrown for Sanae. Of course, Sanae was the real centre of attention - how Reimu figured it should be. She danced so beautifully, so full of charisma, surrounded by cheering, laughing, clapping. This was the green-head in her element; her sensational public speaking and performance ability utterly enchanting those around her.

Maybe it was the drink talking, but conflicting feelings creep back into Reimu's heart again as the dancing began to calm - and this time they were getting difficult to place.

After finishing the dance one last time, Sanae sluggishly bounded up to an evidently-exhausted Reimu. "Pheww!" she giggled and wrapped her arms around the red-white shrine maiden, squeezing her tight. "You did it!! That was so so so  _SO_  good, you were so great!"

Reimu's mood brightened slightly as the couple felt for each other's hands. "You were greater..." Reimu sheepishly rubbed Sanae’s palm with her thumb, but she blushed profusely behind her grin.

"So!?" Sanae unapologetically admitted. "You've never done this kind of thing before but you did it with such enthusiasm that I couldn't help but be impressed!" she smoothed it over. "Thank you so, so much for doing this with me... I haven't had that much fun in years." she squeezed Reimu's hand, kissing her on the cheek.

No longer wanting to listen to the annoying, mixed feelings in her heart, Reimu tilted her head into Sanae's face and kissed her back. "Sanae..." she nuzzled her girlfriend's cheek and possessively threw her arms over Sanae's shoulders. "Kiss?" she mumbled.

"Ehehe... geez." Sanae fluttered her eyes shut and tilted her head, locking lips with Reimu for a moment before pulling back and stroking Reimu's soft dark hair. "You really smell of booze, cutie."

Reimu flushed at Sanae's random compliment. "S-sorry. Does it bother you?" she buried her nose in Sanae's shoulder, taking in her scent. She kinda smelled like alcohol too.

"Nope." Sanae giggled and rubbed Reimu's back comfortingly. "Hey, are you okay?" she grasped Reimu by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

"Y-yeah I'm... fine..." Reimu lied. Badly. She wasn't a great liar - but this was supposed to be Sanae's night! She didn't want to ruin it with her stupid, unreasonable feelings. It could wait! "I just wanted to spend a little more quality time together with you." she saved herself with a white-lie.

Sanae raised an eyebrow and pouted slightly. She pinched Reimu's cheeks in her hands and headbutted her forehead. "Well, now we can see each other _way. more. often~_ " she giggled flirtily, a relieved warmth filling her chest as she remembered how much easier it would be for her to spend time with Reimu thanks to the ropeway.

Reimu tilted her head in drunken confusion for a few moments before her mouth took an 'O' shape in realisation. "O-oh! Oh my god, I didn't even think about that! Aaaahhhhh!!" her face lit up in bright red smiles and she squealed excitedly.

"S-seriously!? You ditz! Aaaaaaaahhh!!" Sanae intertwined her fingers with Reimu's and jumped excitedly with her.

"Shut uup, I don't have a speedy math brain like you do." Reimu joked, pulling her girlfriend into another kiss before she could banter back again. The couple cuddled and nuzzled together in drunken giggles and affection as the party went on around them.

Suddenly, a very loud whistling noise from someone nearby. "Oooooh!! Get some, Sanae!!" a very drunk Nitori hollered, while excitedly holding out what looked like a kappa-branded can of beer.

*Snap* *snap* came the very pronounced sound of a camera shutter. *Snap*. "You two are making this too easy at this point." Aya smirked as she playfully waved her camera in her wrist.

"Yeah, yeah, we get it." Reimu rolled her eyes and pouted as she pulled away from her snuggling, and tugged Sanae by the hand in the direction of the shrine. She suddenly turned back to look at Aya though, as she remembered Sanae’s reaction to Kanako’s speech earlier. "By the way," Reimu pointed threateningly, "I gotta few things to ask you later so don't even  _think_  of running away."

For once genuinely unsure of what exactly she had done wrong, Aya waved her hands defensively and laughed awkwardly as other party-goers shot her judgemental glares.

Away from the guests, the lights, the noises, Reimu and Sanae scurried around to the side of Moriya Shrine's main building. They both took deep breaths in as they drunkenly laughed together, Sanae twirling around with a carefree smile. Reimu had been holding a brimming cup of sake that she set to the side as she watched Sanae with a gentle, doting expression. The dark night air felt so much more refreshing over here... they felt like they could finally relax a little.

Still giggling, Reimu grabbed Sanae's wrist again and kissed her hand, before Sanae wormed her fingers to interlace themselves with Reimu's. Sanae tugged Reimu gently to the side of the building so they were obscured by the shrine's walkway and pillars, and Reimu smirked as she gently nudged the green-head into the wall.

"Mm..." Reimu breathed as she locked lips with Sanae, awkwardly bumping her girlfriend's head against the side of the shrine. Sanae giggled into the kiss "Mhmhm~" slinking one arm around Reimu's hips while Reimu clasped her other hand against the wall.

Sanae squeaked, her shoulders jolting slightly as she felt Reimu's tongue boldly brush against her lips during the kiss. She indulgently pulled Reimu tighter towards her.

After a few moments Reimu briefly pulled away, giggling with a red-flushed face. "Ooh, you're into sneak'n around at the side of your home like this huh?"

"Shhhh!" Sanae smirked, grabbing Reimu's jaw in her hand and gently pulling her towards herself again. "Less talky more kissy."

"I can't b'lieve you just said tha-." Reimu snorted back a laugh, snuggling up against Sanae.

"I'm not as drunk as you but I'm still drunk. Shush shush, kiss kiss!" Sanae fluttered her eyes shut and possessively hugged Reimu's head so their lips met again. The green-head wrapped both her arms around Reimu's neck, inviting Reimu to back her against the wall. Eager not to be outdone, she added a little tongue to the kiss herself this time.

Reimu smiled and briefly relaxed into the kiss, her smile becoming a smirk when she pulled away a few seconds later. "Gutsy. What if someone sees you being so assertive?"

"Oh my god, shut up! You did it first!" Sanae wheezed back a laugh, a dumb smitten smile plastered on her face. Again, the two shrine maidens fell into fits of giggles as they affectionately squished their faces together.

"Ahe-he-he- _hem_." A deep voice cleared her throat very, very conspicuously.

Sanae yelped her eyes open, her soul virtually leaping from her body in shock. She very ungracefully pushed Reimu off her and pressed her palm to her racing heart. "L-L-Lady Kanako!!" she squeaked, sweat evidently glossing on her extremely red face.

Steadfast despite the interruption, or just too drunk to care much, Reimu awkwardly turned her head and waved at the blue-haired goddess with an awkward smile on her face.

Kanako raised an eyebrow, smirking. "You lovebirds having a nice evening?" her deep voice effortlessly penetrated through the layers of Reimu's drunkenness.

"Yea!" Reimu nodded. "Issa great party Mrs Moriya!"

Sanae's eyes lidded at Reimu, who seemed to have somehow gotten drunker in the last minute. "It's been an amazing night! Thank you, Lady Kanako..." she tried to salvage the situation.

The elder goddess chuckled, hiding her mouth behind her curled wrist, her other hand on her hip. "Good, good... so what are you two doing back here then, I wonder?"

"I-I uh..." Sanae averted eye contact, sweat now practically waterfalling down her face as she hopelessly looked to Reimu for help.

Reimu crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow in thought, as she awkwardly stared Kanako back in the eyes. ' _C'mon Reimu, think... What would Kasen say in a situation like this?_ '

"Your daughter calls me mommy too."

' _WAIT WAIT, NO, WAIT, THAT'S WHAT MARISA WOULD SAY._ '

"Oh my god." mouthed a quietly screaming Sanae, her utterly beet-red face barely peeking out from behind her hands. She awkwardly reached for the sake cup Reimu had set down earlier and began to meekly sip from it - she just needed something besides Kanako to stare at for a bit.

Reimu's eyes flickered to briefly avert eye contact, her mouth hung limply open in shock at herself. Still, her drunken state was doing a good job at somehow keeping her fairly composed.

Kanako merely chuckled again, coolly maintaining eye-contact with Reimu. "Hmmm?" Her eyes lidded slightly as her glare intensified. "That reminds me. Have you two been sleeping together?"

Sanae loudly spat out her drink, accompanied by an outrageous coughing and spluttering sound. Reimu, however, remained focused on the enemy... a bold, telling smirk on her face.

Kanako continued. "I'm sure you know how improper it would be for a couple of holy women, like yourselves, to sleep together outside of wedlock." her eyes appeared to glint in the dark. She gave Reimu a look somehow far more intimidating than when they had battled ten years ago.

' _Talk about stuck in the past!?_ ' Reimu scowled bitterly, before inspiration quickly hit and she effortlessly matched Kanako's glare with a twinkle in her own eye.

"With all due respect, Kanako." Reimu disrespectfully neglected any form of honorific, her mouth spreading into a confident grin. "Isn't it a little... old- _fashioned_ , to stick to rules like that? We're very  _modern_  shrine maidens."

"Holy shit." Sanae croaked in monotone.

Kanako stared at Reimu's unwavering gaze for a few, long moments. Slowly though, a broad smile spread across the blue-haired god's face... and she burst into laughter.

"AHAHAHA _HAHAHA_!" Kanako roared, clutching her gut. "Oh, goodness!" she exclaimed as she jovially wandered over to a somewhat shellshocked-looking Sanae and slapped her on the shoulder. "She's the one, Sanae!  _She's the one!_ " she intentionally whispered very loudly to the green-head, making Reimu blush profusely behind her victorious grin.

"L-Lady Kanako..." Sanae squeaked in exasperation before sighing deeply. Her previously red face was now pretty pale from how nerve-wracking the past few minutes had been. "Did you really have to scare us like that...?"

"Oh come  _onn_!" Kanako flicked her wrist nonchalantly. "I just wanted to mess with Reimu a little, since I didn't have the opportunity to embarrass her in that speech earlier."

"Oh." Reimu's eyes lit up a little. She had seemingly sobered up a little thanks to her battle of wits with Kanako just now. "I actually wanted to ask you why y' didn't mention our relationship at all during the speech."

Sanae shot Reimu a confused look. "Huh? Is that's what's been bugging you tonight?"

Kanako raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "Why would you think I would do that?"

"W-well... we've been popular gossip lately." Reimu said, awkwardly clenching a fist. Sanae reassuringly cupped her hands over it as Reimu continued. "I just thought it'd make prime speech banter material, I guess."

Kanako frowned, staring at the red-white shrine maiden with concern. "It's quite simple; Suwako and I wanted to respect your privacy. Since neither of you act like you want all of Gensokyo to know about your relationship, well... we don't want to make a big deal out of it if you don't."

Reimu awkwardly averted eye-contact and stared at the ground. "Th-thanks... I appreciate it."

"Reimu..." Sanae rubbed her girlfriend's back, her other hand still holding Reimu's. She hadn't been even slightly surprised that Kanako didn't mention them in the speech, but it had became suddenly apparent to her that Reimu and Kanako still didn't know each other well at all.

The blue-haired goddess huffed a smile. "We'd much rather leave that sort of thing up to you. If you two ever wanted to make things more... matrimonial, though?" she winked. "You may struggle to keep news from spreading. I imagine another shrine maiden joining the Hakurei Clan would be a fairly big deal for Gensokyo, hm?" she put a finger to her chin and chuckled to herself thoughtfully.

Both shrine maidens flushed a deep red and averted eye-contact, but kept a firm grip on each others' hands.

"Anyway... I can't let the wife think I've been bullying you too much, so I should get back." Kanako sighed and ruffled Sanae's hair affectionately. "Before I go though... Reimu?"

"Y-Yeah?" Reimu looked up at Kanako again, a little anxiously.

"You can trust me. My respect for you is genuine, and not just because you're the Hakurei Shrine maiden." her expression softened into a warm smile. "I care about you - because any family of Sanae's is also family of Suwako's, and family of mine. You'll always have a second home at Moriya Shrine."

Reimu bit her lip.

"H-huh." the red-white shrine maiden smiled awkwardly, turning away from Kanako to face Sanae. "Thanks."

Sanae's eyes widened.

"Mm..." Kanako murmured, tilting her head with slight concern. "Are you... all right?"

"Yeah!" Reimu replied, her voice shaking a little. "I'm fine."

Sanae supportively squeezed Reimu's shoulder. "I think she's just been drinking a little too much! I'll make sure she gets some rest." the green-head beamed warmly at the elder goddess. "Thank you, Lady Kanako."

"I see..." Kanako sighed and smiled sheepishly at Sanae. "Then, I'll leave her to you." she turned around and began to head back towards the main grounds, which had already quietened down a little. "Enjoy the rest of the night, you two." she raised her hand in a relaxed wave.

Kanako finally out of earshot, Sanae gently held a hand to Reimu's cheek. Her hand was quickly dampened with tears.

"Reimu..." Sanae said, leaning her face in close to Reimu's. "Sweetie... y-you're crying..."

"G-god..." Reimu's voice cracked. She lifted her hands and gently gripped Sanae's comforting arms, leaning herself into the other woman's embrace. "The hell's up with me today? Ahaha..."

Sanae cuddled herself a little closer to Reimu and pecked her cheek, then pulled back and stroked her face, staring her sincerely in the eyes. "You _have_ been a little off... but now I'm worried. Was it something I said without thinking? Something Lady Kanako said?"

Reimu shook her head against Sanae's hand, sniffing with stuttered breaths as tears quietly trickled. "N-no. The f-family thing actually made me cry. 'C-cus... y'know, issues." she laughed weakly, coughing the odd sob as she rubbed her eyes with a shy smile on her face.

Sanae tilted her head and smiled too, but remained visibly concerned. "Okay, sweetie... but besides that? That sort of thing wouldn't have made you cry if you weren't already on-edge, you almost never cry."

"I underestimated how well you've gotten to know me." Reimu laughed awkwardly and kissed Sanae's comforting hand.

"Reimu." Sanae pouted, pinching Reimu's cheek and gently headbutting their foreheads together. "Tell me."

Reimu bit her lip, her head heating up as merely contemplating trying to put her dumb, complicated feelings into words overwhelmed and frustrated her.

"N-no." she whimpered. "This is  _your_  day! A day you worked so hard for, a day you fully, completely earned, and for once I wanted every fibre of my being to stop thinking about myself for just, one,  _second_! And focus on how truly, genuinely proud I am of the woman I love." words tumbled forth from her mouth, as trying to explain why she didn't want to talk ended up being fairly telling.

Reimu scrunched her eyes shut, her throat squeaking up meek weeps as her hands clutched Sanae tighter and she began to cry a little louder. "D-dammit... stupid booze..."

Sanae's mouth hung open a little as she briefly gazed, wide-eyed, at Reimu. She nodded and held Reimu's damp face in both her hands, smiling sweetly. "All right. Thank you, I think I understand a little." she giggled and kissed Reimu's forehead. "Maybe I should be grateful for alcohol every now and then for making you open your floodgates for me?"

Reimu grimaced, clutching Sanae's shoulder tighter as she started to panic, her heartbeat quickening. "N-no! You  _don't_  understand! I really hate that I ended up thinking about myself, that I ended up selfishly thinking about my shrine at all... I really, seriously wanted to just be completely happy for you like you deserved, without a single hint of doubt in my stupid, childish heart."

"Hey." Sanae ran a hand through Reimu's hair and huddled her arm around the other's back. "I know, I believe you. I've never been more certain that you're proud of me than I am right now... thank you." she gave Reimu an especially tight squeeze and held her head in her other hand.

"But it's okay... sure we're lovers, but we're still rivals right? I'd never expect you to become an unfeeling robot about that stuff. No matter how your complex feelings make you feel, I guarantee you I have similar ones sometimes. What matters is how we grow from those and treat each other... so I still want you to be honest and open with me, all right? Like always. I love you, I can handle it."

Reimu paused as meek, drunken whimpers continued to hiccup from her throat. She hugged Sanae more possessively and nuzzled her nose into her girlfriend's shoulder. "You won't leave me if I get jealous?"

"I can’t imagine what you have to be jealous about, but no." Sanae turned her head and mumbled into Reimu's ear, cradling her girlfriend in her arms. "Especially not when I know how badly you wanted to beat those feelings. Now spill what's upsetting you, or I'll make you perform 'Hare Hare Yukai' with me again."

Another pause from the red-white shrine maiden. "J-jealousy. I hate this..." She giggled a few quiet sobs as her brain stumbled over itself. "You were so incredible today, but my dumb idiot heart still ached in jealousy. Jealousy at how I've never seen that many humans outside the village before, let alone at my shrine. Jealousy at how beautiful and awe-inspiring your shrine really is, at how loving and proud your family is of you."

Sanae's eyes widened as she clutched Reimu protectively. She never imagined she'd hear such candid words of jealousy from the person she admired and idolised most. Tears of heartache began to build quietly in her own eyes.

Reimu laughed a little louder, clutching Sanae's shoulders and staring at the ground as another round of tears began to fall. "Pride is... I uh... I guess I know what it's like to be proud of myself, but not really what it's like for others to be proud of me. Sometimes I even have to  _pretend_  I'm proud of myself, just to keep myself going! But in reality I  _know_  my shrine is actually kind of a pathetic disaster." she sniffed loudly.

Sanae just gently shook her head, brushing her finger along Reimu’s cheeks. "It's not, Hakurei Shrine is beautiful. And people _always_ tell me how much more peaceful Gensokyo has become with you as its steward."

Reimu pouted, thinking of how to argue. Once again though, talking to Sanae had made the cruel words bouncing around in her head to suddenly feel... limper. Weaker. She didn't really know what to say now, and she had started to hear rowdy shouts and singing from the party again as her head finally began to quieten down. She sniffed again and coughed. "God, I really  _do_  have issues.”

"Can you blame you, though? Sanae giggled, rubbing Reimu's shoulders reassuringly. "Your shrine's deity never really even shows itself, does it?"

"Nope." Reimu rolled her eyes, her head hurting at the mere  _thought_  of the Hakurei God.

"Yeah, sounds hard to work with." Sanae hummed. She wiped an odd tear from her own eye before giving Reimu another tight squeeze. "But hey, look at you! You're finding it easier and easier to talk to me about your problems nowadays."

Reimu pulled back from the hug and wiped her eyes, tilting her head meekly. Sanae held her by the shoulders and stared at her dotingly before continuing. "It's nice for you to think about how far I've come and how much I've grown... but do that for yourself more. You have plenty to be proud of, and I'm proud of you too."

"You're jus' sayin' that..." Reimu mumbled drunkenly. She was grinning though, so she probably believed it on some level.

"You kidding?" Sanae smirked. "Maybe business is tough, but you handle that whole 'mystical Hakurei destiny' thing like it's  _nothing_! You make being a superhero look like second nature! Do you have  _any_  idea how  _cool_  that is to me?"

"Eh?" Reimu raised an eyebrow. "'Mystical Hakurei destiny'?" she huffed sarcastically.

"See!" Sanae giggled. "Sometimes it's like you forget what a big deal the Hakurei are, but I can't help but be amazed that my girlfriend is a real life hero! The one everyone goes to and relies on when Gensokyo is in trouble, right?"

Reimu sheepishly rubbed the back of her head, staring at the ground. She really didn't want to make this evening more about herself than she already had, but talking to Sanae had definitely helped her feel at peace with her confused feelings. "I uh... th-thank you. Have I mentioned lately how much I love you, Sanae?"

"Anything else bugging you?" Sanae wrapped her arms around Reimu's neck and pecked her cheek affectionately, showing no signs of having been bothered or upset.

"No, no no, that's enough. You've done enough and I wanna get back to celebrating  _you_." Reimu shut her eyes and sighed deeply, feeling Sanae giggle contentedly against her chest. For a few moments, the two cuddled in silence with their eyes closed, listening to each others' heartbeats.

"Uh, there is one thing actually." Reimu broke the silence, scratching her face awkwardly, "Are Kanako and Suwako actually married, or-."

"I have  _no_  idea." Sanae tried to mute her loud laughter "They act and talk like they are, but I've never even thought to ask them 'cus it never seemed important!"

Reimu finally laughed with her, rubbing her eyes clear of tears. "Ugh." she sniffed. Her stuffed up head finally felt clear. "Th-thanks... I dunno what came over me on today of all days. Maybe booze and jealousy aren't the best bedfellows after all... but I really owe you."

"You danced with me, so I think we're even." Sanae smiled sweetly, ruffling Reimu's hair affectionately.

"Uh, no! We're definitely not!" Reimu said in jokey exasperation. "Please let me make it up to you properly?"

Sanae's eyes lidded flirtily, and put a thoughtful finger to her chin. "I thoought you might say that~." she chirped. "So how about we go back out there and dance some more... but this time the more romantic kind of dancing?"

Reimu jerked her head back and gave Sanae a nervous glare, her face bright red and her lips trembling. "Uh-erm... l-like you would at a ball or banquet, or something?"

"Yyep." Sanae hummed, assertively clasping Reimu's hand in hers', her other hand on Reimu's hip, and playfully swayed them both side to side. "It's another thing I've always wanted to do with you."

Reimu squeaked, her eyes flickering around awkwardly. "B-b-but no one else is dancing like that, it'd attract a lot of attentio-..."

" _Let_  them stare." Sanae nuzzled Reimu's cheek affectionately. "Think of it this way... we get to show each other off. The Hakurei Shrine maiden I'm so proud of is all mine, and the Moriya Shrine maiden you're so proud of is all yours."

"Sanae..." Reimu mumbled. Her heart was racing... but the anxiety she had felt before was slowly overwhelmed with excitement. "You're getting better at making your arguments really convincing." she grasped Sanae's hand back.

Hand in hand, the two boastful women beamed at each other as they strolled lightly back to the shrine grounds.

Sanae's brief absence from her own party had, of course, been noticed. Eyes were unsurprisingly trained on the couple as they headed to the centre of the shrine grounds, faced one another, and curtsied.

"Care to dance, my love?" Reimu smirked. She raised an eyebrow flirtily and suavely took Sanae's hand in her own, determined to make Sanae blush. She succeeded.

"Seeing you so readily into this is really going to make my whole night." Sanae whispered into Reimu's ear as they began to slowly sway from side to side in each others' embrace.

Reimu giggled warmly, leaning her head against Sanae's. "Impressive, considering what an amazing day you've already had."

"Mhm." Sanae nodded, a delighted and smitten smile spreading across her face.

She rested her free hand on Reimu's hip, felt Reimu's calm breathing against her chest.

"Probably... the best day of my life. And the fact I could share this happiness with you? Makes me the happiest girl in the world."

At some point since they had started dancing, the Tsukumo sisters' music begun to slow to a more tranquil and romantic pace.

Not that Sanae or Reimu really noticed.

And they knew that they'd be the centre of attention for the rest of the night, stares and occasional whoops from their friends and acquaintances included.

Not that it bothered them.

Reimu and Sanae swayed gently back and forth, syncing their steps, their rhythms, their heartbeats. They experienced a warm peace in each other that was theirs, and theirs alone. They held their other delicately yet firmly; as if she were an amazing spectacle to be admired, yet dearly protected.

_'Look at this incredible woman, Gensokyo. Look at all the amazing things she has achieved!'_

_'This shrine maiden is my treasured Sanae._ **|**   _This shrine maiden is my treasured Reimu.'_

_'And I am so, so proud of her.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another of my favourite chapters is finally here! This was possibly my favourite chapter to write in the whole story, and that may be partially due to the fact it's probably the funniest.
> 
> Of course it's extremely hammy too, and I cried a little while writing the conclusion. I listened to the album "Retrospective 53 Minutes" a lot while writing it, and especially "The Purest Sky and Sea" towards the end, which is a track I kinda love now. Thanks ZUN. If you like Touhou music and haven't heard it yet, please check it out!
> 
> I know I said last week that I planned to upload a chapter every week, but I hope you don't mind waiting an extra week for the next chapter because I want to give it a little extra work (Smash Bros. comes out this Friday after all...).
> 
> I'm thinking I'll release ch7 and 8 closer together to make up for it. They're the finale (for now) and are focused on how much of a mess Sanae can be, so look forward to them!
> 
> \-------------------------------------  
> Glossary:  
> Bunbunmaru: the "Bunbunmaru Newspaper", Aya Shameimaru's fairly sensationalist newspaper  
> tsukumogami: a type of youkai born from a tool or object that has been inhabited by one of Shinto's myriad gods  
> Tsukumo sisters: A duo of instrument tsukumogami from Touhou14, Benben and Yatsuhashi Tsukumo. Not technically sisters, they call themselves sisters because they became sentient at the same time.  
> tengu: a goblin-like youkai, often anthropomorphic crows  
> kappa: an aquatic goblin-like youkai curious towards humans.  
> oni: an incredibly physically strong youkai, comparable to a demon or ogre. In Touhou, they are quite a rare youkai.


	7. Crush Your Rival!

Thanks to the new ropeway, 2017 turned out to be an incredible year for Moriya Shrine. it was finally safe and convenient for humans to visit, so of course it made a huge difference in the day-to-day lives of Gensokyo’s residents.

However... while it was easier than ever for Reimu and Sanae to spend time together, the two shrine maidens had also been busier than ever - for entirely different reasons.

Reimu had gotten caught up in two fairly significant incidents, events that had altered her very understanding of the forces at play in Gensokyo. Meanwhile, Sanae had been so wrapped up in Moriya Shrine business that both incidents had been resolved before she could even  _think_  about having time to get involved herself.

The couple just hadn't been able to spend as much quality time together as they had initially hoped, despite the ropeway’s convenience.

' _Still!_ ' Sanae excitedly thought to herself, as she flew down to Hakurei Shrine during the final week of the year. ' _Maybe now we can work together to give Gensokyo the best New Year's shrine visit experience ever!’_

Sanae was dressed in her winter cutest, her bright yellow scarf knotted into an adorable large ribbon - and she was fired up to give Reimu her very best sales pitch! A contented grin spread across her face as she remembered how hard Reimu had worked during the ropeway opening back in the spring, and how amazing that day had turned out for both of them.

The green-head had been working especially hard the last few months, so the thought of some mutual encouragement between Reimu and herself was really motivational.

When Sanae finally arrived at Hakurei Shrine, she briskly approached the shrine grounds while carefully maintaining her composure... but when she got there, she saw Reimu laid lazily on the steps to the shrine building, grumbling to Marisa and Kasen about something. Reimu didn't even bat an eyelid as her girlfriend approached, she just seemed weirdly aloof and jittery.

' _Shouldn't she be more fired up!?_ ' Sanae pouted, admittedly a little annoyed at the laid back atmosphere here. ' _It's the end of the year! It's the time Shinto shrine maidens are supposed to be working hardest!! Unless she wants to work together we're going to wipe the floor with her...’_

"What are you doing?" Sanae asked inquisitively as she landed behind Kasen at the bottom of the steps, who turned to smile sheepishly at her.

"O-oh, h-hello there." Reimu jolted awkwardly when she finally noticed Sanae, sweat noticeably beading on her face. "Did you need something?"

Reimu was wearing a fluffy white scarf, but the weather was nowhere near hot enough for sweat. So... she was irritated, huh? Was she mad at Sanae about something? Rich, for Reimu to get irritated at her girlfriend when they hadn't spent proper time together in months. Worse, she was apparently lazing about at such an important time of year!?

"Oh, it's just-" Sanae grinned and chuckled to herself, slipping on a layer of defensive bravado to hide her frustration at Reimu's seemingly lax attitude. "Sorry to bother you when you're so  _busy_  at the end of the year, but our new years event has gotten an even larger response than we expected."

"O-oh. Really." Reimu grinned stiffly, her eyes scrunched and her eyebrow twitching. "Good for you. So what brings you here?" her poor attempt at smiling wasn’t fooling Sanae. She looked mad, and her words _stunk_ of insincerity.

Sanae's blood began to boil. Fine! If Reimu wasn't going to take the Moriya Shrine seriously, she would just deliver her little pitch to Reimu wrapped in a little more  _competitive spirit_  than she had initially intended!

"Looks like we won't have enough manpower at the Moriya Shrine. So I was hoping we could work together?" she asked confidently. In truth, she loved the idea of working with Reimu! But if Reimu was unwilling? She _refused_ to let the red-white underestimate her.

"Work together? How?" Reimu mumbled, squinting in irritation.

What did she mean  _how_!? She thought Sanae's idea was stupid or something? Sanae's fight-or-flight mode kicked into overdrive, her defensive side bubbling to the surface.

"We just don't have enough shrine maidens." Sanae's voice escalated as she beamed a glowing, plastic smile at Reimu and the others. "So we'd love it if you could sell fortune slips for us. _Ha!_ " she laughed haughtily, with enough swagger to topple a lesser-youkai.

An awkward silence hung the air for a few, long moments. Reimu frowned, glaring at Sanae from underneath her exasperated eyelids. Sanae glared back firmly, placing her hands adamantly on her hips.

"I'll think about it." Reimu finally flicked her hand indifferently.

So a no, then.

"Now if that'll be all, I'm discussing important,  _Hakurei Shrine_  things, with Marisa and Kasen."

Marisa and Kasen looked at each other, their eyes awkwardly widened. "Uuuhhhh... What just... happened?" Marisa monotonously mumbled, increasingly wishing she was somewhere else in that moment. All Kasen could think to do was awkwardly bite her tongue.

"I see!" Sanae tilted her head with a greatly exaggerated pout, then span around on her heel and marched back for the shrine entrance. Turning back once more, she shrugged theatrically "In that case, you can just stop by whenever you have free time, ahaha!"

Sanae's eyes locked with Reimu's for a moment, both of them frowning, both of them tired. Sanae threw her nose up and lazily waved a hand. "Best of luck with... whatever." she taunted before taking off into the air, increasingly eager to not hang around a second longer.

"Yeah, same to you." Reimu muttered quietly, sighing deeply.

...

' _Oh god, that went terribly._ ' Sanae clutched her head in her hands, her unfocused eyes staring at the ground, her jaw hung open as she replayed the scene over in her head at Moriya Shrine a little while later. ' _That went so so so badly._ '

"Miss Kochiya, are you... okay?" a middle-aged visitor frowned in concern, as he beheld the shrine maiden's flabbergast expression.

Sanae snapped back to reality "Y-yes!" She smiled politely, easily regaining her carefully manufactured air of composure, and bowed her head gently. "Thank you so much for your patronage, as always. The gods will surely smile upon you and your family!"

"Thank you, see you again." he bowed politely in return, then headed back towards the ropeway.

Sanae wiped her brow as she stared at the setting sun. "Pheww..." she heaved a stressed sigh and finally dropped her public persona for the night. "Better get shovelling snow again..." she mumbled to herself, trying breathlessly to keep her noisy head occupied, trying to keep the dwelling at bay.

Yes, Sanae was still a workaholic. This year though, she felt her overwork actually was actually somewhat necessary. Moriya Shrine's significantly higher visitor-count logically meant that her workload had significantly increased, right?

The big payoff would hopefully be the shrine's exciting New Year event... the first since the ropeway opened. This meant she had to work even  _harder_  to make sure the shrine's reputation was in tip-top shape for attracting as many worshippers as possible to the event! But to say that Sanae's visit to Hakurei Shrine had made her even more stressed than before would be an understatement.

"Reimu..." Sanae grumbled as she leant on her shovel, her eyes lidded in resentment.

"All finished for the day, Sanae?" came a cheerful voice from nearby. A short blonde goddess had appeared in Sanae's field of view, waving cheerfully.

"Ah, Lady Suwako!" Sanae's expression brightened up - but only a little. "Yes, I'm just doing a little shovelling before I stop for the evening."

Suwako hopped down the steps from the shrine building and tilted her head at Sanae. "Mmmmm? What's the point if it's gonna snow overnight?"

"G-geez, Lady Suwako..." Sanae huffed a smile. "You almost sound like Reimu when you say stuff like that..."

"Oh!" a playful grin spread across Suwako's face. "How is she! You saw her today, didn't you?"

"Don't remind me..." Sanae slouched over the shovel again, groaning. "She seemed really mad at me, but I've been playing the conversation over and over again and I guess I may not have helped matters much..."

Suwako flopped over carefreely into the snow and started waggling her limbs to make shapes where she had fallen. "And to think, in the spring you were so convinced you'd never fight again! Some things between you girls just never change."

Sanae pouted and sighed deeply again as she stood up and faced Suwako. "I-I'm kinda worried that Reimu isn't taking this seriously... then Moriya Shrine will crush her on New Years, and then her soul will be crushed, and then..."

"Okay, but what's worrying gonna do?" Suwako hopped up again and onto the shovel handle in front of Sanae. Somehow, she balanced delicately enough to not topple it over as she ruffled Sanae's green hair. "If it’s bugging you why don’cha go visit her again soon instead of worrying, huh?"

Sanae opened her mouth to argue, but at this point it would be little more than venting. "I uh... yeah, you're probably right." she sighed audibly, her stomach churning with a discomforting uncertainty. "I'll go visit Hakurei Shrine again soon."

...

Sanae's successive visits to Hakurei Shrine weren't particularly productive either, however.

Yes the trip was much quicker and less exhausting than it used to be... but a few sarcastic hand-waves from Reimu made Sanae feel like she was still just wasting her increasingly precious time.

"Oh, don't mind us! Continue working on your  _incredible_  New Years event!"

"Don't you have anything more important to do?"

"You sure you can afford to be messing around here?"

After this repeated for a few days, Sanae was able to calm down a little. Reimu, at least, didn't seem to still be mad at her. The red-white shrine maiden had instead resorted to some kind of competitive taunting.

Sanae's anxiety didn't let up much though... Reimu had seemed so distant since their clash, after all, and that didn't seem to be changing. Sanae had meekly peered in to the Hakurei Shrine building a few times to see Reimu, Marisa and Kasen fervently discussing and planning... something.

They excitedly teased Sanae about their plans at first, but eventually just seemed like they were outright ignoring her. Nothing they were talking about sounded particularly New Yearsy either... something about 'building large scale attractions'? Whatever that meant...

"Ugh." Sanae mumbled to herself as she traipsed the snow-coated grounds of Hakurei Shrine one afternoon, anxiously kicking her long brown boots through a particularly large snow poff. "Well... at least they're taking  _something_  seriously."

' _Wish she wouldn't ignore me like this, though._ ' she thought. Her eyes lidded in frustration as she stared at the shrine building for the umpteenth time, hoping hopelessly for something to have changed in the last minute. Nothing.

' _Guess I should just head back and focus on Moriya Shrine for the next few days..._ '

As Sanae began to crunch through the snow to the shrine's entrance though, she could have sworn she felt a pair of eyes trained on her. Spinning around and scanning, she spotted it: a short green-haired girl standing patiently in the snow, almost as still as a statue. Her head even appeared to have snow piling on top of it...

"Hi!" She smiled sweetly as she noticed Sanae looking at her.

"H-hi..." Sanae responded quietly. "Are you okay? It's cold out here."

The girl nodded enthusiastically and plodded towards Sanae. "I'm okay! It's my job to guard this shrine anyway, so the cold doesn't bother me."

Sanae noticed that the short girl had long, dark green ears and a horn on her head. The way her hair appeared to flow like a lion's mane made of seafoam definitely made an impression too. "Uh?" Sanae tilted her head and held her hand to her chin. The girl looked somewhat familiar, but... Sanae would have remembered if Hakurei Shrine had a guard. "Where did you come from, exactly?"

"I've always been here, Miss Sanae!" the girl beamed pleasantly, somehow emitting a genuine warmth that took an edge off the biting cold weather. "But we were only properly acquainted at the Four Seasons Incident's resolution party in the summer."

Sanae briefly thought back... there were a bunch of unfamiliar faces at that party, probably those involved in the incident - but she suddenly remembered the small newcomer at least. Or 'oldcomer', rather? "Umm... Miss Komano, was it?" Sanae smiled at her.

"Yep! Aunn Komano!" she replied, holding her hand out like a paw. "Hakurei Shrine's steadfast guardian komainu!"

"It's nice to see you again, Aunn!" Sanae held a delighted hand to her own cheek as she shook the komainu's hand like a paw. Sanae had heard from Reimu earlier in the year that some objects had been filled with life-energy during the Four Seasons Incident, which had even caused one of Hakurei Shrine's komainu to come to life. "Gosh, you're just way too adorable!"

"Thanks..." Aunn blushed lightly and rubbed the back of her head, but she appeared to very much take the compliment in her stride. "So, Miss Sanae, what brings you here today?"

Sanae blinked at Aunn for a moment, before her eyes briefly darted over towards the shrine building. She had almost forgotten how frustrated she was about Reimu. "O-oh... the same thing I keep coming for, I guess." she crossed her arms and pouted a little, before glancing at Aunn again.

Aunn had been far more polite to her than Reimu, Marisa or Kasen had been this past week. So, she wondered... "Hey, uh... I don't suppose you'd mind helping out at Moriya Shrine for New Years? That is, if you're not needed a lot here."

To Sanae's surprise, Aunn immediately nodded with enthusiasm. "Yes! Actually, I was already planning on doing that. It doesn't seem like my help is needed at this place, so I'm happy to help at Moriya Shrine!"

A beaming smile slowly spread across Sanae’s face, a muted excitement igniting inside her. "Th-thank you! Thank you so much! We're really going to need it, you won't regret this, it's an amazing shrine!"

Aunn beamed back at Sanae and clenched her fists playfully. "I really can't wait to see it! I adore shrines!" Aunn said, before tilting her head and staring at Sanae curiously. "So then, uhm, I'll see you in a few days?"

Sanae nodded warmly. "Definitely! I should actually be getting back to focus on preparations, but thank you so much again!" the shrine maiden waved gratefully and turned around to leave.

... But a sudden tug at her heart reminded her, again, of why she kept lingering at Hakurei Shrine. She sighed to herself as she realised that she had even when Aunn had asked her why she was here, she simply changed the subject and pretended it was something else. No... Aunn saying she would help ultimately didn't help calm the churning feeling in Sanae's guts at all.

"U-uhh... actually," Sanae stopped in her tracks, and turned her head to face Aunn. "Sorry if this is weird... but I have an important question. As Hakurei Shrine's guardian... I was hoping you'd be able to answer?"

"As long as I'm not betraying Miss Reimu or the Hakurei, I'm happy to help in any way I can!" the komainu nodded politely.

"R-right... obviously!" Sanae held her hand to her beating chest and took a sharp breath in. "Um... Reimu still uh... l-loves me, right?" she averted eye-contact, as just _asking_ the question made her heart feel like it was being gripped in a vice.

In fact, just asking it made Sanae feel stupid, made her feel lonely, made her suddenly painfully aware of how little she had actually even _seen_ Reimu over the past year. How... distant they had somehow become. Despite promising she'd see Reimu more because of the ropeway... fears flooded into her mind within microseconds, the moment her words left her tongue.

Aunn responded almost immediately though, snapping Sanae back to reality despite those tiny microseconds feeling like they lasted far too long. "Of course!" The komainu’s face turned a happy pink, "She loves you more than almost anything, Miss Sanae."

Sanae turned away from Aunn and took a deep breath in. She held her hand to her heart as the sickly jittery feeling she felt in her limbs finally thawed slightly, a merciful calm helping her nerve-wracking thoughts to settle. She’d had no idea how heavily this fear had settled inside her until just now.

"Thank you." Sanae said awkwardly, not wanting to make a deal out of it any further. "I'll see you in a few days, Aunn!" she briefly grinned back at the komainu, before taking off at a spirited run and flying back home.

...

In the end, though... Sanae never did get to see Reimu again before the New Year. 

* * *

> **(2018)**

Of course, Reimu and the others never showed up to Moriya Shrine's big New Year event either. God was it a tough couple of days, even for a workaholic like Sanae.

Moriya Shrine was offering amazing views of the New Year sunrise from the top of Youkai Mountain as one of its attractions, which meant Sanae had barely slept the night before. She ended up dealing with shrine visitors for a good 14 hours or so straight.

Aunn did turn up though, like she said she would - and she really was an amazing help. In fact, the whole thing went extremely well, becoming an unprecedented success for Moriya Shrine and Sanae herself.

But Sanae was completely exhausted and worn out... and the rumours she had heard about Hakurei Shrine certainly didn't help ease her conflicting feelings about Reimu.

"Did you hear that the Hakurei Shrine turned into some kind of showy theme park?"

"A family down the street from us went there for their New Year shrine visit, only to say the entire place just looked really garish..."

"Is that shrine becoming a joke? You'd think that youkai shrine maiden would have learnt by now..."

Yeah, Sanae felt amazingly fulfilled for Moriya Shrine. Yeah, she was delighted that Aunn had done so much to help. Yet despite this, and despite her uncanny ability to wear a fake smile when she needed to... hearing about Hakurei Shrine, how it just sounded like they were  _messing around_  while she worked her butt off almost alone? It was just... just...

"...They said something about building 'large scale attractions'..." Sanae grumbled to herself as people headed home at the end of the event "But who would want something like that on New Years Day?"

Before she knew it, she was pitying Reimu, smiling and laughing to herself awkwardly. Catching herself, she slapped her hands to her cheeks. ' _Ugh... just focus on this for now Sanae, it's not worth getting so angry about..._ '

But she  _was_  angry, and she _stayed_ angry.

Sanae doubled down and focused on Moriya Shrine for most of the next month, trying her best to even forget the Hakurei Shrine existed. Trying to wrap her head around the rumours was just too stressful, and she hated the idea of confronting them directly even more.

She felt Reimu owed her an apology, some kind of explanation for why she had so royally screwed up something that should have been so important. Reimu never turned up, though, and Sanae sure as _hell_ wasn't going to see her either. Why should she be the one to reach out when Reimu was the one who messed up?

It was infuriating! Sanae had been working so, so hard for so many years to make Moriya Shrine a success, but this almost felt like Reimu... barely even _cared_ about Hakurei Shrine. It wasn't fair. Hakurei Shrine was arguably the single most important place in Gensokyo, and Reimu was just.  _Messing. Around._  Languishing her huge responsibility. Her incredible fantastical destiny. Treating it like a  _joke_.

' _Hakurei Land?_ ’ Sanae scoffed.  _How could she... How could she!?_ ' intrusive thoughts shouted at her with rising intensity as she worked, resentful at how she perceived Reimu to be acting. Increasingly occupied with her head's conjured-up narrative, increasingly convinced of its validity.

Then, as if fate itself was taunting her a couple of weeks after the New Year, the usual flow of worshippers to Moriya Shrine began to decline. Great. Perfect!

It wasn't her imagination, either. At first she wondered if she was, but the trend of visitors certainly seemed to be dropping.

She knew because she counted them. She counted _every day_.

"... And it doesn't match up to the regular fluctuations of visitors pre-New Year, either..." she muttered to herself, ducking down around the shrine's torii gates to check for any signs of dirt, scraped paint, scuffs. "Mmgh... New Years was only a few weeks ago, but the number of visitors has fallen below early-December numbers..."

Sanae patrolled obsessively around the shrine grounds, wearing a strained, plastic smile. She looked for anything out of place. Anything missing. Anything...

"No, that looks perfect, I've checked over it a dozen times today already..." she chewed her already very-bitten fingernails, tapping her foot irritably on the ground and trying to ignore the increasingly painful ache in her achilles tendon.

"Hey, Sanae."

"Hmm..." she began to pace back and forth, staring at the ground in thought. "Miss Kinoshita from the village usually visits by this hour on Thursdays... so where is she?" she looked towards the ropeway and bit her chapped bottom lip, the taste of her lipstick helping her to ignore the faint taste of blood.

"Sanaeee...? Hello?"

Not right now. She was busy. God, her eyes felt so inconveniently heavy, too... "Agh, dammit!" Sanae grimaced under her breath and jolted as a prick of snow hit her nose. "I should get a head start on making sure the path remains clear of snow, I don't want it to cause any issues for the visitors..." she aggressively snatched the large snow shovel from nearby.

"Sanae!! Moriya to  _Sanae Kochiya_!!"

A shadowy figure suddenly appeared on the handle of Sanae's large shovel, and Sanae felt a small, sudden flicking pain on her forehead. "A-ah!!" Sanae breathed in sharply through her gritted teeth as her hands rushed to clasp her own forehead. " _H-hey!!_ "

Finger outstretched towards Sanae's forehead and the other fist on her hip, Suwako was once again stood skilfully on Sanae's shovel in order to stay at eye-level with the taller goddess. "Hey." the blonde goddess frowned.

"O-oh...!" Sanae's expression lightened a little, but was accompanied by panic. "L-Lady Suwako! I'm sorry, I was j-just uh... I-I'll g-get right back to work!" She fumbled over her words and jumped back, before awkwardly reaching towards the shovel Suwako was stood on.

"Oh no you won't." Suwako gripped Sanae's shoulder to stop her from going anywhere, again showing her uncanny ability to remain balanced. "Sanae, when was the last time you took any time for yourself? You've been holed up on this mountain since the New Year..." she hopped down from the handle and took Sanae by the hand, tugging her over towards the shrine building's steps. "C’mere. Sit."

Sanae did as she was instructed, but avoided eye-contact with her ancestor. Suwako carefully cupped Sanae's cheek in her hands and closely studied her face, turning her head a little, while Sanae tried to look away in shame. "Eesh, you look like crap." the blonde smiled gently.

Out of nowhere, Sanae's eyes welled up with tears. "O-oh, I see, no wonder less visito-"

"Oh my god come off it, stop thinking about the visitors for a second." Suwako held Sanae's cheeks in her hands and made the younger goddess lock eyes with her. "Your eyes look kinda dead. You haven't been sleeping properly?"

"I've been working hard..." Sanae pouted weakly, her mind scurrying for excuses. "B-but it hasn't been enough..."

"Just listen to me, silly girl!" Suwako glared Sanae in the eyes. "Shopping aside you haven't stepped foot off the mountain for almost a month, you're not sleeping, you're probably not eating enough either, are you?"

"P-please stop treating me like a kid-" Sanae languidly tried to argue.

"Then stop acting like one." Suwako raised an eyebrow. Sanae opened her mouth to argue again, but Suwako continued before she could; "I already know you're gonna say you've been working, but our faith-level is perfectly healthy, and if the Moriya Shrine family isn't happy then what exactly are we working so hard for?" she placed a comforting hand on Sanae's head.

"L-Lady Suwako..." Sanae pouted, staring dejectedly down at Suwako's shoes. She... couldn't fault Suwako's words. She couldn't argue back. Her shoulders slumped as the reality began to set in. "I-I'm... sorry..."

"Honestly..." Suwako put her fists on her hips again and sighed, her expression finally softening slightly. "Kanako and I knew you were a workaholic, but we thought you knew how to take care of yourself... We weren't attentive enough. You were struggling, and neither of us noticed 'til it was too late. So... I'm sorry too, Sanae."

Tears began to trickle quietly from Sanae's eyes. Her pride for her hard work felt like it was being scolded, but she was ashamed that she had made Suwako worry about her. Still, why was she  _crying_? So over-dramatic. It wasn't like Suwako was being scathing, she had dealt with much worse criticism in the past from much worse people. "P-please don't apologise I-I... I'm..."

Suddenly though, Sanae’s whole mind felt like it was in chaos. Like she'd been trying to hold a bunch of scary thoughts at bay and they'd all finally come crashing through the gates at once. She hadn't realised just how much she felt like she was about to explode until she'd stopped to think about it.

Sensing that Sanae was nowhere near as okay as she pretended to be, Suwako finally sat down next to her and tightly gripped her hand. "There's no one around right now, so... talk to me. What's up? You haven't seen Reimu in a while, have you?"

"U-ugh..." Sanae bit her lip and scrunched her eyes shut, a round of tears now tumbling quicker down her cheeks. "R-Reimu..." her voice trembled into a meek whimper. That was the one thing she had desperately been avoiding thinking about. She’d been trying to work so hard that she didn’t have time to think.

"Mm. Reimu, huh?" Suwako sighed, finally getting an idea of why Sanae had let herself get into this state. She comfortingly rubbed Sanae's shoulder. "Y'know... sometimes I get the feeling that spreading belittling rumours and making stuff up about Reimu Hakurei is one of modern Gensokyo's favourite pastimes. Don't you agree? People really get addicted to that stuff."

Sanae's eyes widened in muted realisation... and shame. Her aching heart felt strained, like it was being pulled in two directions at once. She stared down at her boots, her hands quivering in the cold, her breathing stuttered by exhaustion and tears. "B-but I... I didn't..."

Suwako raised an eyebrow and smirked, "I didn't say you did." the small goddess stood up again. She ruffled Sanae's hair and kissed her warmly on the forehead. Sanae had fallen quiet, gripping her knees in her hands, her mouth hung open as tears silently trickled from her eyes.

"Go inside and eat something. I'm gonna ask someone to come visit and talk to you, okay? Don't worry, it's not Reimu." Suwako reassured as she hopped down the steps and headed in the direction of Suwa Lake. "After you talk to her, though? Kanako and I are putting you on curfew until you get a proper night's sleep."

"C-curfew? What!?" Sanae's voice cracked, more from shock than anger.

"It's not a punishment! We just won't let you overwork yourself into a breakdown like this again, Sanae. We love you, you know?" Suwako turned towards the fledgling goddess with a wink, before hopping towards the lake.

Sanae, still tormented by her own confused thoughts, was too emotionally and physically exhausted to do anything but nod quietly. She picked herself up, wiped her eyes, and limply shuffled inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything is better with Aunn. It's almost painful that I couldn't introduce her til now...
> 
> I know I said I might post this + ch8 both this week, but I'd like to flesh ch8 out a little more still. It should be up this time next week! I'm also working on a little something extra that I hope I'll be able to post not too long afterwards.
> 
> Wanting to adapt ch43 of Wild and Horned Hermit from Sanae's PoV to explore her antagonistic attitude was something I've been wanting to do since I started writing this story, as was doing some more Sanae-focused chapters in general. In the end, it tied in really nicely with the defensiveness and workaholic issues she showed in earlier chapters.
> 
> You may have noticed my attempts at giving Reimu and Sanae very human and relatable issues throughout the story. Sanae's fears and uncertainties in this chapter are things that I know many people have suffered through (including myself). Things can be really hard at this time of year, but please don't forget to look after yourselves.
> 
> Look forward to next week's finale to see how the ending of WaHH43 affects Sanae's character arc for this story!
> 
> PS. for those wondering, "Miss Kinoshita" is not a reference to anything, just a name for a random human villager.  
> \-------------------------------------  
> Glossary:  
> komainu: literally "lion-dog", a statue commonly intended to guard shrines and temples.


	8. Tough Love

“Knock knock, a gentle sound rapped at the door of Sanae's room. Sanae, after  _another_  lecture on taking care of yourself from Kanako, as well as some warm bowls of soup and rice, had been urged to return to her room and take it easy.

"Come in." Sanae meekly responded, making herself sit up neatly. "Sorry for the mess, I've just been using the futon.”

"Excuse me." came a polite, familiar voice, as Kasen entered the room. The pink-haired woman briefly scanned Sanae's room - it certainly didn't look like the room of someone who had overworked herself to the brink of tears.

Everything, including the futon Sanae had been resting on, was immaculately clean. Almost unnaturally so. Books that must have come from the Outside World were arranged by alphabetically, but with pages that appeared a little bent - indicating Sanae still regularly read them and cleaned them back away. Posters of colourful characters and people Kasen didn’t recognise lined the walls, surprisingly crinkle and dust-free despite their age.

Even her bedding looked fresh... but Kasen supposed that made sense. The other goddesses had been pampering the poor fledgling goddess a little this evening, after all.

"It's been a while, Sanae. Oh, thank you." the woman awkwardly but delicately knelt on a cushion near the low table that Sanae had gestured towards. Kasen continued, "I heard the New Year event went very well indeed!"

"It did, thank you..." Sanae trailed off slightly and tilted her head, confused.  "Why... why are you here, Miss Kasen?"

Kasen smiled sheepishly and tilted her own head. "Erm... well, a bunch of Kajika frogs suddenly came to my house, pleading me to come speak with you. If I didn’t, they said Lady Suwako had threatened to double their singing practise..."

Sanae's eyes lidded in disbelief as Kanako gently strolled in with a tray of tea. She poured a cup for Kasen, then for Sanae, and set them on the low table to the side of Sanae's futon.

"Oh, thank you Lady Kanako." Kasen blinked, seeming a little taken aback by the god's hospitality. Sanae was too, she was used to being the one who waited on visitors.

"A word of advice..." Kanako's deep voice invited their attention as she stood up again. "As tempting as it can be to lie to protect someone's feelings sometimes, I don't think that sort of thing will help anyone today." Kanako smiled warmly, gently sliding the door behind her as she left. Kasen sighed and rubbed her forehead; she had seemingly understood what Kanako was getting at.

The two took quiet sips of tea... it was delicious. After eating and lying down with her thoughts for a while, the flavours infused in the tea sent an exquisitely energising and satisfying warmth rushing through every corner of Sanae's scalp. She breathed in deeply... then out.

"I think Lady Suwako wanted me to come here because she knows how I like to nose in on peoples' issues, so... I'll be direct." Kasen set her cup down and shut her eyes in thought for a moment. "Sanae, what's going on with you and Reimu?"

"Why, are you worried?"

"Concerned, would be a better way to put it." Kasen held her cold hand around her hot cup as she spoke. "It's difficult not to root for you two as a couple, but Reimu has been acting very strangely since the end of last year... and now I hear you've been off yourself."

Sanae stared down at the table between them, pouting. After thinking for a little while, she felt... stupid. But Kasen hadn't come all the way here to hear Sanae say 'everything's fine' either. Her expression became serious as she took a sharp breath in and spoke.

"I took Moriya Shrine's New Years event very seriously and, to be blunt, it sounds like Reimu didn't. At all. I've been mad about that, so I haven't wanted to see her."

"Mm?" Kasen crossed her arms and tapped her finger on her elbow in thought. "Is that why your attitude at the end of last year was so insulting? To invoke some sort of competitive spirit in Reimu?"

' _Insulting_ '? Sanae couldn't help but bite her lip at Kasen's candid honesty. "Erm." her eyes darted around awkwardly. "I had hoped some competitiveness would motivate her, yes... b-but..." she sighed, her stomach tying itself in knots as she replayed the scene in her mind yet again. "M-my attitude wasn't an intentional part of that. I'm, uh... sorry..."

Kasen tilted her head and nodded to herself, as if things were fitting into place in her head. "I'm going to be honest, your attitude that day made me finally understand, after almost a decade of knowing you both, why Reimu used to complain about your 'business persona' so much. It even got under  _Marisa's_  skin this time."

"Wh-wh..." Sanae almost knocked her teacup over as she fumbled her words, her face going red. "W-was I really that bad!?"

Kasen nodded, smiling sheepishly. Sanae looked down again and quietened, gripping her cup meekly. "A-and... 'used to'? She doesn't anymore?"

The hermit's smile warmed at Sanae's showing of sincerity. "Not nearly as often. Since a few years ago, actually... but," her smile became more of an irritated smirk as she stared Sanae in the face. "We all got so irritated by you at the end of the year that we decided to work together to come up with ways to beat the Moriya Shrine. So in a way, your taunting worked! In a way. Not that I’d recommend doing it again."

Sanae raised a curious eyebrow, now even more confused. "Wait, wait... If that's what happened, why did no one visit Hakurei Shrine in the end? And the 'Hakurei Land' theme park thing, was that a lie?"

"Uhh..." Kasen's eyelids awkwardly lidded as she fiddled restlessly with her teacup. Her face actually reddened slightly, and it wasn't every day the usually-sensible hermit got embarrassed. "Regrettably, 'Hakurei Land' was a real thing, yes. We uh... seemed to get so excited and caught up in our ideas that we didn't actually think them through."

"S-so..." Sanae's bewildered expression fixed on Kasen as she gripped her teacup tightly. "It...  _wasn't_  Reimu's fault? Even  _you_  were partially responsible!?"

"Ahaha..." Kasen rubbed her temple and awkwardly sipped at her tea. "We all eventually realised on New Years Day that our ideas were terrible..."

"Reimu..." Sanae frowned, increasingly ashamed of how far she had let her misunderstanding lose sight of reality. "I'm sorry, I-I... I've been thinking such terrible things about her... A-all that anger I misdirected at her... ugh..."

Kasen held a hand over the table and reassuringly rubbed Sanae's arm, before taking another sip of tea and huffing a gentle laugh. "It's funny though... a Hakurei God who prefers to stay unknown? Those involved with the shrine seemingly cursed with bad ideas or poor financial sense? Sometimes, it feels as if the Hakurei Shrine itself is rejecting the idea of turning a profit."

...

Before Kasen left, she had briefly asked Sanae if anything else had been bothering her. Hesitantly, Sanae mentioned being frustrated at Moriya Shrine's mysteriously dwindling visitor-count - and Kasen reacted by raising a confused eyebrow.

"You really haven't heard? It's been a popular topic in the Human Village for the past week or so..." she gave Sanae a knowing smile. "Either way, you shouldn't put off visiting Reimu much longer. When you do, I imagine you'll figure everything out."

Being confused and restless didn't help Sanae get out of her curfew though; her elders still insisted that she get a full night's sleep no matter what. It did, however, give her the drive to finally visit Reimu the next day.

Instead of lying awake with her heart angrily and obsessively beating at her head's conjured-up narrative, her heartache was a lot simpler and quieter.

She just... missed Reimu. She missed her girlfriend so much.

' _I've been so stupid..._ '

Fondly imagining Reimu's earnest efforts and mistakes, remembering the magnetic chemistry they shared whenever they let they relaxed around each other... Her smile. How she smelled of Hakurei Shrine. The sound of her heartbeat. The way her hands held Sanae’s so tightly. How she gripped the backs of Sanae’s clothing when they hugged.

“Reimu...  _Reimu_...”

Sanae smiled weakly as her fatigued eyelids fell shut, and she slept heavily.

One good night's sleep wasn't enough to clean the evident exhaustion from her eyes of course, but Sanae did her best to pretty herself up regardless: she was going to see her girlfriend after all! She once again adorned her winter-cutest, her yellow scarf tied into a smart-yet-adorable yellow ribbon.

Kanako and Suwako had insisted on taking care of Moriya Shrine's visitors themselves, but it was already late-morning by the time they had finished pampering Sanae enough to allow her to set off.

Sanae's heart was thumping with uncertainty and questions as she finally headed up the steps to Hakurei Shrine.

But when she reached the top... everything seemed to click into place.

There were...  _visitors_. Not a huge number, but more than Sanae had seen at Hakurei Shrine for quite some time. Some of Moriya Shrine's regulars were even among them.

As she slowly looked around the shrine grounds, other things slowly began to make more sense too. The path to the shrine had been diligently cleared of snow, there were flyers on display advertising some kind of evangelical performance due to be held in the Human Village later in the week.

Reimu was standing to side of the shrine grounds. She seemed to be having a little spat with Aunn about something, but something about her seemed a little more... radiant. Despite the cold weather, Reimu's cheeks were pink and full of life, her posture firm. Even her recognisable red ribbon seemed like it was being taken better care of...

Seeing Hakurei Shrine like this immediately filled Sanae's heart with a strange relief. Sure her rival was seemingly sapping  _her_  visitors, but Sanae had to admit that there was this wonderful, humble vibe here today. One that made her rethink how obsessive she had been about making Moriya Shrine appear immaculate and flawless.

Sanae shut her eyes and took a deep breath in, enjoying the holy-feeling air. Her shoulders relaxed and the anxious knots in her chest felt as if they were loosening. All this made it a little bit easier for Sanae to wear the confident mask she needed to finally approach Reimu.

All right... here goes nothing! Reimu had worked hard, she  _deserved_  to be praised for it!

"No! You're wrong!" Aunn was passionately shouting back at Reimu about something, "Slow and steady wins the race!"

Sanae had barely heard what they were talking about, she was too busy soaking in the shrine’s heartfelt atmosphere as she approached them. "Wow..." she mumbled, finally turning to Reimu. "It feels a little different here."

"You think?" Reimu still seemed a little grumpy about whatever she had been talking with Aunn about, but her eyes subconsciously lit up as she noticed Sanae.

Sanae smiled gently at the reaction, as she stood herself next to Reimu and looked out at the shrine grounds. "How do I put this...? It's less flashy, but more like a shrine now."

' _Even compared to my shrine... this feels like how a shrine should feel._ ' Sanae thought. Her face lit up in surprise that Reimu had once again been a source of inspiration for her, in a weird roundabout way. "I mean, it's amazing!" she beamed at Reimu, a ray of sincerity shining through her plastic mask of confidence.

"O-oh, uh," Reimu's face went beet-red at Sanae's sudden compliment. “...Is it really?”

Sanae's face also suddenly seemed very close to Reimu's. Reimu usually had no problem remaining annoyed with Sanae’s ‘business persona’, but her closeness, her compliment... and the fact that things had been weird between them on top of all that? It made Reimu’s heart race. It filled Reimu with a warmth... but a warmth tinged in an uneasy anxiety.

The suddenness of all these mixed feelings left Reimu staring awkwardly at her girlfriend for a few moments, her face still red.

Sanae nodded enthusiastically and gave Reimu's hand a small, reassuring squeeze. Reimu's eyes virtually lit up, as she suddenly remembered what they were actually talking about. "Y-yes! That's right! I feel like I'd forgotten something important!" Reimu thrust her finger to the sky, grasping at the remaining slivers of her composure, "They say that faith is only achieved through hard work!" sweat beaded on her face as Sanae and Aunn giggled at her awkward attempt at preaching.

The green-head approached Reimu again and nodded. While Reimu seemed to be faking it a little, Sanae... knew how that felt. In spite of everything, she was really, weirdly proud of how much Reimu had turned around her shrine's image in just a few weeks. "Mhm! Good for you!"

In an almost Pavlovian response, Reimu stuck out her chest proudly and stood with her hands on her hips.

' _So cute..._ ' Sanae thought. She had really, really missed Reimu's adorable expressions of pride and fluster. She smirked, taken over by an urge to tease the red-white shrine maiden even more, and flung her arms around Reimu's neck. "That's my  _rival_ ~." she giggled teasingly, before planting her lips comfortably into Reimu's cheek and squeezing her tightly.

As Sanae had hoped, Reimu's face went an adorable bright red and rewarded the green-head with a flustered squeak. Finally things felt... mostly right. A warm relief spread through Sanae’s veins as she scrunched her eyes shut and squeezed Reimu. Resting her head in her girlfriend’s shoulder, she felt Reimu squeeze her back... she felt Reimu’s nose briefly snuggle into her cheek....

‘ _Reimu... My Reimu..._ ’ Sanae sighed to herself deeply, relaxing as Reimu gently pulled away from the hug.

**_*SMACK*_ **

“A-ah... ah...?” Sanae lumbered backwards and held her hand to her cheek. Her cheek began to feel hot... really hot. It started to sting. It was much too cold for this kind of sore heat... “R-...Reimu...?”

She stared, wide-eyed, at her girlfriend. The red-white’s expression really put the ‘furious’ in ‘blushing furiously’. A broad frown was spread across Reimu’s face, her red palm outstretched from hitting Sanae.

Suddenly, Sanae’s fake confidence seemed... useless. Reimu’s unexpected reaction had completely undermined it, causing her tense, delicate barriers to topple over and crumble into dust. How  _could_  she react? All she could do was stare, her mouth hung open, her hand on her stinging cheek.

“Ugh...” Reimu grumbled. She shook her hand slightly, which actually looked like it may be stinging from how hard it whacked Sanae. “What’s  _with_  you?” she said, “You think you can just smooth things over and act like  _nothing’s_  happened? You think you can use that plastic smile of yours to snake your way past  _my_  defences!? No. No! That’s not fair!!”

Unlike Sanae, who was really struggling to maintain eye-contact amid how ashamed she felt, Reimu effortlessly stared her down, a genuine confidence in her steadfast frown.

Oh, yeah... confrontation was something Reimu was pretty good at. Sanae had almost forgotten.

Sanae opened her mouth to say something, but only a confused squeak made its way out. Her eyes began to dart around in a panic, noticing that many of the shrine’s visitors were now staring at them. Some stared intensely, some nervously, shying away their children.

Aunn tilted her head curiously and poked Reimu from the side. “Uhm... Miss Reimu? Your visitors...”

“Heh.” Reimu’s frown quickly became a grin, her posture straightening to the most confident Sanae had seen her in... a surprisingly long time, actually. “Perfect! Nothing boosts faith quite like the spectacle of danmaku!” she put her hands on her head, shooting a competitive glare at Sanae.

“Wh-what...?” Sanae’s eyes widened in confusion. She tried to stand herself straight and edged towards Reimu. “Reimu... Y-you want to  _fight_  me?”

Reimu began to pace around the green-head, eyeing up her prey. “Hmmm... I  _considered_  just talking it out like we usually do. But part of me thought I’d still be upset even if you explained everything to me. I want to get what the hell you’re thinking, and I want  _you_  to  _understand me_. And what better way to understand one another than with a spell card duel?” she grinned and winked at Sanae, “’Cus  _that’s Gensokyo common sense._ ”

The red-white approached her bewildered counterpart and whipped out a thick pile of talisman, passing them to her. “You’ll fight me with these.”

“These are...” Sanae took the pile, getting completely caught up in Reimu’s assertive pace.

“My old homing amulets, the kind I used on the day we first met.” Reimu’s stern expression softened slightly into an awkward smile. “They were gonna be a peace offering gift for you, c-cus I missed you and stuff... but, this feels appropriate.”

A faint blush spread across Sanae’s face at Reimu’s gesture, but her mouth quickly wobbled back into an uncertain panic. “W-wait, but that gives you an unfair handicap!! I don’t know how to use your old amulets!? A-and my own peace offering isn’t anything like-...” she clasped her hands to her mouth.

Reimu smiled and pat Sanae on the back. “Don’t worry, I’ve imbued them with plenty of spiritual power. And they  _are_  homing, a shrine maiden of your skill should be able to pick them up pretty quickly. I won’t use homing ofuda myself, so just try to hit me.” she turned away from Sanae and put some space between them, “Prove to me that you deserve them, that I was right to trust your love for me.”

“You better not be looking down on me...” Sanae pouted, awkwardly staring at Reimu out the top of her eyes.

Reimu shook her head and shrugged nonchalantly. “A handicap for you, a handicap for me. I know I sound overconfident but I  _usually_  use homing ofuda of some kind, so...”

Sanae’s eyebrow twitched. Reimu was enjoying this  _way_  too much. “B-but, since when am I the only bad guy anyway!? What abou-”

“Save it! If you think I’m wrong, you’ll just have to fight me harder!” Reimu held her arms out and floated into the air, setting ofuda up in a thorough pattern around her. “Give me everything you’ve got! Or do you want to give these worshippers the idea that you’d have  _lost_  if you took part in the religious wars back then?”

Taunting. _Taunting_. Reimu was completely,  _utterly_  in her element.

Sanae had been taunting Reimu about shrine work so often since they had met that she had almost forgotten how  _terrifying_  it was to actually go up against Reimu Hakurei, the incident resolver. Reimu Hakurei, the force of nature. Reimu Hakurei, the  _hero_. The fact that Sanae’s image of Reimu had risen so significantly since back then, too... Sanae was actually much more scared of Reimu’s power now than she had been a decade ago.

Sanae snatched up some of Reimu’s homing amulets and flew up in the air, forcing herself to smile awkwardly. ‘ _If it’s for an audience..._ ’ she reminded herself, finding it a little easier to fill herself with confidence that way. She flung her arm out, assembling a set of amulets around her. “All right, Reimu... ready when you are.”

Within a fraction of a second, Reimu had the forefingers of her right hand outstretched and Sanae’s head had subconsciously darted to the right, a slip of ofuda grazing her cheek.

Reimu was really taking this seriously, and this subconsciously made familiar frustrations bubble up in Sanae’s heart. Sanae kept moving to the side, beginning to easily dodge Reimu’s onslaught of direct ofuda attacks, and threw a set of amulets back in Reimu’s direction. “Why is that you’re suddenly good at acting serious when you’re in a fight, but when it comes to the shrine it’s so hard to tell!? I got so mad when I thought you weren’t taking Hakurei Shrine seriously... and when I thought you had intentionally ignored my pleads for help...!” Sanae began to shout as her blood started to pump and her movements slowly became less stringent.

Feeling the adrenaline make its way down her cold arm, Sanae threw one of Reimu’s amulet’s much faster than the other sets, catching Reimu off guard and scraping her shoulder. “And you’re mad at me now, even though you could have come to see me all this time but you never did!?” Sanae continued.

Reimu scoffed as her own movements became quicker. “Huh, you were serious about asking for help? I genuinely couldn’t  _tell_  through your condescending attitude. It felt more like you’d come all the way just to laugh at how much  _better than me_  you were!” Reimu darted a slip to Sanae’s right “And then you did it again,” a quicker ofuda to Sanae’s left “and  _again_.” a lightning-fast attack narrowly missed the top of Sanae’s head “And now you want to blame me for doubting you’d actually have been  _happy to see me_  if I came and visited you!?

 _Dream Sign: Evil-Sealing Circle!!_ ” she shouted relentlessly at the end of her rant, as a barrage of bullets, amulets and ofuda shot out from her in a perfect sphere that would have looked almost like a self-generating firework to any onlookers.

Sanae had seen this move many times before and almost instinctively began to look for familiar holes in the pattern. “I-I didn’t go to laugh at you!” Sanae defensively argued back. “Maybe I went a bit too far, but I got so frustrated seeing you not taking this seriously, jealous that you can just relax and still get by, while I’ve had to work so hard almost all by myself!”

“Quite an assumption to make.” Reimu’s hair stood on end as she shot ofuda through the gaps in her Dream Sign spell, briefly catching her girlfriend off-guard and snagging the left sleeve of her clothing. “I  _did_  take it seriously! Did you seriously not notice how  _stressed_  I was when you came to see me at the end of last year!? Or were you too wrapped up in ‘Gensokyo according to Moriya Shrine’, no thought for how I worry about my own shrine, no concern for the fact I’ve had to do this  _literally by myself_  for most of my life. No komainu, no gods, no nothing.”

Sanae winced as a particularly fast barrage of ofuda engulfed her, grazing her cheek again and even her ear. She peered over to Reimu at the centre of her spell card, noticing her rival's fists were shaking, her breaths stuttered.

She had been bottling up this frustration for quite some time.

“I-I-...” Sanae darted through the gaps in Reimu’s attack, trying to get closer.

Reimu grimaced “I’m sorry you had a tough time dealing with such a big crowd almost by yourself. I am. But you have to understand, I’ve never seen even  _half_  that level of success on  _any_  New Years shrine visit since I became the Hakurei shrine maiden. Not once! Do you have any idea how that, combined with your snooty attitude, makes  _me_   _feel_!?”

Reimu’s attacks increased in ferocity, but her words were what made it difficult for Sanae to avoid them. Sanae couldn’t help but feel defensive, but she looked at the red-white and could only see that she was hurting too. Sanae shut her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to make herself relax.

She wanted to make a path to Reimu. They had to understand one another.

“ _Sea Opening: The Day the Sea Split!_ ” Sanae called out her spell card in a clear voice, as what appeared to be waves made up of ocean-blue lasers crashed through Reimu’s spell card while Sanae shot spells directly to her front, piercing an opening in Reimu’s defences and charging through.

“I’m sorry!!” Sanae shouted through to Reimu. “I got so wrapped up in work, too caught up in the idea of competition! And I was so upset by the thought you weren’t taking it seriously, then even more upset when you just kept ignoring me every time I came to visit again after that!”

Her own spell card finally coming to an end, Reimu was forced to quickly escape to the side from Sanae’s direct bullets, a few of them scraping her heel. “You of all people know how it feels to be defensive, right!?” Reimu shouted. “When I thought you were only coming to taunt again, being competitive and confident about _our_ plans was the best way for me to stay positive myself! When in reality all I wanted was for you to just  _apologise_!”

Reimu focused the aim of her shots at Sanae again, reading her movements more carefully as Sanae made her approach.

“I-I really look up to you, Reimu…! And Hakurei Shrine’s role in Gensokyo is amazing… s-so when I heard about 'Hakurei Land’ I just uh…” Sanae laughed awkwardly as she zipped from side to side, nimbly evading Reimu’s attacks to close the space between them while throwing off homing amulets to throw off Reimu’s aim. “I got mad. I didn’t want to see you, I thought you were treating this all like some kind of joke...”

Reimu tilted her head and frowned. “The 'Hakurei Land’ thing was, uh…”

“I-I know.” Sanae continued, trying apologetically to smile sweetly. “Miss Kasen came and told me. I know now that I was wrong, b-but I...”

“Right.” Reimu glared, ramping up her merciless barrage and once again pressuring Sanae further away. “So even after you found out you had been wrong, you still waltzed over here today and acted like nothing happened, even though you must have found out how much your disdainful attitude hurt me? Do you really look back on the past month and think to yourself 'Reimu was totally fine! No sleepless nights, no anxiety for her shrine’s future, no wondering if her asshole girlfriend even gave a shit about her’!?” 

Reimu had maintained eye-contact the entire time, but tears were evidently forming in her red eyes as she spoke, her voice cracking slightly towards the end.

Sanae’s heart fell into her stomach, her lip trembling slightly. Immobilised by shame, she had barely even noticed as ofuda grazed cuts into her cheeks and shoulders one after the other.

She remembered how relieved she was to hear from Aunn that Reimu still loved her, but Reimu never once got that kind of reassurance, did she…? 

“I’m sorry… I was stupid, I took you for granted even though I love you so much, I-…” Sanae mumbled, her attacks notably weakening in intensity.

“I don’t want to hear you calling yourself stupid. You really think I wanna hear my loved ones insulting themselves? You think that’ll fix things!?” Reimu cut her off, keeping the distance between them.

Now more lost for words than ever, Sanae was beginning to tremble slightly herself and hung in the air. “O-okay well, I’m sorry! I’m really, really sorry... I’m sorry for a whole bunch of things! I’m sorry for thinking I was too mature to make mistakes anymore, sorry for convincing myself and everyone around me that my attitude would never hurt anyone...”

“You’re not fighting back, Sanae.” Reimu interrupted and smiled weakly, tears trickling quietly from her eyes. She began to float towards Sanae, firing ofuda off to Sanae’s sides in order to stop her from moving much “I wanna understand what’s going through  _your_  head too, but how can I do that if you just roll over and accept defeat? How can we be honest with each other if you’re not gonna be honest with me!?”

Sanae was meekly holding her fists to her face, trying to block Reimu’s ofuda. “Y-you were mad, s-so I...” she focused more on minimising the damage she was taking in a battle she had seemingly given up on. “I just wanted to talk, and now I understand why you’re mad, a-and I’m sorry...”

“You don’t get it! This is a  _duel_!” Reimu’s barrage intensified again as she drew closer to Sanae. “You’re taking all my attacks, trying to understand me, but you’re not trying to make me to understand you! You don’t  _get_  to give up because you feel bad for me, where’s all your frustration!? I  _know_ you have it, too!”

“I-I’m  _fine_.” Sanae bit her lip, throwing a few clumsy amulets in Reimu’s general direction.

“You’re not  _fine_!” Reimu shouted, “After I slapped you, your mask of confidence snapped like a twig! Your eyes have sickly dark circles, your hair looks weak, your hands are cold and covered in blisters, you’re a complete mess!! You’re not okay at all, are you!?”

“Shut up.” Sanae pouted, tears building in the corners of her eyes. She irritably threw off some other homing amulets, this time directly, yet lazily, in the direction Reimu was flying towards her from. “What do you want from me? I’m here, saying I’m sorry, telling you I messed up. What are you getting out of  _humiliating_  me? Do you not believe I’m sorry? Do you want me to make more excuses!? Why can’t you just drop this!?”

“Humiliating you? Aren’t you doing that to yourself? Stand up for yourself!  _Fight. BACK._ ”

Sanae was getting irritated. She gripped her head in annoyance, meekly throwing off some amulets again, now clenching her teeth. “I  _am_  fighting, the difference in power between us is just too great...!”

“Bullshit.” Reimu grinned. “ _That’s_  an excuse! You’re fighting even worse than you did when we first met! Back when you poured all your hopes and frustrations into our fight. Back when you bitterly clutched at the earth when you lost!!”

“These are  _your ofuda, I can’t use them!!”_

 _“Excuses!!_ You’re not standing up for yourself! _”_  Reimu bellowed, speeding her attacks further and grazing Sanae’s stomach. “You’re better than that, you’re a shrine maiden! You’re a goddess!!”

“St-stop putting so much pressure on me! Leave me alone!!” Sanae clutched at her noisily thumping head and scowled. “Wh-why are you doing this to me, R-Reimu!? I l-love y-...”

A mere instant later though, Reimu had already completely closed the distance between them. She snatched Sanae’s scarf and collar in her hands and glared her firmly in the eyes, Sanae subconsciously clutching her wrists to try and pry them off her.

“Pressure? You mean all the pressure  _you_  put on  _yourself?”_ Reimu frowned, her face red from exasperation, “Look at you. You’re barely holding together, but even  _now_  when I’m trying to make you scream at me you still insist on pretending you’re okay!!”

“Look. I  _know_  I worked too hard this year, I got scolded for it all day yesterday.” Sanae grimaced, tugging at Reimu’s hands, digging her nails into Reimu’s wrists slightly. “So stop worrying about me, I’ll be  _fine_.”

“And when it happens again?” Reimu scowled, pressing her forehead aggressively to Sanae’s. “You never told anyone how much you were struggling, even though I was  _right there_. Even though I wanted to see you  _all year._ ”

Sanae scowled back, her face reddening, tears mounting in her eyes, frustrated adrenaline pumping from her head through her arms. “Don’t act like you’re the only one who wanted us to be able to see each other. So what, then? What have I been working so hard for, if people just turn around and tell me I’m working too hard?”

“That’s not the point!” Reimu’s voice escalated again “You’re not supposed to work just for praise! You’re supposed to work for your livelihood, and you’re  _part_  of that livelihood!” the red-white’s face neared Sanae’s, her eyes furious with worried tears. “You have to  _tell someone_  when you’re not okay, Sanae! You can tell  _me_  when you’re not okay!!”

“ _Aaaa **aagggh**!!_ ” Sanae screamed, shoving Reimu off her with far more force than she had used so far today as frustration boiled over through the tips of her fingers. “Shut up! Get off my damn  _case_! I’m tired of all the condescending lectures!!”

Reimu grinned, but her smile was quickly interrupted by one of Sanae’s homing amulets knocking her off-guard and thwacking her in the arm from behind.

“Pressure? You wanna know what I think about _pressure_!?When you come to another world where everything’s different, when everyone you know is a youkai or superhuman or god, when you have divine powers and everyone you know boasts about you,” words began to tumble from Sanae’s throat as she ramped up a flurry of unreadable attacks, “when you have a loving family so you don't feel comfortable complaining to your lonely friends, but a family who’ve been through so much that you don’t want to complain to them either!?

Reimu was being pushed back, her eyes darting in every direction as she tried to anticipate the direction Sanae’s chaotic homing amulets could strike her from next - but her eyes were wide in excitement, and a thrilled smile was spread across her face.

“ _Esoterica: Gray Thaumaturgy!!_ “ Sanae yelled, setting another spell card in motion as bullet formations in the shape of huge stars began to scatter in the sky while she kept the pressure on Reimu with her amulets, “A-and yeah! I admit it!! When the one person I thought I could turn to, someone I thought was my kindred spirit, looked like she was taking everything in her stride!? I thought,  _well_! I couldn’t possibly bother her with my selfish crap either, could I!?” tears welled up in Sanae’s eyes as she screamed at Reimu, darting quickly after the red-white to prevent her from escaping her danmaku.

“Even though I’ve lived here ten years, even though I’m surrounded by people who love me, it’s so easy to feel overwhelmed. In the outside world I was special, but now it’s so easy to feel weak. It’s so easy to feel like... in a world where  _everyone_  is special, the only thing I have that makes me stand out is when I make myself  _constantly exceptional_.” Sanae managed to narrow Reimu into one of her spell card’s star-patterns, closing her from leaving as homing amulets drew towards her from behind.

“Being told that my workaholic side, my confident persona, is actually harmful not just to myself but to my loved ones... and knowing that the person I love most, the person I look up to most, thinks that too...!?”

Sanae laughed bitterly to herself as she rebounded one homing amulet off another, sending it hurtling towards Reimu’s only potential escape route much faster than Reimu had predicted. “Well... sorry if it’s a tough pill to swallow.”

“Ehehe.” Reimu smiled sheepishly, sweat beading on her forehead, “Yeah, that makes sense.” The red-white’s eyes darted around for another way out. All she could manage was to hold her arms in front of her face though, as Sanae’s direct aimed homing amulets hurtled towards her front, and one of Sanae’s star-shaped bullet patterns closed imminently around her.

...

“Reimu...” Sanae frowned as she bent over, a long lock of her silky green hair awkwardly slipping down her fringe. Her girlfriend was laying on the ground, covered in scrapes. “If you’re playing dead, I’m going to smack you.”

The red-white languidly turned her head to face Sanae, grinning. “No, no! I’m just... ahhaha... wow... you really got my heart racing towards the end, there.” Reimu panted, taking another few heavy breaths. “That was the most fun I’ve had in a spell card duel in... well, a while I guess.”

Sanae pouted, but sheepishly held her hand out. Reimu eagerly clasped onto it, and was pulled to her feet. Feeling their hands tightly gripping each other’s, Reimu eagerly threw her arms around Sanae as she finally came to a stand and pressed her face tightly into Sanae’s cheek. “You’re way better at this than you think you are! That’s my  _rival_!!” Reimu giggled.

The green-head had been marred with a complex flurry of emotions, but her expression finally softened. A warm smile spread across her face as she wrapped her arms receptively around Reimu’s head and heaved a tired sigh to herself. She pulled Reimu tightly into herself, burying her nose in Reimu’s shoulder, not wanting to let go.

As the racing of their hearts and their rapid breaths began to calm, the sounds of faint muttering and clapping became apparent.

Oh, yeah...  there had been an audience. That’s right.

“Reimu.” Sanae squeezed her girlfriend’s shoulder. 

“Yeah.” Reimu nodded and let go. “I may not have your public face, but I learnt a thing or two about fighting for performance from those religious wars, remember?”

Sanae giggled. Still holding hands, the two of them faced the crowd and bowed gently, then waved. The number of visitors seemed to have risen even further since the fight had started. Of course, Aunn was among them, probably clapping and cheering the most excitedly out of anyone.

“Thanks!” Reimu shouted as she waved. “And remember, I’ll be in the village later this week for other performances of evangelism! Don’t forget to donate to our shrines, our gods will surely share their power with you!”

Reimu felt a squeeze on her hand and looked to face Sanae, who wore an amused grin. “That was actually pretty good.”

“Mm? Well, my girlfriend’s pretty good at that kinda thing, so I may have picked up a thing or two from her as well.” Reimu smirked confidently as she gently tugged Sanae in the direction of the shrine building. “And speaking of which, I gotta say that probably the worst thing you did to me earlier today was kiss me while still doing that ‘fake confidence’ thing. Now I think I’m developing a crush on the only part of you I used to find really annoying.”

A bright pink flushed across Sanae’s cheeks, a meek surprise shining in her eyes. As she followed after Reimu, she shut her eyes calmly and smiled. “That’s a shame, I guess I’ll just have to keep kissing you to make up for it.”

...

Reimu walked delicately into the living area, a tray of tea and rice snacks cluttering gently in her hands. She set it down on the low table, poured a hot cup of tea for Sanae, and sat herself on a cushion next to the green-head. Sanae affectionately ruffled her girlfriend’s black hair, then took the teapot and poured Reimu’s cup for her.

The couple took quiet sips from their hot tea and sighed contently. Being physically exhausted, covered in scratches and bruises, throats sore from shouting, the tea was almost as satisfying as the tight hug they shared at the end of their battle.

“So... what  _was_  that?” Sanae smiled sheepishly, glancing at Reimu out the corner of her eyes.

“Hey, it worked, didn’t it?” Reimu grinned proudly. “I wanted us to let off some steam in a way I knew we wouldn’t achieve just by arguing. Again.” she leaned her weight into Sanae slightly, which surprised the green-head a little as her teacup jittered in her hands. “Plus it was fun! I really missed duelling you.”

Sanae nodded and smiled gently to herself... So that was why Reimu was so bothered that Sanae wasn’t fighting back.

Spell card duels aren’t just a way to peacefully resolve incidents. They’re a way for two people who barely know each other to passionately clash their personalities, their hopes, their frustrations. If one person just isn’t into it, how are they supposed to understand one another?

That’s how it had been when Reimu and Sanae first met.

When a younger, more naive Sanae had put  _everything_  she had in trying to prove that Moriya Shrine had a place in Gensokyo, that  _she_  had a place in Gensokyo. That was when Reimu had reached her hand out to that lonely, overwhelmed, and frustrated girl for the very first time.

It was actually surreal how relaxed Sanae felt after all that. If Reimu hadn’t been the one to suggest it, Sanae would have felt almost ashamed by how much a little blood-pumping spell card duel had helped her to vent her frustrations and anxieties out.

But it wasn’t as if their tensions had completely dispersed, either. Tired, warm, and eager for more assurance, Reimu and Sanae spent a good while talking things through. Apologising. Understanding each other. It was something they had gotten pretty good at over the years.

Reimu got to have her duel, so Sanae got to have the talk she wanted. It was only fair, yet being prefixed by the battle made them both far less guarded, far more willing to listen.

Before they knew it, the apologies were over and they were talking about  _everything_. They had barely seen each other all year, after all.

One tangent constantly led to another, they had to keep revisiting subjects, interrupting each other, laughing, indulging, reminding each other what they were talking about. It suddenly dawned on both of them that they had a ridiculous amount to catch up on, and the longer they talked without pause the more they felt like they couldn’t wait to share even more, that there was no one they'd rather be talking to.

They took opportunities to stare smitten gazes as they watched the other speak, doting flames kindling away comfortably in their hearts.

‘ _How has it been so long? How did we ever let it get as bad as it did?_ ’

In the blink of an eye, hours had passed. They had talked about everything from Sanae worrying about overthinking Moriya Shrine, to how Reimu was coping with a komainu as a full-time addition to shrine life, to Sanae’s old ‘kindred spirits’ thing.

Actually, to Sanae’s surprise, Reimu had similar thoughts.

Both of them felt like because the other was in their life, they could stay grounded. Grasp a better idea of who they were, where they were, who they wanted to be.

“Ahh, man.” Reimu suddenly interrupted and shot a look outside - it was already getting dark. She stretched her arms up into the air, pulling on her elbow above her head. “I-it’s getting late, I should probably get some more work done.” she stood up and began to walk towards her boots outside the room.

Sanae blinked, her jaw hung open slightly. Their third or fourth pot of tea had already fallen lukewarm, but she wasn’t used to Reimu being so eager to work.

Then Sanae blinked again as a realisation hit her, “W-wait! Wait!”

“Uh?” Reimu turned back towards Sanae, who was shuffling around with her scarf and her things. She quickly pulled something out and quickly crawled back over the tatami towards Reimu.

“U-uhm...” Sanae scratched her face. “I’m not sure it’s anywhere near as sentimental as the homing amulets you gave to me, but I have my own peace offering.”

The green-head held Reimu’s hand in her free one, and outstretched their palms together. Then, she placed a fairly small, fluffy thing on Reimu’s hand.

It was about the size of a snowball, a round, blue thing with a long tadpole-like tail and a pinky-red nose. Or was it a mouth? By far the most striking thing about it though, was the big black swirl on its belly.

It was a little scruffy, its tail was awkwardly bent and one of its eyes seemed to have some worn stitching. It looked really well-loved.

Reimu looked at Sanae in confusion, holding the thingy in her outstretched palms. Sanae blushed again, but looked Reimu earnestly in the eyes as she spoke. “It’s a plushie of Poliwag, a Pokémon. It’s uhm... from that thing Pikachu is from.”

Some of the confusion in Reimu’s eyes lightened. Just a bit, but it seemed that she at least remembered who Pikachu was from the previous times Sanae had mentioned it over the years.

Sanae continued, “Poliwag is sentimental to me, personally... it’s a tadpole, a baby frog. Lady Suwako doesn’t know much about games... but she learnt about Poliwag and got this for me as a gift when I was a kid.” she giggled “she told me that if I ever doubt myself, I should remember that Poliwag is still a fledgling too, that still has plenty of time to grow...”

“You’re... giving this to  _me_?” Reimu stared at it. “This kinda seems even more sentimental than the homing amulets...” she pouted.

“Oh, it’s okay!” Sanae giggled awkwardly and closed Reimu’s hand over it, sitting down next to her again. “I don’t use it much anymore. Just think of it like I’m entrusting an old piece of my heart, a sign of my love!  _Or_...” Sanae awkwardly rubbed her head, “you can use to remember that your girlfriend can still be a dumb baby tadpole sometimes.”

Reimu snorted a laugh, and Sanae laughed awkwardly with her. The red-white knelt up slightly and fondly stroked Sanae’s hair.

“My girlfriend can be dumb, but I can be dumb too. So... that’s actually kind of relieving sometimes. You’re definitely not a baby though.” she beamed warmly at the green-head. “You’ve grown so much and gotten so strong that the day we met, that I can hardly believe you’re the same person sometimes. You don’t have to overwork yourself, or perform amazing miracles, for me to see you as one of the most exceptional people I’ve ever met.”

“R-Reimu... I love you...” Sanae sighed as her jittery expression calmed, her mouth melting into a wobbly smile and a light pink brushing her cheeks. “You’re kinda different too. You’ve gotten almost too good at being cheesy...”

“Sometimes I feel like I’m going to literally explode from how in love with you I am, Sanae.” Reimu pouted playfully and raised an eyebrow. “It’s a serious problem.”

“ _Reimu_!!” Sanae squealed, her face falling several shades pinker. “Are you trying to make  _me_  explode!?”

But Reimu was now staring at the Poliwag doll, grinning. “Actually... I was just thinking I’d miss you when I go out working again, but now I can cuddle this every night while I sleep. Thank you, Sanae.”

“Wh-!?” Sanae blurted out, her face shooting to an even deeper red, “R-Reimu that’s... embarrassing.”

“Hey,  _you_  gave it to me, so it’s mine now! My own little piece of Sanae.” Reimu possessively wrapped her arms around the little blue Pokémon plush and turned back away to head outside. A blush spread across her own face as she grinned back at Sanae, “If you don’t like it, we’ll just have to live together, huh?”

Sanae’s mouth wobbled, her cheeks pinked as she wrapped her mind around Reimu’s vague invitation. “W-well, of course I  _want_  to, b-but I...” she blubbered as Reimu continued to put her boots on and wrap up warm.

She was still possessively holding the doll.

“H-hey, where are you taking it!?” Sanae scrambled to get her things together and follow after Reimu.

Reimu hummed nonchalantly as she slid open the front door of her shrine and turned back to Sanae again. “It’s gonna help me work hard. Wait ‘til people hear a little piece of Sanae’s heart is working for Hakurei Shrine now!”

“ _Reimu!!”_ Sanae exasperatedly scrambled her own boots on. “Y-you don’t need to do that... I’ll just go with you and help you myself!” she awkwardly, but determinedly nodded. “I uh... missed you, after all.”

The red-white shrine maiden stopped and turned around, her playful grin becoming a more shy smile as she looked down at the doll in her arms. “In that case... let’s at least make better use of the ropeway this year and see each other way more often. Promise?”

Sanae’s mind whirred for a few moments as she tried to form an excuse out of habit. No! They could _easily_ see each other at least once a week, maybe even more. She needed to overwork herself less, she needed to see Reimu more. There was really... no good reason to object.

“... Promise.” Sanae nodded, her mouth in a determined v-shape.

Reimu smiled warmly for a moment, before her eyes shot open again. “O-oh, but I really do want to keep the shrine work going while it’s rolling! Come on!”

Sanae smiled sweetly, proudly at her girlfriend. She picked up her things and followed the red-white outside.

‘ _I’m glad... she’s really taking the shrine thing seriously this year.'_

 

* * *

Some things never change, though. Reimu had always disliked hard work, and was so satisfied at being praised by Sanae for her efforts that she quickly relaxed into her old ways.

Predictably, Hakurei Shrine was back to the brink of poverty again within a few months.

Still, having a doting girlfriend from a family of doting gods meant that Reimu Hakurei never felt like she had to struggle alone anymore.

In fact, Reimu had never felt more comfort and security in her life as she did now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
> Kajika frogs: A Japanese-native frog known for its impressive cry, that has been compared to singing. It is also nicknamed the "singing frog".  
> Ofuda: a charm-inscribed strip of paper used in Shintoism, as amulets or talisman for purification or exorcism. In Touhou, they're a particularly common weapon for Reimu, though Sanae and some other characters sometimes use them too.  
> danmaku: "bullet hell", bullet barrage, bullet curtain, fire curtain etc. The genre of shootemup Touhou falls in  
> komainu: literally "lion-dog", a statue commonly intended to guard shrines and temples.  
> Poliwag: Its newly grown legs prevent it from running. It appears to prefer swimming than trying to stand.
> 
> \----------------------------------------------  
> Final thoughts:
> 
> Phew! What started out as a fun little side-project where the goal was to rewrite some canon events with more romance, turned into another fairly big project.
> 
> Overall, I'm happier with how the last four chapters turned out than I initially expected, but I definitely think my workflow and the writing overall benefits when I have a more solid idea of ending and character arcs from the get-go. Writing lots of little isolated events is difficult.
> 
> Still, it was a rather experimental fanfic and I intentionally challenged myself with it. I consciously decided to avoid making ch8 just another heart-to-heart conversation (I have multiple drafts of that written) in favour of trying to write another danmaku duel, something I've struggled with in the past. I love the idea of characters arguing and throwing their emotions into danmaku, so I hope I could pull it off to an extent.
> 
> When I first started this story, I said I may keep adding to it so long as I keep getting ideas for it. That's... kinda still the plan. I don't have any ideas right now, and if Wild and Horned Hermit ends soon then it might be a while before I get new Reimu+Sanae content to work with, but I won't discount the possibility of adding to this someday.
> 
> WHAT'S NEXT:  
> Surprise!! Tomorrow, I'll be rounding off 2018, a year in which I wrote two surprisingly long Touhou fics, with a Touhou Christmas fic! If you've read to the end if this, you'll /definitely/ like it.
> 
> After that though, I probably won't be returning to Touhou for a little while. I still intend for my next main project to be a return to the Pokémon story I started out with, but I hope to return to Touhou with a deeper Reimu-focused story after that.
> 
> If you've read this story to the end, I really can't thank you enough. It's not the most popular pairing but I love it a lot, and it'd make me really happy if you shared your thoughts, positive OR negative, on this story. As always, I hope my writing made people emotional or made them smile, but hearing constructive criticism could make me even better at that in the future.
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


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